A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i am 19 and i am enagaged i love my fiance but i find myself always making up excuses to not get physical. is like i am not sexually attracted to him as i was with my ex. i feel like i stil love my ex i think about him and i miss him. my fiance is a great guy and he is wonderful but the connection is not like it was with my ex. i dont know what to do and sometimes i feel like if i marry him i would cheat on him with my ex and this is weird because i am a faithful person and i never thought about cheating in my life. with my ex sex was amazing and with my fiance is not. what should i do?
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female
reader, lightningrod247 +, writes (3 March 2009):
First of all I am very sorry about all of this .. but in this case its probably better to let him go. if you are already having these doubts you will probably end up cheating or always wondering what if later on. Break it off before you get married.
A
male
reader, Tomas +, writes (3 March 2009):
The physical matters. And before you say you don't want to tell your fiance because you don't want to hurt him: few things in life can make someone feel more unloved than a partner who clearly does not want to be sexually intimate with you. Try looking up some questions here about just such issues. It's truly awful.
It's one thing to still have feelings for exes, or to recognize that no one person will be perfect in every way you would like.
But if you aren't sexually attracted to your boyfriend (and are only 19!), I would let him go. So, so much heartache lies down that path.
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A
female
reader, kissxmexagainx +, writes (3 March 2009):
 you shouldn't be with him then. If you don't feel sexually attracted to him && sex is not great, then you don't belong together. sex in a serious relationship should be amazing && you should feel this amazing connection [as you probably did with your ex]
can I ask, why aren't you with your ex now? it seems like you belong with him.
also, if you end things with your current fiancee, do it soon. the closer it gets to when you're going to marry him, the worse it will be for him.
I'm only 18, but I know a lot about relationships. I've had a rough past && was forced to grow up way too early. I hope my age doesn't make you not want to take my advice.
love,
Emily
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A
female
reader, kaylagal +, writes (3 March 2009):
 Clearly you're still in love with your ex and wasting this poor guy's time. Just imagine yourself in his position, would you want to be with someone who is still in love with their ex. Please do the right and let this guy go. Get back with your ex or get over your ex before moving on to the next guy. Don't mess this guy up for the next gal. Do the right thing. Good luck.
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