A
female
age
36-40,
*umelo
writes:Hello pipsSorry for the long story. just need to let it outhere is the story.me and my ex got back together like 2 months ago, he is the one who actually initiated the get together thing, however i knew that he had a girlfriend, the intention was not to get together again with him, i guess i just left things get all heated up than i expected,before i knew it we were inlove again,talking to each other everyday, he even said he felt closer to me than when we started dating years ago,mutual feeling anyway, back then we were quite young,during our 3 year break up he had a child so did i.Now him and the baby momma broke up, she now demands R2800 per month from him no access to the child, if he wants access to the child he must marry her,"according to her".he lost a car that was only 3 months,it wasnt insured,he is still paying for that.back at home he is the only 1 who has a better paying job, he has to take care of his siblings and stuff.recently he sent me an email saying that there is something we didnt talk about (the girlfriend)he says he doesnt want me to feel as if he is playing me. and i told him that i dont want him to feel pressured to choose, and anyway i knew about the girl before everything started,and said the best thing to do is to just get on with our lives and forget this ever happened (we should break up), Was i rational? did i respond too quickly? as he didnt say what he wanted us to talk about exactly about (the girl)\just assumed maybe he wanted me out of his life.The thing is after the email, the following day he cc's me the email he sent to his parents, saying that he doesnt want to have to face the horrible life he is living,and so that people stop demanding things from him (the baby momma)he says he is scared of making decisions, he doesnt know if it will be the right once,he is scared of facing his life,in turn he uses work as an excusse just to keep busy.I want to support him as this scares the hell out of me he might do something stupid,but he is pushing me away,he doesnt talk about his problems and i want to be there for him, should i leave this to the girlfriend, as he might perceive me as trying to compete with this women, do i cut all ties with him and think of him as something that happened in the past and never worked out, do i leave him when he is facing such lot of problems.I'm so comfused Please help.
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male
reader, Cowboy254  +, writes (9 March 2009):
I'd still check into go he a and find out what he wanted to say that day try to help him if he talks about it maybe he'll feel a little better
A
female
reader, tumelo +, writes (9 March 2009):
tumelo is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThx for the response i guess i have to rephrase the question, him and the baby momma broke up long time ago(2yrs), before we got together, now the girl was someone he was seeing at the time we got together, who he met through friends
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A
male
reader, Cowboy254 +, writes (9 March 2009):
I think it would be wise to find out what've wanted to say and I could understand why he is soo stressed try to be supportive and I'd be careful what I said to him mostly if it's over you still had the memories of you two being together but you should try anyways it wouldnt hurt I hope I was able to help you I need a little help of my own it's title is about girlfriend being beaten by stepdad I need some help too but I hope everything works out for you and oh yeah he probably won't feel that you are competeing with the other women we guys don't normally pay attention to that ;)
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A
female
reader, bootyboot +, writes (9 March 2009):
ok, this is a very convoluted story.
first of all, if this guy is going to be irresponsible and father a child but not take care of it, then that is a shame. he should have been more careful! people, use protection if you do not have the means to finance a child!!!
secondly, why get back with someone while they have a gf? i'm sorry, but you are a home wrecker because this guy was dating a girl he had a child with and now she has to support this baby on her own while he galavants off with you. i feel sorry for her and i don't blame her for wanting to get even.
yeah, i feel bad for the guy, he has a lot of bad stuff he's going to have to deal with, but he needs to man up and take responsibility. i don't think being in a relationship is good for either of you. you can give him support, but i was stay broken up. he's got too much to worry about and that whole situation sounds like a mess you have business being involved with.
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