A
male
age
30-35,
*asd
writes:Well this is a kind of weird one I guess, it affects me a lot actually, and I want to know how to improve on it.My girlfriend said to me a while ago that I am too emotional and she doesn't like that, and I can't help but think if I don't change that she is going to leave me because of it, so what I wondering if any people who will read this, if any, if you had any advice on how to change being too emotional. Thanks for reading and looking forward to reading your advice :D Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Dasd +, writes (12 July 2011):
Dasd is verified as being by the original poster of the questionahh fair enough, I haven't been on this that long, I first signed up about 4 months ago :), and I have to say, I won't go anywhere else for advice, cause the people on here, are without a doubt better than anywhere else I can go for advice and the advice you just gave me there is no exception, it is just fantastic, I will remember everything you said and I will still be emotional, but as you said I will try not to cry when she cries, and just listen to her and try to make her feel better :), so I cannot thank you enough for time you have taken to give me this advice :D.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (12 July 2011):
 Hey, don't force yourself to shut up! I've been Cupid-ing a long, long time and will tell you that followups are GREAT! Don't hold back more information (though brevity is also appreciated... some people go on for pages. Like me).
I'll tell you one thing, I have a husband who gets really upset when I'm really upset. And it drives me absolutely freakin' crazy. Because then I feel like I need to fix him and make him feel better, when I'm the one who was originally upset. Sometimes if she's crying, it is best to just be there, stay strong, really listen and don't feel the need to fix the problem instantly. Sometimes responding to tears with tears just makes the situation all the more frustrating.
Again, don't stop being emotional. And if you can't help crying when she's crying, that's okay - but tell her and be firm about the fact that tears just happen for you, not to worry about it and let's concentrate on her and what's going on there. For us, it can seem like you're turning it around or manipulating the situation so that it's all about you. That is just what can be PERCEIVED, not necessarily what is reality or your intention at all!!
Trust me, I'm a crier too, especially with teachers (isn't that weird??). I've learned this about myself over the years and now when I go in to talk to my professors, I'll say straight off, "Professor, I'm a crier. I'm not sure why, but it just happens. Please don't take these tears too seriously, they just happen to me. So don't worry about it". And then they're armed and ready for any tears that follow. With teachers, they will definitely think you're manipulating them if you go into their office and bawl.
Anyway, now I'm going to force myself to shut up!
Good luck, sweet thing!
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A
male
reader, Dasd +, writes (11 July 2011):
Dasd is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwow, that was quite in-depth, thank you TasteofIndia, for that and I will memorize that awesome advice, the thing is I know she wouldn't leave me for it, that I am certain of :), just some things I am too emotional about like if I see her crying then I will cry and vice versa, but only if it is a really emotional situation. I thank you for the time in reading my post :D, almost no words can display my appreciation :p hahaha I will shut up now haha
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (11 July 2011):
I think you stressing out about her leaving you is not going to help! Maybe this sort of paranoia is part of the reason why she's frustrated. I would just try to live in the moment. You don't need to stop having emotions and become some cold, unfeeling drone, but you can calm down this desperate feeling of dread that she's going to leave you, because that will only lead to over-analyzing moments, being overly sensitive to little things that may just be part of the natural ebb and flow of a relationship.
Don't let her squash the fact that you're an emotional guy... but if you're so emotional that it's intruding on your ability to normally and comfortably socially function, then perhaps you should take a look inside and see what are some things that you may be over-reacting to or get overwhelming emotional feelings about. Then come back to Dear Cupid and ask how you can deal with some of those situations!
Good luck, my dear!
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A
male
reader, Dasd +, writes (11 July 2011):
Dasd is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks :D, I really appreciate that :D, and I believe that she is the one for me, but I don't think she will leave me for being too emotional, I just wanted to see if I could calm that down, thank you I won't think about it much, and yes this helps quite a lot.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (11 July 2011):
 Why should you? You can't help feeling what you feel and its wrong to ask someone to. Is this girl really worth changing for? Its a part of who you are and if she doesn't like it then why is she with you now? More importantly, why are you with her?
You don't have to change that part of you. If she wants to leave you because of that simple fact then, why should you care? She obviously isn't the girl for you. But she's with you now so, that's a good sign isn't it? Don't think about it too much, just concentrate on being a good boyfriend.
I hope that helps.
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