A
female
age
36-40,
*ometimesclueless
writes:So I'm newly single, was married for 6 years. However I'm only 23, young by most standards! I would like to have a relationship, but am not looking for someone to bring home to my kids. I met a guy back in April we had a class together, and 2 weeks ago he asked me out. We picked up some take-out and went back to his place. We also ended up having sex. I have never done anything like this before so after leaving I didn't really know what to expect next. Over the next week we were both busy with work. There were a few times I had text him, but gotten no reaponce, but it didn't really bother me. A few nights ago at 11:30pm he text me, saying I should come over, (he's aware I have kids) you try getting a sitter this time of night I told him. Needless to say I didn't go. The next morning he text me againg to see if I'd stop by, after telling him I was working I told him I'd call when I got off. By the time I got home I saw that he had posted to facebook that he was out at the lake. I tried to text him but got no reply. Come 11pm he asked me to come over. My kids were gone for the night so I did. Again we slept together. I had to work the next day, and him the next. Bringing us to today! I text him yesterday and once today but got nothing back. Am I an idiot to wonder if he's just in it for sex? Or am I just plain stupid to not see that's exactly what's goin on? I really like him, we have a lot of fun together, but I need a little more than the sex! I just don't want to come across as clingy or needy. Please help, I'm hopelessly clueless at this whole dating game!
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female
reader, Brittbritt09 +, writes (15 July 2009):
Its seems to me thts all he wants from you next time he ask you to come over try just going and hanging out with him no sex
And wait for him to txt or call you
A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (13 July 2009):
 Wow, honey, you need to get your game polished up. A first date and he didn't even have to take you anywhere, just got some takeout and went right to the sex...*sigh* If he is only texting you at night to come over he sees you as a booty call. The guy isn't even trying to contact you for regular conversation. Man oh man.
The next time you go out with a guy, make him work to get you. Have him take you out on a few dates, pick his brains, and get to know a good amount about him before you jump into bed. Let him chase you and show you what he's bringing to your life. You might also pick up a book called "Sucka Free Love" by Deborrah Cooper.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2009): For one thing, don't text him a second time when he didn't reply to your first text! That comes across as clingy. I say you should wait to hear from him next, and if he just gets in touch in a few days to ask you to come over right now for sex again, then you can e pretty sure that's all he's interested in. Does he ask you anything about your life or seem interested when you tell him things? Being newly single, it might be nice for you to just have someone for simple companionship for a little while, but that's your decision. Personally I do this and it seems to drive guys crazy: playing it cool, having a lot of fun when I see the guy but waiting for him to call/text me, not always being free to see him (or at least saying hmmm, I'll have to double check, I can't remember...).
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