A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my partner for 7 years and thought evrything was great after being in a bad marriage. Tonight my 19year old daughter sent me a txt saying he tried to take a photo of her in the shower . When i challenged him about it he said he was sending me a txt at the time and as she hadn't locked the door he didnt realise she was in the bathroom and walk in with his phone. My daughter says he didnt walk in he put the phone around the bathroom door facing the mirror which looks into the shower cubicle. I dont know what to do and obviously want to believe both of them. He walked out saying I obviously was going to believe my daughter over him. I don't know what to do.Help
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2007): kick him out thats ur daughter u should beleive her x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2007): thanks everyone for your advice. Its obvious that I believe my daughter and now i know what I need to do. Seven years wasted its a hard thing to get through each day with. But life goes on.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2007): unless you have any reason to believe your daughter would make this up- she's always hated this man, made up things before etc.- then believe her over your partner definitely.
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A
female
reader, little miss helpful +, writes (5 October 2007):
 i think you should believe your daughter. She's your child, for goodness sake you don't pick a bloke over your own flesh and blood!!!!!!!!!when people text they normally don't hold their phone up. think of how you text, do you walk around wit your phone in the air?i think he has got something to hide if he stormed out saying that to you if he was innocent he would have stayed and sorted the situation out.if you belive him you could lose your daughter for good.be careful of your desision. I'd go with your instinct, but I personally think hes lying. x x x
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A
female
reader, Lila  +, writes (5 October 2007):
 I don't know if this helps but usually when people text they hold the phone lower than if they were going to take a pic.You can check phone records on the internet through your cell phone provider.Probably better to err in the daughters favor if anything because if you lose your child you have nothing.
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A
male
reader, rhino +, writes (5 October 2007):
 does your daughter get on well with him,if so why would your daughter lie,i have to tell you he is lying to you,dont trust him,trust you daughter,
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (5 October 2007):
 There is a very slight chance he could be telling the truth. One can get absorbed when texting and we guys definitely have our heads in the clouds half the time, I've walked into our bathroom many a time with my wife sitting on the loo!.But this is different and I think you know that. I'm sorry to say that his explanation seems somewhat thin. Why was he texting you as he was going into the bathroom? Didnt he realise that the shower was on? Is he deaf? I hate to say it but it sounds very fishy and realistically your daughter should take priority, she is young and she is your daughter, you are all she has and likewise. Do you really want to alienate your daughter by siding with your boyfriend? I'm afraid your daughter will never trust this man as long as he lives. You can never take him back unless you kick your daughter out . This will say a lot about your value as a person and mother if you were to do this to your own flesh and blood. You have given no indication that your daughter has previously tried to implicate him in anything untoward so its unlikely she's been holding a grudge against him. At 19 she is getting more independent and also more savy in the ways of the world , and most likely protective of her mother.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (5 October 2007):
 I would put together what all the posters have said, and I would add something myself. If you are to err, err on the safe side, which is, believe your daughter.
The first poster made an important point. Did you receive the message? If you didn't, the man is obviously telling you a lie. But, even if you did, BELIEVE YOUR DAUGHTER.
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (5 October 2007):
 If your daughter is right, you know this is the end of your relationship with him and rightly do.
If your daughter is wrong...is this a chance you really want to take letting them continue in the same house?
What I do not understand is how could someone walk in while someone else is in the shower...and why was he texting anything in the bathroom..??
Beleive your daughter. Something fishy here.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2007): the question is did you receive the text around that time
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