A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:When I was in high school, I was so afraid of being bullied that I became a bully myself. I was a immature kid and the way I was thinking was completely wrong. About a year after I graduated, one of the kids that I bullied, Zach, died from a drug overdose. Looking back, he was a great kid and I actually think we would have been friends if I was not an idiot in high school (we both enjoyed the outdoors so that is why I think we could have been friends). A few weeks ago, I ran into his dad which led me to start thinking about Zach a lot. I do not know if his dad knows I was one of the students that bullied his son and I do not know if me bullying him help him get into drugs to begin with. So since running into his dad, I have been feeling really depress. Maybe I deserve to feel this way for how I treated him in high school. I am wondering if you could give me any advice on how I should handle one of my biggest regrets and the depression it is causing me?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (20 September 2017):
 If I am being honest I am struggling to have any sympathy for you, simply because I had a horrific time at national and secondary school getting bullied, and it has messed up my life. Kids can be so cruel and you will never no the damage that you caused that boy. I still wince when I think back to my childhood.
The best thing that you can do now is help other children who are getting bullied. It might not take away the guilt but at least you would be doing something positive.
A
male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (18 September 2017):
If he did this a year after graduation, you are probably a very small part of Zach's problems if a part at all. Kids who get bullied often get such treatment because they exhibit feelings of self inadequacy or a lack of self-respect. And bullies usually become bullies only when they have co-conspirators.
I would keep quiet about you're bullying him, especially in regard to his family, BUT...you will help yourself immensely if you go to some school principals, explain your situation, and offer to talk to the problem bullies in their school. You can relate your experience without giving names. You will not only gain a great deal of self-respect for doing this, but might very well make some great new friends in the process. You can do it in memory of Zach. I would do some research on causes of bullying and how to stop it before you do this. The principals can steer you in a good direction. In any case, it's nice to hear that you recognize a bad habit in your past and feel remorse for it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2017): You cannot change what happened. God would want you to move on and forgive yourself for what you have done. Who knows people do drugs for many reasons. Never blame your self, but feeling guilty will not change what happened cry if you need to but pick yourself up. It may even do good to help his dad out around the house.
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A
male
reader, Garbo +, writes (17 September 2017):
 I would try prayer. If you are Christian, there is an over-abundance of prayers to make amends, dealing with regret and atonement for past wrongs, exactly what you are looking for. I'd look into those for emotional help and stick with it those for long until your inner self comes to terms and find meaning of it all.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (17 September 2017):
 What a shame you did not have sufficient confidence to feel able to stand up to the bullies instead of becoming one to protect yourself. Sadly there is nothing you can do to change the past but you CAN change the future IF YOUR WANT TO.
You know from experience how the mind of a bully works, having been one yourself. You can put that to good use by helping victims who are currently suffering what Zach suffered back then.
Can you volunteer to help with any charities which support the victims of bullying? If you get in contact with them and tell them your story, they will be able to suggest ways in which you can make reparation for your past.
If you have kids yourself, or have influence over any (family perhaps), make sure you always tell them that bullying is wrong. Think of it as Zach's legacy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2017): You need to make amends
Volunteer at a bullying hotline or some other charity
You can't change the past
You don't know what was going on in his life tag made this happen.
Do not tell his family. They don't need things raked up
Do something positive. Give back to society
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