A
female
age
51-59,
*sefeh
writes:hey i'm in big problem. My daughter is 16. I saw his mobile phone with some wrong messages. she was sharing with her school mate..those message r kind of sexual pleasure. Its seems they r showing their body to each other . i know the boy well. he is from good background . then my husband have word with him. he was very normal and he told my husband that is nothing serious they were doing this just for fun. but i could not believe all this i lost faith in my daughter....i m feeling deeply shattered and in pain...advise me what to do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Lunaa  +, writes (14 July 2009):
 Your daughter is going to be angry you invaded her privacy and she is going to lose as much faith in you as you have lost in her. This is a delicate situation and it could easliy break a bond between you and your daughter. Use the concerned approach instead of getting angry tell her you trust her but you do not want to see her get hurt and be sure to apologize for invading in her personal life, the simple act of showing her that you respect that she is her own person will go very far in repairing the broken trust.
A
male
reader, Rajesh Nair +, writes (13 July 2009):
 I am an Indian, and I do understand the implications.
I think you need to talk to your daughter about this, and explain to her, the consequences of her actions. Do not be angry with her, as she is young and is bound to be carried away with these things at this age.
But as a parent, you need to explain to her calmly, that "fun" doesn't necessarily mean exchanging sexual messages. Don't loose faith in her. She is your daughter and I am sure she'll understand if you put the points across to her, in a right manner.
I'll also suggest you to get in touch with the boy's parents, and let them know about this. You all can consequently talk to both - your daughter and the boy, and counsel them together regarding this.
I am sure things would work out soon. Don't loose faith. All the best. :)
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A
male
reader, SUICIDEVICTIM  +, writes (13 July 2009):
 Wow your losing faith in her over that shes 16 not six think about all the things you where into at 16. Any way its not a big deal i dont kno what country flag you have but in the states almost every kid with a cellphone does that just tell her to be more carefull with it cause some one could find it like you did and post he pictures on the internet in america they have started charging kids with sexual crimes for taking those kind of pictures its a normal part of growing up in a technologically advanced world dont loose faith in her just explain to her to be more carefull
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (13 July 2009):
 Don't be to hard on her. At her age, she's beginning to figure out her sexuality. Have a discussion with her about what is appropriate and what is not. I have teen daughters, I have to realize they get tempted in these ways also, but I can talk to them about appropriate and inappropriate behavior, and hoping some of what I say sets in.
Realizing your child is growing up is difficult. Going from clinging to parents to being more independent is difficult to realize. The time goes by too quick. But it happens, it's natural, but by what you say, you can give her knowledge on how to be safe.
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A
male
reader, Harry Castle  +, writes (13 July 2009):
 I can understand that Indian culture takes a different view, but it's actually commonplace amongst the young to play and experiment - don't lose faith in her, she is still your little girl and won't do anything bad.
Maybe not for the good, but Western culture is edging its way into yours, and it's inevitable that the young will embrace it more readily; but your values will prevail, I'm sure.
Just talk to her.
Don't go into a heavy parent routine, communicate and understand.
Harry.
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