A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I was dating a guy for 6 months and he told me he wasnt ready for a steady relationship. Since then i moved on and met someone else who is 20years older. Been dating him for 3 months. He is very nice to me and he is looking for something very serious but friends/family believe he is too old. Now my previous boyfriend is back and we went out on a date on saturday. he wants us to keep dating for now. He says he has feelings for me but he is scared of commitments because he believes he doesnt want to get hurt.I am now in the loop with two guys but before i proceed any further not to hurt anyone i would like to step back and think. Please can you help.Thanks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, bootyboot  +, writes (9 March 2009):
ok, here goes:
forget what your friends and family say about the older guy, ask yourself, does his age truly bother you? if yes, then let this one go. you can't change your age difference, and imagine being with this guy when you're 40, he'll be 60! trust me, my parents have such an age difference, and my mom greatly regrets her decision to marry such an older man.
now on the ever so popular commitment phobe. these guys seem to be everywhere, they are afraid of getting hurt, it's always something about getting hurt. well guess what, that's life. we all get hurt. i don't understand it, if you like someone take a chance, don't let you past experiences allow you to lose a potential soul mate! these phobic types are tricky to deal with. they are like a chia pet, you have to steadily and patiently water them until they finally bloom. It takes a lot of time and work and you have to show him that he can trust you.
but honestly, i say let the older man go, he should be dating someone his own age anyway, typical man wanting some young chipy.
you can try with the scardy-cat but i would ask myself if i'm willing to put in the man-hours of convincing for this guy. he sounds like a pain in the neck with all this flakyness.
A
male
reader, Milo-kid  +, writes (9 March 2009):
u knw often guys who r scared of commitments r players. dey dnt want to commit bcoz dey knw dat once u find out bout de other relationship, u'd nag him bout dat commitment issue. but i'm not sayin dat ur guy is a player thou. so my advice is dat u need to take ur tym n decide who is wil an asset n not a liability in ur lyf
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