A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a friend who lies about basically everything. She even made up a rumour about one of our other friends having a backstreet abortion. To be honest I think that's sick. She's aparently been pregnant twice, once she had an abortion (she would have been 11 or 12 at the time...) and the other turned out to be an ulcer... yeah right.. This would mean that she would have lost her virginity at around 12 years old which is extremley unbelievable. she had a boyfriend hu was much older than her, and i'm pritty sure she sed she slept with him. When a couple of my friends went with her to meet him, he didn't turn up. She said that he lived at a certain pub but my friend knows the owners, therefore knowing that they didn't have a 16 or 17 year old son. He ended up moving to spain with his girlfriend nd three kids. On the day he died his fourth child died of cot death in the morning, then he died after, of cancer. He left the three kids to her, as the mother conveniently disappeared. She put the two older kids in care in Spain, the youngest was under a year old and aparently cant legally go into care in spain. Well that's all lies... Obviously. Her step-dad is the same the person as her biological father. She said that the dad we met in mcdonalds was her real dad, who moved to Germany, but when I went to her house, the same man was sitting on her sofa, being refered to as her step-dad by her. She is aparently forced to call him dad. There is loads of other lies shes told us all separately but I think the ones I'v just said are enough to show how sick some of the stuff that comes out of her mouth is. We love her loads but it's so hard to be her friend when she say's things like this to us. It's got to the point where we can't handle her crap. How do we confront her? Please help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHeyyy. We confronted the friend again and she ignored it... Me and a friend spoke to our tutor about it and she said that she may have a word with her... Thanks for all your help! xo
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (21 December 2007):
 And one last thought, I read an article that said, men tend to keep a flawed relationship and ignore the behavior, women tend to dump the friend because they don't like confrontations.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (21 December 2007):
rcn had a good answer!
You know, it is possible to hang out with someone whose personality does have flaws. I have always told my kids that once your friend does something wrong, like borrow money and not repay them, then you continue the friendship without loaning money to them. You could simply not believe her tall tales or lies and take the things that she says with a grain of salt. I know that my brother has had a lifelong friend who he can't trust, doesn't loan money to and never believes, and he's been his best man THREE times! lol.
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A
female
reader, hello1 +, writes (21 December 2007):
 I had a freind like this! my 'freind' said she had cancer and had an operation to remove it, sick I know. These peop;e do it for attention and need help. If I was you I'd confront her about it then ditch her
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all of you who replied to my answer. I will talk over all your suggestions with my other two friends so we can decide how to go forward with confronting her. Thanks again x
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (21 December 2007):
 This sounds like Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) . People who suffer from this disorder tell some big lies about their life. They do so to fill a much needed void or to cope with pain caused by early childhood abuse. They don't feel good about themselves, so how could you like who they are? With those thoughts, if she feels as if she's not good enough, then she'll seek approval by redeveloping who she is, which in turn boosts her sense of self.
The problem with this disorder is it has a very low success rate in treatment. When you confront her, do it lightly with caution. They may become angry with being confronted because if it comes out their not believed, now they have to be themselves which they don't feel as if they can be liked being themselves or they wouldn't have told these lies in the first place.
I hope this helps, take care.
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A
male
reader, leonard j, Douglas  +, writes (21 December 2007):
If she were a B/f you would no doubt dump him,so why not her?
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A
female
reader, xapathyxrebornx +, writes (21 December 2007):
 tbh hun birdynumnums had quite an awesome idea i agree witht aht method, it might be a good way to do it :) x
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (21 December 2007):
This is such a self-destructive pattern. It sounds like you have all been friends in the past but she has pushed you to the limit. You should have an intervention.
BEFORE YOU DO THIS, ASK YOUR MOM FOR ADVICE AND HELP, AND SHOW HER THIS SITE. ASK HER TO CALL THE OTHER GIRLS MOTHER AND TELL HER WHAT YOU GIRLS ARE GOING TO DO AND WHY.
Invite all of the people that have been lied to to your home. Ask her to come over a half hour later. Set rules for all of you, no matter how rotten she has been, don't be mean and don't be mad. When she arrives, all of you sit down together and repeat the lies that she has told you and the truth that you know. NO ONE should repeat hearsay, gossip or second-hand information to her. After you have all had your say, tell her that you want to stay friends, but anyone who hears a one more lie won't be speaking to her again. She might be very hurt and cry about this, but this is a habit that she needs to break now, before she becomes an adult.
PLEASE don't do this before the Moms or Mom and Dad (if she doesn't have a Mom) have agreed and think that this is a good idea.
It might be the wake-up call that you friend needs. Don't use this if you aren't pure of heart about this matter, if you only want revenge or vindication for some reason or you simply wish to prove yourself right. And please try to be true to your word, give her a second chance to redeem herself and prove that she can be trusted. As long as she is sincere and trying to change her ways, continue your friendships and make sure all of the people involved do not ostracize her after this, otherwise the whole thing would have only been a big trash-talking party.
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A
female
reader, x.BrokenxHearts.x +, writes (21 December 2007):
 Oh my god that reminds me of one of my old mates one the girl
Katie* she said she had her dad died and get alot of attention and sympathy from everyone until one day she said "sorry I can't come out I have to go out with my dad today" so we were all like yeah you told us he was dead.
She didn't respond very well and tried to make up a story that just made no sense what so ever anyway she was just doing it for attention obviously.
She also said she was pregnant and that she put the baby up for adoption well this was in the space of 6 weeks bit of a premature birth there don't you think!
She told me her mum was in hospital once in a coma and that she might not make it well funnily enough the next day I saw her in town shopping with her mom - Man she made a quick recovery!!
Basically she was just doing it for attention like your friend is.
I didn't put up with my mates lies for long and I don't think you should either.
Theres no need for it and to be honest it's really immature.
Obviously this girl leads a very boring life and needs some excitement in it so she just makes it up either that or she just likes making herself look like a complete prat.
She must realise how ridiculous all those stories shes telling are and that you aren't stupid enough to fall for them. If I was you i'd have it out with her.
Ask her how stupid she thinks you are?
See what she comes up with then.
x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2007): Just stop talking to her. That's what I did when I was in a similar situ. Eventually, when all her friends turn on her, she'll change her ways.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2007): Listen, tell her tat you don't believe her. Never go to her level and lie, just saying. I she still says all that ten tell her tat you want to meet whoever. when they don't show up prove her wrong. If that doesn't work ten just say that you believe her and she may stop bothering you.
P.S. I ope this helps I had o deal with this stuff too.
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