A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:The other day my girlfriend and I were together, and we were happy and flirty as usual. Then she brought up that I was the best kisser out of any of the boyfriends she has had. Then she asked how she was, and when I thought about it in my head, I was actually comparing her to all of my other girlfriends and thought that she was probably 2nd best, but for some reason I told her that she wasn't the worst. When I said that, she suddenly freaked out and wouldn't kiss me anymore, acted very stand offish, and was pissed with me for the whole night. Since then we've hung out a couple times and things were fine, but whenever something came up she'd take a stab at me by saying "well, you're not the worst." when it came to almost anything. I've apologized countless times. I called her on the phone a bit ago and tried to talk to her about it but she just said I don't know and that she couldn't talk on the phone right now, so she got off. I just don't quite know how to make this right? It's the first time we've ever really gotten in a fight and I'm not sure how to approach it. I did not intend to piss her off or hurt her obviously, but that's the effect my words ended up having on her.
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female
reader, Battista  +, writes (12 January 2011):
Sadly when girls- and it usually is girls- ask this sort of question they are seeking only one answer- that they are the best you've ever had at whatever is the subject in hand, regardless of whether it is true or not. You gave an honest answer and she was not happy because it didn't fit in with her little game so decided to take it as a personal insult.
I hate this sort of behaviour. It's immature, and it's also unreasonable. If you ask a question like that you should be prepared to an answer you might not like, and if you get one it doesn't give you the right to go off in a sulk. It's just so childish.
If you want to go after your gf then just try being nice to her, but please don't go over the top because as far as I can see she got what she deserved and is massively over-reacting. This might be an important lesson in love for her. You, I'm afraid, have also been given an important lesson in how girl's minds work, and will most likely give a more diplomatic answer next time she asks you a silly question like this.
A
female
reader, smiliek  +, writes (12 January 2011):
 one of those times when really if she wanted to truth she simply shouldn't of asked the question. But yeah i guess she was chasing reassurance. Oops. She'll get over it eventually
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2011): Talk to her about it. Convince her you were just joking.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-girlfriend-told-me-i-was-the-best.html
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2011): It's a misundertanding. It happens to all of us.
I have accidently called out the name of another man during sex (My mind was preoccupied and I was in fact supposed to be calling him for work when my boyfriend wanted sex. That didn't go over well and he was suspicious...but people do get over these things.
Sometimes compliments are hard to respond to gracefully and you end up saying things like that. It will blow over. Since it's early in the relationship, she may just be a little tentative and wary. Try to overlook it. The resentment will fade if you stick around.
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A
male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (12 January 2011):
Yeah its just a slip of tongue. It happens all the time and she needs to be less sensitive to pointless things such as that. She'll get over it eventually. Its good that you realize it was a mistake and have apologized for it. If she doesn't let it go then it may become a problem for her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2011): She's being melodramatic give her a bit of time.
It is funny though man, you'll look back on this and laugh.
FYI: When women ask you questions about how pretty/sexy/good at kissing they are compared to your exes, they are ALWAYS the best, okay dude? Always. You see girls that don't care about those kind of things don't ask, girls that do ask give a huge crap, no matter how casual they act. So you always say they're the best, always.
Let me tell you a secret that every honest woman will admit. There are times when women want you to lie to them, they're not looking for honesty they're looking for reassurance. You've just learned one of those times, another is the "am I fat?" question. The answer is always no. How does my hair look? Awesome. *Dressed and made up* My god you look amazing. Are you getting the idea?
You need to get rid of his whole idea you have of being completely honest, regardless of conventional thinking relationships are built on these little white lies just as much as they are on honesty. You see even if a woman knows you just lied about her hair looking great (even though she looks like she modeled her hairstyle on that of a 70 year old bag ladies hair) They'll appreciate that you were willing to lie to make them feel good.
Remember one of the most important aspects of being in a relationship is the willingness to lie to your partner to protect their feelings or to make them feel good. I know it sounds illogical but ask any woman, if the truth will only hurt them then they don't really want to hear it. (When it comes to things like this, obviously the big things don't apply to this.
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A
female
reader, curls-n-pearls +, writes (11 January 2011):
 Oops!
All you can do is apologise, tell her you love her kisses.
That response was probably just a bit of panic.
She'll get over it eventually - just reassure her :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2011): Hmm...well, that wasn't really such a nice thing to say considering you thought about it and then said she wasn't the worse. Come on now, you know what you did and yet you don't know what else to do? Of course she's upset. You should not have said that, instead, you should have lied. She wasn't actually asking you where she stood as far as kissing goes. You have to go beyond that and play the little game she's playing which is "Am I the best ever"? You're suppose to say "You are the best kisser ever". So what to do....you apologize, wait on her hands and feet, woo her, buy her flowers, open doors for her, tell her she's beautiful, tell her I love you....basically, make her feel like she's the best one ever for you. That's what she wants.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (11 January 2011):
 LMAO!!! Sorry to laugh about your problem, but this reminded me of something I did once. One time I noticed a female friend had gotten a haircut. The night before she was talking about needing a haircut and saying she was just going to cut it herself. So I said, "I like your haircut, did you do it yourself?" Innocent, or so I thought! LOL That was 4 years ago and I have never lived it down. It's a fun joke now.
Give her some time. Apologize again and get her something fun like some hershey's kisses or something like that. Make a joke about it and tell her you were stupid, but you want her to know you love kissing her, because you love her. She'll get over it, but you'll probably never live that one down.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2011): You can't have meant to offend her, I guess it depends on how she took it, but perhaps show her that she means a lot to you and make up for it, invite her out for a meal to apologize or if its too expensive then have a night in, maybe even write a letter although that might depend on if she is the kind of girl that likes romantic, or of course if you are comfortable with it. She might appreciate you doing something just to show her that she is the best in many other ways, if she brings it up just mention that it doesn't matter what you said about that because she is certainly the funniest/cutest/etc?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2011): Oh dear. Well, it's not like you intended to offend her but i can understand how she got offended.
All you can do is keep apologising when she mentions it or change the subject. She'll get over it eventually but in future i would seriously think before speaking next time.
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