A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi all.. i got a small problem.. my friend hes male 22 lives at home and no job.. his mother is very controlling and christian too, she treats him like a 5 year old.. this is stressing him out he sleeps all the time and is getting very depressed im the only thing in his life that he trusts and makes him happy, but we arnt able to communicate all the time..i worry about him so much were emtionally attached and he asks me to leave him because i shouldnt need to deal with this, but i have told him im their for him and wont leave him..hes at his wits end.. he has no where to go and no money.. he feels like a prisoner..i want to help him but he feels so trapped.. any advice or helpfull suggetsions on what i coud do for him would be great i want to help him but i feel times wearing thin... thanks all xxxx
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female
reader, rammsteinfan  +, writes (21 February 2007):
 I think that your friend should start looking for work, so he can get on his own! Since he is 22, with no job and living at home, his mother is actually taking care of him! And you state that he sleeps all the time, he is probably not helping around the house. He needs to "grow up" and start thinking of his future. Because living at home at the age of 22 isn't doing him any good, and it is causing friction with all concerned!
If he is having trouble finding employment, maybe you can help him out by looking in the newspaper or checking around at various places (and get job applications while you are there). He can even start college for a start in a career. He can apply for a pell grant, which he doesn't have to pay back....as long as he keeps a c+ grade point. There is also services that he can look into to get him help
As long as he is under his mother's roof, the problem won't get any better. It is time for him to "cut the apron strings" and get going onto his future.
You said that you aren't able to communicate all the time. Buy him one of those inexpensive pay-as-you-go cell phone (at Wal Mart) for a gift. All you do is buy phone cards (they start at $10.00 and up) and give it to him. Some have where it don't ring, but vibrates (so his mother don't hear it) to keep in touch with him.
I hope that what I said will help you and your friend! I pray that it does! I care!
Hugs!!! :)
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (21 February 2007):
 Okay, I'm going to give it to you straight here! Your friend is spending far too much time in bed. He's lazy and should be kicked out of his bed to find a job rather than have his mother keeping him. She's probably at her wits end telling him to get up, tidy his room, look for a job, smarten himself up etc etc. I know exactly what she's going through, my own son was exactly the same a few years back.
He needs a wake up call, not sympathy from a smitten female. He has nowhere to go because he has no money! He's too lazy to get off his fat ass and make some! Don't fall for it, TELL HIM to get out there and get a career and change his life or he'll end up a total loser.
Eve
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A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (21 February 2007):
 Lets address all his problems first shall we...
If he is 'depressed' then this guy needs to go to his GP and be properly diagnosed. BUT, if he is rwacting to his situation (which I am pretty sure is the cause of this depression) then he needs to sort the SITUATION out.
*He has nowhere to go*, why is this? Does he have a job? Ah, you have already answered that yourself *he has no money*. Here is what I suggest he does. He gets a job and then he finds somewhere else to live. Because if he does that then his mother will have no say or chance to 'control' his life.
Youe BF sounds like the perfect 'victim'. I jsut bet each time you suuggest something that could help him he comes up with an excuse or reason why it won't work without even giving it a chance or having a try.....poor me, I can't......NO, it is poor me, I am rather enjoying this negative mind set because then everyone feels sorry for me and gives me attention!!
Look, this guy is even trying to push you away! And you are trying to help him. He does not want to helped honey.
Explain to me why you cannot communicate all the time?
Explain to me why he is 22. living at home and has no job?
Explain to me why you feel you have to 'save' this guy?
Explain to me why his mother's Christian faith has any relevance to how she treats him?
Please get back as I am interested to know more and see if I can help you in this situation.
xx
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A
female
reader, Beki +, writes (21 February 2007):
 Try and get him out of the hiouse as much as possible, help him find a job so he can move out. If he sits around and does nothing he's not going to get anywere try make him have some fun get him out of the slump.
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