A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am in a relationship with this girl for the last 5 years . We graduated from the same university but she was one year junior to me. She is pretty and loving girl . She is from middle class and I am from extremely rich family. She has a good job and I am taking care of my Dad’s business . Though, I can see my parents are not easy with me being with her since they think I should marry their rich family friend's daughter but I don’t believe in classification of human being on wealth. Everyone says I have beautiful mind which can come up with great ideas for anything anytime and some of these ideas are being implemented practically. I just want to hear my girlfriend saying that I am Genius whenever she hears my ideas but she just says it’s good and it doesn’t make feel me happy. Maybe I am getting it wrong but don’t you people think she might be jealous of my creative mind? What should I do to make her say this? Or I am reading too much into this? Hope to have you guys helping me on this. Thanks!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2011): So your issue is that you want your girlfriend to spoil you and revere your talents through her words to you, yet to build up to that issue, you felt the need to mention the class difference between you both and the fact that your parents would prefer to see you with a girl of your own "status." Not quite sure what one thing has to do with the other...Therefore, my guess is that the real issue is that you are letting your family's opinion manipulate your own opinion of this woman. Just because she doesn't speak or react to your ideas in a grandeur and revering manner doesn't mean she doesn't think you are awesome. Everybody is different and everybody reacts to things differently. If you love this woman, you have to stop comparing her to your family. You have to accept her for who she is. If you can't do that then you don't deserve her.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2011): Hioften a Genious is not aware of even been one...often on the edge of been nuts some would say...or excentric again not an awareness of this.You may well have a beautiful creative mind..however many creative minds are very 'alone' in their creativity. Why do you have that need to be called a Genious? i think it is alot to ask anyone to call you.You say your ideas are in the process of been implimented practically right now....creative....have you done this completely on your OWN? this does make a difference for example: I too am very very creative covering all the arts...i had a newspaper come to me unknown wanting to do an article on my ctreative venture...''On a wing and a Prayer was created with just three pounds in her pocket'' the fact that i had achieved something against the odds with no financial backup or support network etc...it got the merit. Do you see what i am trying to say...I hope if you are this talented creative individual as you say...that you stride out more on your own to explore and make mistakes...if things are too easy how can merit be given?Good Luck and remember my creative venture was and is 'on a wing and a prayer' spunky monkey
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (6 November 2011):
 I agree with Chigirl and CindyCares.
"I just want to hear my girlfriend saying that I am Genius whenever she hears my ideas but she just says it’s good and it doesn’t make feel me happy."
I"m going to assume that there is some language barrier here because to be honest if i was with a man that NEEDED to hear me stroke his ego this deeply I'd be leaving. COME ON... you want her to tell you you are a genius... and although she compliments you and says it's good that's NOT good enough for you...
Seriously? I could see you being upset if you came up with actually great ideas and she ignored them but you come up with IDEAS and she says they are good and that's NOT good enough praise for you?
Sorry but you need way too much ego stroking if that's the case....
"Maybe I am getting it wrong but don’t you people think she might be jealous of my creative mind?"
Yes you are getting it wrong... she is not jealous of your creative mind.
"What should I do to make her say this?"
well you could tell her that you NEED her to stroke your ego and tell her how great and creative a genius you are
but be prepared for several reactions
1. she could laugh in your face
2. she could tell you that in all honesty she doesn't see you as that great of a mind
3.l she could leave you because you are so needy.
In all honesty, class does not matter, money does not matter, race does not matter, compatibility in life matter:
how you live day to day matters
how much sex and affection you want matters
what you like to do (indoor board gaming people do not mesh well with people that want to be out and about hiking or camping most of the time)
how you manage money matters
how you feel about raising children matters
are you compatible in what interests you.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (6 November 2011):
 Why do you think she is jealous? It sounds like maybe you are too used to being pampered and having people suck up to you because of the money in your family, high position etc. You have grown into believing that you are in fact better than others. If not richer, then smarter. So when your girlfriend doesn't stroke your ego, you think she is jealous?
Or maybe you just aren't that amazing? Or maybe she does think you have nice ideas, but instead of sucking up to you she stays real with you?
I know what it's like to have a partner look up to you, admire you, kiss the ground you walk on and suck up to you, praise you over your head and think you are the smartest and most amazing being on earth. And know what? It doesn't do you any good to have a worshipper who places you on a pedestal. Do you want GROUPIES, or do you want a RELATIONSHIP? Ask yourself that question, and then distinguish what are the differences between a groupie and a girlfriend.
I for one would much rather be in a relationship with someone who sees me as their equal, than someone who sees me as above them.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (6 November 2011):
 I think maybe you are insecure and you are the first to doubt about your brilliance and talent, because it's such a big deal for you to have it praised.
Real talent, real genius.... does not give a damn. If you KNOW you are exceptional, you just know it, you don't need to have other people applaude you. If they do is nice, if the don't, no problem.
Also you say you have brilliant ideas that COULD be implemennted. Maybe they could,- or maybe not. But until you translate your ideas into being, you are no better than your gf or anybody else. Everybody has flashes of inspiration, everybody has a great painting or a best selling novel or a fantastic money making venture or a perfect political program stored away in their brain. The difference stays in actually making it come to life !
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A
male
reader, MikeEa1  +, writes (6 November 2011):
 I don't think she is jealous of your creative mind from what you say, but you may have more evidence. because of money your values and hers are a little different. you are in a position where you can afford failure if it happens. she is not. this means her reaction to your ideas are tempered by realism to a much greater extent than yours. thats not true actually. your realism is that you can afford to make mistakes and hers is that she can't. no offense to either of you but this is partly a reaction to a differnce in class culture.
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A
female
reader, kendra30752richardz +, writes (6 November 2011):
 "What should I do to MAKE her say this?" Well, now that stood out to me. You shouldn't do anything to make or maniplulate her into saying it. I don't know much about your relationship, but it doesn't sound like she's got a problem. Maybe you are just used to people praising you a lot? I certainly don't mean that to sound rude and hope that it didn't. But you may want to consider it. How does she act when you are on the subject or when you're talking about something that you're really smart at? It's very possible to be jealous of your S/O's intelligence. It happens and it's something that usually fades with little problem unless there's some kind of underlying issue or extreme insecurity with something. Maybe she's had something related to this happen in her past that's left her hurt? Or maybe it's just a case of you have to give to get! Do you compliment her? How often do you think she's beautiful and tell her that? If you want her to compliment you on what you're good at you cannot force her to. You want her to tell you you're good because she thinks that, not because you put her in a corner to say it. My partner and I have been together for 5 years and I think he's HIGHLY intelligent. So much so that I have felt less than smart at times! He's a darn genuis at math and at SO many things and I'm good at writing, english, talking, etc. I think sometimes you just have to realize you both are wonderful, but at different things. Most importantly, don't make her feel that she has to compete with you on what you have and what she doesn't.DO YOU think you're "better than her". You say your family sees her as less than you in a way. Are you sure you see her as your equal? Just some things to think about.
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