A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:He reached out to me after about 6 months of not speaking, during that time he was dating someone else. We ended up meeting up to talk, and we had great conversation. He apologized for things that wet wrong with us and opened up to me that "he just got out of the worst relationship of his life" that she was "awful" to him. I listened even though I cringed because I'm still in love with him and he knows it. We ended up sleeping together and had a great night. A few weeks later I find out they got back together. I was angry, so I confronted him that I was hurt and how dare he treat me like a booty call, he acted aloof. What kind of person treats someone like this?! If he was so miserable why back to her? I'm so confused and hurt. I thought he came back because he loved me. what does this all mean?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (20 September 2017):
 He went back to you because you where familiar to him and someone who he knew he would probably get sex with. I am sorry that he done this to you. Don't blame yourself or feel that you are old enough to know better we all make mistakes when we love and trust someone. Learn from it that he is no good for you and never allow contact with him again.
A
male
reader, BrownWolf +, writes (20 September 2017):
Your EX did not come back into your life...YOU let him in.
Never go backwards.
Life was just making sure you learn that lesson. Things did not work the first time. So...let's see if she has learned anything...NOPE!!
Guess what?? He will come back again...Just make sure.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (19 September 2017):
 Unluckily it means that you have been naive, and eager to see what you wanted to see.
" I thought that he came back because he loved me "- and where did you figure this our from ? from his going on and on , and pouring his heart out to you, about another woman ?
That would be inappropriate anyway, but knowing that you still had feelings for him , this type of talk was surely not very sensitive and respectful ? besides, if his mind is still so focused, for good or for bad, on the " ex " - it means is not focused enough on the current woman , i.e. you.
This had " comfort fuck " written all over in capital letters, too bad that you were too anxious to get him back and did not let him the time to prove through actions his supposedly retrieved " love " for you.
That's not to twist the knife in the wound, and anywyay, all's well that ends well. Now you know that he is not the kind of person you need to miss and to long for, and that he may have done you a big favour in letting you down this way- letting you free once for to mve on and forget about him.
Just saying that expectations are a tricky thing, often deceitful. Never assume anything about feelings, and
check them out in the light of the other party's persistence, consistence and effort, not in that of your wishful thinking.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2017): Thank you all for the responses, Yes I agree at my age I should know better, but I was with this man for years and never really experienced being used before, especially by a guy I thought I trusted. Now I know better. The truth hurts.
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A
female
reader, ALM12  +, writes (18 September 2017):
 EXes are EXes for a reason. An example of what not to get with ever again. Cut him out your life 100% this time. How dare he play mind games like that just to get in your panties!! He's a discrace.
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A
male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (18 September 2017):
He's a guy. At age 30-35 you should by now understand that most guys will have sex with you if you give them the opportunity. You should understand that he probably told the other girl that you were the worst relationship he's ever had. You should understand that you always make the guy prove-up on his claim that he's really left the other girl good before throwing your total self at him...this goes for an ex as well as a new guy.
He may be a jerk but you certainly gave him the opportunity to prove it. I hope you aren't pregnant. If not, this will be a lesson that at least doesn't drain your pocket book.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2017): This is exactly why I warn readers about recycling their exes. The second-breakup is even worse than the first; because it's like ripping the scab off a sore.
He knows you still have feelings; and you were just a pit stop while he mended things with his girlfriend. Some guys don't like dealing with their emotions when they get rejected; or have a falling-out with their wives and girlfriends. Some will go find the one woman they know who's feelings they can manipulate. At the same time, they can place their feelings on-holdl while using her for a painkiller.
His ego remains intact, he has done something spiteful in retribution against his current partner; and he has re-established the fact you're still yearning for him. He can delight in knowing he holds your feelings in his hands. Nothing makes an ex feel better than knowing you haven't moved on, and they still have control over you.
You've learned a valuable lesson. Leave exes in the past where they belong. Get-over them.
Breaking-up means completely severing ties, once and for all! Not putting your life on-hold, until he changes his mind and comes back!
The question is not why he would do something like this? It's why did you give him a chance to?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2017): I am sorry he did that to you, he is probably going back and forth between you and this other girl. It happened to me I know how painful it is. He will be sorry that he did this because what comes around goes back around. There is more to life than this guy. Do something that makes you happy. What I did was I got closer to God. It helped realize my worth and value.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (17 September 2017):
 You were his safety net, his plan B, his fall-back position. He knew you were still in love with him and, when the other relationship floundered, he needed someone to boost his ego, so came back to good old faithful you.
You are worth better than to be someone's plan B. Find someone who will treat you like you are the most important person in their life - which is no less than you deserve.
Draw a line under what you had and move on to something better.
Sending hugs and wishing you luck.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (17 September 2017):
 While I get you are hurt by his actions, at least you KNOW now to not waste any more time on this guy. And yes he DID use you as a rebound/booty call. But you two weren't "dating" per se again so it was a night of sex that didn't end the way you would have liked it (as in being back together).
Honestly? When I hear a guy talking so much smack about an ex I am always a bit doubtful of how much that is really the truth and how much it's "woe is me" attitude to try and make himself look like he needs a GOOD woman and that woman is you... Know what I mean?
CUT him off 100% - There was a good reason ( I presume) why you two broke up in the first place and a few apologies don't solve the underlying problem you two had.
So BLOCK, DELETE, REMOVE him from your life, social media etc.
LEAVE him in the past, don't waste time trying to figure out WHY he did what he did, but accept that you deserve so much better than how he has treated you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2017): "What kind of person treats someone like this?!"
A scumbag.
"If he was so miserable why back to her?"
A much more plausible scenario is that the new girlfriend dumped him (for good reason) but he eventually wore her down and managed to weasel his way back into her affections.
"I thought he came back because he loved me. what does this all mean?"
It means you're Plan B, the fallback girl. He knows you're still hung up on him and took shameless advantage by presuming that if he fed you a sob story you'd fall for it and hop right back into bed with him.
Not excusing him, but you need to be smarter. If an ex suddenly reappears after six months of silence with a woe-is-me tale, you should assume his motives are ulterior until proven otherwise.
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