A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and i have been going out for about 7 months. She has always said that she thinks sucking dick is disgusting. However she said that she has done it in the past to other guys. It is really starting to bother me everytime we talk about it and she doesnt give me a real answer as to why she wont do it. I need help with this its driving me insane knowing that she has done it before but wont do it to me. It makes me feel like she doesnt care enough about me or finds me unattractive. What should i do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2008): Hey i know im really late in this reply but i just found the site today.
Anyway, I can kinda relate.
My gf doesnt mind giving bjs she did it in the past and she does it for me but before me she swallowed once but hated it.
However, she knew that i wanted her to swallow and one day while having sex i asked her if she would do it and she said that she would if i wanted her to and if it would make me happy. I said yes and she did it.
she didnt like it but she did it. it felt GREAT and she knew based on my reaction at the time and also i spoke about it a couple times.
anyway, my answer to your situation is that you should do what i did..
she already knows that you want her to do it..dont ever bring it up again..i didnt and about a month or 2 after never hearing about it we were driving and all of a sudden she went down on me and as i was about to cum i told her and she said its okay she will do it..
all you need to do is keep your gf happy emotionally and support her and show her love without pampering her too much (all women need a little alone time..and ALONE TIME MEAN ALONE TIME, not liming with friends but home or something) and trust me you will get everything you want just dont pressure her keep her happy and she will keep you happy..
Cheers
A
female
reader, babiimegz  +, writes (24 February 2008):
ive dun it beofre and i hate it to..its disgusting..if she doesnt want to do it its probabley nothing to do with you sum woomen just dont like that and there probabley isnt anything u cand o to change it
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008): Women can very screwed up. She blew other guys but does not blow you while she claims to care for you.
Okay so clearly she has problems.
Why would she do it for other guys but not you?
Women can be very strange and it might indeed be that she does really care about you.
Doing something you hate for someone you don't care about is DIFFERENt then doing soemthing you hate for someone you care about.
The opposite is more usually accounterd, most of us would hate it when we are pissed in the face, but moms changing their baby sons go Awwh when that happens and are happy to whipe the shit of the baby for years when they scream at their husband for peeing beside the pot.
Her case MIGHT be that she didn't expect any better from those other guys then to do something she didn't want to do. She expect you to treat her better.
I have in the past seen women who would sleep around with every guy they met except the one guy they really like. It is hard to explain because I don't understand the reasoning myself but I seen similar behaviour in a close friend.
While there might be other reasons it doesn't have to mean she doesn't like you, it might be that you are far more important to her then any of the other guys in her past and that since she sees fellatio as something negative she doesn't want to do it with you.
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A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (20 February 2008):
My guess is that if you force her,she'll do it just to please you and you'll surely won't enjoy mt dear.Don't think it's because of the shape,smell or size of your dick.Even if you brought a Ben Afflik's dick,she still wouldn't suck it coz SHE DOESN'T LIKE.Accept her the way she is or leave her!
WOW!!!!
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A
female
reader, Cherriepie +, writes (20 February 2008):
 Hunny I really feel for you. I think your girlfriend is wrong, but you have to respect her. Don’t take this so personally, its all about her past bad experiences, and maybe it will take time for her to come around to pleasing you the way you deserve.
I cannot agree with her because I have always considered oral a very important part of sex. In fact just oral alone is sex (whatever Clinton says). In a lot of ways oral is more deeply passionate and personal then merely just fucking. If I have sex with a guy its oral and then the other stuff…or its just oral. You can have sex without the oral, but with oral its more complete…and just more satisfying.
Her experience with other guys has been really negative. Maybe they smelled bad, their cum had a bad taste…maybe she didn’t like the way they treated her and the oral was connected with a bad emotional thing with them. How can you change this prejudice?...maybe you never can. But I can give you a few tips.
For one…you can make a difference in how your cum tastes in your diet. Coffee drinkers can have cum that taste a little sour…..while on the opposite end drinkers of juice like orange or pineapple juice can have a sweeter more pleasant taste. I personnaly know this because my boyfriends that ate healthy diets and drank sweeter juices did taste better… I’m sure you can research this more and find out what foods have a better effect on your cum’s taste.
Next, its should be obvious that you should always wash up and shower your cock…and with her especially before sex. If you want to use a touch of perfume down there it might help, but just being clean is more important. If you are uncircumcised its really important that you wash it under the helmet.
Using food is always a good way to make your dick taste good. Try using whip cream, chocolate syrup, maple syrup, wine or any other preferred liquor of her choice. There are flavored sex aids you can use too….do some homework and you can find these. Flavored condoms are good too.
Hunny, if you cant get her to do oral on you in whatever way, you just cant force it….be gentle, and do these things by suggesting them first….make her feel that she is always in control and not being forced to do this against her will. It a huge turn off for a girl when she feels pressured into doing certain sex acts…so just be careful you don’t push it too much. You want her to love you….not hate you for wanting her to do oral.
