A
female
age
41-50,
*schmit3
writes:I am just wondering why my boyfriend won't go down on me anymore. We haveo nly been together about 4 months and I keep myself well groomed. THe most it ever gets to down there is a little stubbly which he has commented he likes because it "tickles" him. So I don't understand. I don't smell either and I go down on him multiple times a week. He used to do it all the time. He used to BEG me to let him eat me out and he would be down there for a while. I don't know what changed. Is it that he's "gotten me" and now he doesn't feel like he has to do it to impress or whatever anymore? I've brought it up lots of times and he always has an excuse (like hes stressed out or doesn't feel good) or acts like he'll do it next time and then never does. Even when I go down on him. I would understand if he was truly stressed or didn't feel good and then made it up to me when he did feel good, but that never happens. It's not like I ask during foreplay or anything because I don't feel like I should have to, but he knows I want him to. I go down on him very reguarly without him asking. I honestly like giving him oral because he enjoys it so much. It hurts my feelings that he doesn't return the favor ever. And i mean never. It hasn't happened in probably close to a month and before that it was only rare and only when directly asked. And, like I stated before, I am down there willying, happily, and generously weekly, sometimes daily. I am nearly past hurt feelings and now pretty much angry. He is very sweet and caring in every other way, so I hate to nag him about it, but it realy does bother me. I would atleast like to know why he doesn't like to do it so we could work on it or at the very least find an alternative way to equal things out. I just don't know what could have changed in such a short time for it to go from very eager and willing to pretty much having to be forced to do it. Have any other girls experienced this? How did you handle it? And guys, can you please give me any insight at all? I'm pretty put off and hurt by it. Like I said, everything else in the relationship is great; we rarely argue, communicate very well (about everything but this it seems) and carea bout each other very much. Now everytime we have sex and I go down on him before, I get pretty angry afterwards because, once again, he has failed to take my needs into consideration. I know someone will advise me to stop going down on him and see if that changes anything, but I honestly don't want to do that. I truly enjoy it and I hope there is another way to fix this problem. AM i just being picky? I am so CONFUSED!
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2009): WOAH WOAH WOAH! if i were you....i would STOP GOING DOWN ON HIM see how he likes that!!! but you also need to ask him and tell him to give you an honest straight up answer and no bullshit and that you won't be hurt by his answer before you just stop going down on him. explain to him it's not fair. ask him why he has a problem with it. and ask nicely.
A
male
reader, Milo-kid  +, writes (9 March 2009):
hey jess. wel i think i'm more or de same as ur man. i used to go down on my girl everytime we hit it on n blv me i reali enjoyed it but dat changed instantly wen 1 day i went down n came out wit blood, she was enterin dat of de month. i was so embarrassed, not to mention disgusted. by de tym i got to de toilet it was too late, i had already messed al de way frm de bedroom. eva since den i neva felt lyk doin it eva again.
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A
female
reader, bootyboot +, writes (9 March 2009):
i agree, it sounds like he might have had a one time bad experience with a taste/smell and is afraid to go back.
you need to communicate with him, just don't be angry with him or yell when you tell him because that does no good. ust ask him simply 'hey, i'm wondering, why don't you ever give me head anymore? is there something you don't like and you can just tell me, i really want to know.'
and boom, hopefully he'll give you a real answer!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2009): Try talking to him about it, if that dosen't work then your have to stop going down on him. Loads of women/men have done it before so I don't see the problem, fair is fair right.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (9 March 2009):
 Many women enjoy giving head, as you have indicated, but if oral satisfaction becomes very one-sided, it is simply not fair. In my opinion, it is extremely selfish of a man to enjoy oral satisfaction provided by his mate without returning the favor. You can deal with that issue as you wish, but I think that you are being cheated out of enjoyment.
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A
female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (9 March 2009):
 Sometimes there can be a smell or taste down there that is a bit off-putting. These changes come and go with our menstrual cycles.
He may have been down there a few months ago and had it taste a little off, and it might have scared him since if he doesn't understand that it is natural and not a reflection on your personal hygiene.
Be up front with him and let him know you won't be hurt by his answer, you just want to know the truth. Tell him how unfair you think it is that you will go down on him happily, but he can't even give you the reason for why he doesn't want to orally please you.
Also, some guys just aren't into it, and if that's the case, then you need to decide what you want from him in that department.
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