A
male
age
41-50,
*irk
writes:i was going out with a girl for 6 years up until last may when she traveled to Australia for 7 months. everything was fine before she left in that we promised to stay together etc, loved each other etc. while she was traveling she met another guy and stopped calling and texting me as much. i knew she was seeing him thanks to facebook. when we did talk i told her how much i loved her and that i couldn't wait for her to come home. she couldn't say she loved me back and began pointing out all the negative aspects that had been in our relationship. she's now back home nearly a month and i've only seen her for 45 mins. she states that she doesn't want to be in a relationship at the moment and has sworn that she is not seeing the guy she was involved with and traveling with. i've been trying really hard to get her out of my head and have been with countless women while she was away and now back but none compare to her and i'm cracking up thinking about her. everything reminds me of her. it was my birthday a few days ago and she text me a happy b-day and said she'd take me for a drink in the new year. i don't know what to be thinking or how to approach her as i don't want to seem desperate on one hand and on the other i don't want to feel rejected. What should I do?
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female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (5 January 2010):
 It sounds like you both agreed to see other people during the 7 months she was gone. She became involved with someone, you apparently slept your way through 7 months of different women. In my opinion neither one of you should be in an exclusive relationship right now so why are you crying over spilled milk? Move on I think the whole thing is over. Something changed.
A
female
reader, crazy08  +, writes (5 January 2010):
As i have read your situation, I would say that your ex already moved on,,she's been away from you for months and it seems she's having second thoughts about your relationship while she was there,,you also said that she's seeing another man before despite you promised each other to be oe lovers still when she comes back,,she broke her promise,,it's time for you to move on if i were in your situation,,the girl seems doesn't want having relationship to you anymore and never insist yourself to a woman showing negatives to you,,believe me,,and if you really feel hopeless for her then it's time to find better one,,if you were meant to be destiny will find ways,,goodluck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010): It's over.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (4 January 2010):
The fact is she left to go travelling, promised you'd be together then promptly found someone else. So she broke her promise. You can't trust her, and it just sounds like she's moved on. I think you should too.
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A
female
reader, marder  +, writes (4 January 2010):
 I think you should try to move on. She clearly doesn't want to be in a relationship with you, and I think you will get hurt if you still believe that there might be a chance. Sometimes when we have meaningful relationships with people, it can take a long time for us to heal... that might be why everything reminds you of her. Move on.... and good luck!
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A
female
reader, Cosy +, writes (4 January 2010):
this is a really unfortunate situation for you, and as much as you want to hate her she probably had some of those 'changing' experiences. Evidently it's good to try to move on, but it probably won;t happen for a while. and she may crawl to you soon needing help/support/to check she was right. (when she lands on earth after being in travel land)
You;re best bet, I always think, Is (if you;re brave) a phone call to ask if she wants to catch up at all. If this isnt approraite a 'how about new years drink?' text, depending on how likely you think she is to reply. But do wait a week or so, for both of your sakes.
If however you think rejection is the only way it will go, perhaps it's best to leave it for a while, nothing is worse than if she doesn't think YOU are the coolest-most chilled-busy person ever. really! Thats def the best thing to aim for..
good luck!
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