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My friends make fun of my bf b/c he's a bit overweight and not incredibly attractive. But he's a lovely guy!

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 January 2007) 10 Answers - (Newest, 18 January 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

i have just started dating a guy who i really like.my friends make fun of him though because he is a little overweight and not the most attractive guy.these comments that my friends are saying really hurt me because he is such a lovely guy and they are only judging him on his appearence.how can i make my friends stop these nasty comments?

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A female reader, appygal81 United States +, writes (18 January 2007):

appygal81 agony auntHey girl,

i just say that "if your friends jumped off a clif and told you to jump too, would you do it" no i am sure anyone in their right mind would not. Stick to your guns, and do what makes YOU happy and not what everyone else wants to amke themselves happy....a little too much peer pressure from your friends and i hate to say, but sometimes people that call themselves your "friends" may not be friends if they are trying to make you do what makes THEM happy....see my point?

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A female reader, cd206 United Kingdom +, writes (12 January 2007):

cd206 agony auntYou could try asking them to stop taking the mick out of your boyfriend. Explain how much their comments hurt you and how if they knew him they'd understand just why you like him so much. It's worth a try! And stick by your man. I know it's hard not to be swayed by your friends because their opinions matter more than anyone elses but regardless of his weight or his looks it sounds like you've got a good catch there. Hope this helps.

CD

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2007):

Aside from the obvious points as everyone has mentioned here over and over again, if you have such a huge influence from your friends on who you should date and how you should dress and what you should do with your life, then hell, listen to them. Trust me when I say that for someone who actually cares so much about what others have to say and influence them so much that they come here asking for advice on what to do, the more prudent choice is to NOT go with your heart and go with what others want you to do.

Of course, if you're strong enough emotionally and mentally, then you can take Anon Poster #1's advice and gather a group together and see how much he can shine. However, if your bf doesn't really connect with your friends, it could well do with your friends' biased views towards him.

Either or, ultimately, you're the one dating him and no one else. Since I don't know you and I don't owe you favors, I'll say that your friends are a bunch of jerks. I suggest you reconsider your closeness to them.

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A female reader, Darlene United States +, writes (12 January 2007):

Darlene agony auntmaybe you need some new friends.out in the real world looks can be decieving.buttholes come in all shapes and sizes.but if you find a guy you care about and he cares

about you that's really what matters.you can loose weight

and even change your looks.but a good looking butthole isn't likely to change.if you have a good guy on the

inside he sounds like a keeper.don't worry about what

peolpe say.maybe they wish they had what you have found.

instead of the good looking mr butthole they've got.

good luck

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom +, writes (11 January 2007):

kenny agony auntI think your friends are being really out of order. They are judging him on what he looks like, have they even attempted to get to know him?.

You can't ignor these comments, but after time it will stop when they get fed up, and find something else to laugh at.

The only thing that matters is that you are happy with your boyfriend, it dosen't matter what anyone else thinks atal.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Good luck xx

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A male reader, Abacadaba United Kingdom +, writes (11 January 2007):

Abacadaba agony auntwhat would be the point in buying a great looking car if it drove like a bean can?

ignore your friends, let them make fun, when they get stuck with a good looking guy who is a total moron, maybe they will see different. At the end of the day, if they wanna make fun, let them, dont let it bother you, they are the ones making fools of themselves, dont let them think it botheres you and they will get bored.

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (11 January 2007):

TasteofIndia agony auntYou know what? Your friends are being pretty cruel. They probably are just trying to be funny, but they're really hurting you and THAT is not good friendship.

You need to tell them that you really like this guy and that to you, he is attractive. Tell them that everytime they say something mean about him, it really hurts your feelings and that it's important to you that they treat him nicely. Tell them why you're dating him, what makes him such a great guy.

I would make sure they they don't say anything in front of your boyfriend, because that could REALLY hurt him. Make sure he knows how much you adore him.

You sound like a good girlfriend and like you have some friends who are being sort of jerky right now. Let them know that they're really letting you down right now.

Good luck, sweetness.

xxIndia

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2007):

hii......

tell ure friends that you dont like their comments and that you dont think you can be friends if this kind of behivouhr keeps happening

I HOPE I HAVE BEEN HELPFUL

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A female reader, sweety_246 +, writes (11 January 2007):

Honestly, you shouldn't care about what other people's opinions are. What matters is what YOU think. Tell them that you don't like it when they make fun of him. Tell them why you think he's a great guy. Though, honestly who cares about what they think?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2007):

Wow. Sounds like your friends are acting incredibly shallow. Try having a group get together and showing these friends what you alresdy know. That beauty is only skin deep and that your happiness is the important thing. If he is as great as you say, they will understand once they see.

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