But honestly hun, if you can never get her to do this for you, you may want to break up with her…..From my own personal view, if my guy didn’t do oral for me he wouldn’t be my guy for long. So I can see how this is hard for you. Anyone who tell’s you to just accept it is trying to tell you to deny a part of sex that’s so important. I think there are plenty of girls that would love to be with you in a very complete sense that also includes oral. You don’t have to stay with this girl, if you and she are not compatible. She needs a guy that doesn’t need to have oral. Maybe you aren’t so good for each other. Think about that….But try out some of my suggestions first. Good luck hun.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2008): Have a talk and ask why, semi sort of demand why, be sure it's not a hygiene issue, it's not. If you perform oral on her stop immediately saying it doesn't seem fair. Offer to work out whatever issues she has but tell her this is really important to you it's something you need. If she still refuses leave. You're the same guy who asked this question before and you want this and there are many women who don't mind doing this. Quite frankly as a female myself, I can understand why a man is bothered by the admission she's done it before. I've lied when I just didn't want to do it in certain relationships. I reserve this for special relationships. I've said things like, "Oh I just don't do that and I don't accept oral performed on me," unless the guy insist and sometimes they do when I know I won't return the favor. I can imagine what you're thinking she's probably sucked off a dozen guys but suddenly you're the exception. I like all kinds of guys. I love bad boys and I lived with a man before where I could never say "No" it was crazy and now I'm with this other nice guy and I haven't sexed him in six months talking about hormones and lack of interest. My ex before him would have never bought that shit and I wouldn't have been so quick to try it. I just want to be honest with you so you can be sure you consider her, her feelings, her reasons, but you have to get yours, you have to be happy, and if you're the nice guy getting duped, then you have to get smart!
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reader, hlskitten +, writes (19 February 2008):
 You're taking it too personal.
She doesnt want to. Thats her perogative. End of. Get used to it, or move on.
Balls in your court ultimately hun. Depends how much it means to you!
C xxxxxx
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female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (19 February 2008):
 She may have had bad experiences in the past going down on a man and is traumatised by it. I think you are being selfish, by giving her conditions like, if she cared for me or she may find me unattractive. This has absolutely nothing to do with either, so stop badgering the poor girl into doing something thst she is not comfortable with.
There are other ways to pleasure each other in bed, without going down on each other. Even men find it disgusting going down on a woman too. Fallatio and cunnilingus is not everyones cup of tea,and pressurising her is not going to help either.
I personally think you guys should communicate about your likes and dislikes in the bed room and also take time out to listen to each other. Dusky xxx.
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (19 February 2008):
 I agree with the other posters, but I also think instead of trying to pry her reasons from her, maybe calmly tell her why you're bothered by this.
With that being said. Remember it's all her decision. When it comes to what she performs on you, that's up to her. If this is something she really doens't enjoy, if you love her, you won't try to get her to do something that she doesn't like doing. Trying to get her too is shallow and self gratifying. If you love someone, you want them to have before you take.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2008): hey
there are many reasons to why she does not want 2 go down on you, she may have been abused in her past relationships and forced to do something she did not want to do and had a very unpleasent experience
talk to her about it but do not force her
you will talk it through and listen to her and accept her decisions if you love value and respect her
good luck-lots of love
hannah xxxxxxx
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female
reader, hello1 +, writes (19 February 2008):
 I read this question before. If this is the same bloke, just dump the girl and let her out of her misery. Your obviously very shallow
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male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (19 February 2008):
 Although much more acceptable as a sexual activity than it was a decade or two ago, fellatio is an activity that some women enjoy very much, some perform mainly to please her man, and some do not enjoy at all. Men should be willing to accept her preference regarding this activity, but it is or should be a two-way street.
Her past experience may have included any number of unpleasant results. Some men's semen tastes terrible, I have been told. This may be a result of his diet and other intake, such as heavy smoking, too much alcohol and other things. His semen is like an essence of the man. The old adage that "we are what we eat" applies here, and includes other consumption. Based on more than 30 years of experience with present and past girlfriends and wives, I'm told that substantial intake of fruit, sugar and fruit juices renders a sweeter flavor to sperm and semen. In most any case, I'm told it is quite salty,
sometimes to an extreme.
Other past experiences she may have encountered could include gagging or choking due to a boyfriend who forced himself into to her, inconsiderate of her comfort or desire. Some may like that, but I would think that deep-throating would be unpleasant for many women. In any case, your girlfriend would seem to be one who did not enjoy past experiences, or indeed, she may care a bit less about pleasing you. That's for you to determine.
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reader, MissKin +, writes (19 February 2008):
 you should respect her decision to not do it. If she's not comfortable doing it now, she never was - which means she's respecting herseld enough to tell you that she's uncomfortable with it instead of letting herself be forced into it. I think you should be mature and understand that with or without significant reasoning, if she doesn't want to do it that's all there is to it.
It's really not likely to be because she's not attracted to you, i'm sure she is. this certainly doesn't show that she isn't.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2008): you can't force her into it and i sincerely hope you don't intend to (mentally or physically!)
isnt it enough that she just doesnt want to do it?
if you feel you really do need answers then let her know that you dont mind the fact that she doesnt want to do it and then talk about it.
she wont tell yu at the moment cos she is scared of your negative reaction when she explains that and why she cant suck cock
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2008): sounds to me like she has told you her answer she thinks it's disgusting.do you do oral on her?if so then i must say that this is a little unfair on your part but still no reason to make a huge deal about it stop doing oral on her and she how she feels about it.if you dont do it to her then you really shouldnt have a problem with her not doing it to you. good luck
-michael
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2008): She might have had a bad experience before.I know a girl whose boyfriend kept pushing her head down when she was giving him a blow job and she had trouble breathing. It put her off for ages.
Gently ask her what the problem is. If it's the taste she doesn't like, try some flavoured condoms.
Maybe you could offer to return the favour if she goes down on you? That might work!
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2008): to be honest i have always said that i would rather lick a tiolet seet than suck dick, givin someone head is discustin (my point of view) he pees out of it, does things with it, it goes inside people, then you expect someone to stick their mouth around it lol, but you cant make someone do something they feel uncomfortable doin. maybe she has reasons in mind but feels embarrassed to share. just dont force her to do anything she doesnt wanna do.
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