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female
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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now and only in the last week or so, he's voiced his desire to attempt oral sex. The act has no appeal to me whatsoever and I am highly reluctant to attempt it. He says that whatever I decide will not change how he feels about me, though at the same time he says that he is somewhat discouraged, since it was not like we were strangers and that girls seemed to learn to enjoy the act (though he is saying this from what he hears from other people and not personal experience). Furthermore, in his mind, it's a very common thing. We've had this discussion quite a few times this week with no resolution at hand. I hate to disappoint him and I don't want him to be discouraged, but at the same time, I can't get over my own distaste and desire to stand up to my own principles. Am I being unreasonable or am I a victim of emotional blackmail??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2006): Don't do what you don't want to do. Even if it's socially acceptable. There are lots of girls who don't do this. I personally like it, but I think it's like anything else -- I wouldn't do it if I didn't want to. Just because people are saying that it's okay and common doesn't mean that it is or that you should try it. Don't let any man pressure you into doing something you don't want to do.
A lot of people are saying things like, "Try it, because it could be okay." or "How do you know you won't like it?" Well, you have an idea of whether you'd like to have a threesome with him and another girl, right? You have some idea of whether you might like giving him a rim job, right? Some day it migh be perfectly socially acceptable or expected to give rim jobs, but will that mean that all these people who replied to you will try it? I don't think so.
Trust your instincts.
A
female
reader, Kitty_Kat_Angel +, writes (24 February 2006):
I personally dont like a guy performing oral on me, it feels weird. But i do like giving oral and i dont see any reason why putting it in your mouth is highly different to him putting it down there!?I've put far more things in my mouth than down there and so it would seem perfectly natuaral and more pratical (no condom needed!) Why should u view it as disgusting? i think it is the greatest thing, for once us women doing all the work, letting the guy relax and fully pleasing the man u love without him having to exert himself! Plus a guy will ALWAYS praise you for doing it, even if your crap!
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A
female
reader, AReneeWbaby +, writes (31 August 2005):
Girl, be assured that most women at some time in their lives have felt the exact same way! I can remember thinking how gross the thought of oral sex was. Not because I really even had an idea of how it would feel, but just that thought of someone else's genitals in my mouth and vice versa was just ridiculous!!! But like one of the other ladies suggested, if it's a discomfort you feel in allowing your partner to go down on you...take a long hot shower or bath....light some candles, and get some mood music girl. It's all a mental thing in the end, but over time with a good partner you can REALLY enjoy giving it and receiving it. It will take a little getting used to and getting the really good techniques down. But like everyone else has said...you never know until you try!
Go go for it when you're ready!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2005): Well, now, wait a minute. Is it that he wants you to perform oral sex on him, or he wants to do it to you? Or both perhaps?
Either way, yes, it is common for people to do this. It's reasonable for him to want it. If you don't at least try it, you'll be excluding what's potentially a great way of giving (or getting?) pleasure.
I would give more advice but really, I feel like it would be easier if I knew whether you were talking about fellatio or cunnilingus.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2005): Some people are reluctant to try oral sex because they are brought up to consider their genitals to be unsavoury. Some women are self-concious about how they look down there. Women might be convinced their partners will find their genitalia unattractive; she may be scared he will object to the smell or the taste. There are a number of reasons but if a woman can get good advice and do some reading-she might be pleasently surprised to find that men love this part of a woman's body..it's an incredible visual & sensory turn on for them. And she might learn there's something irresistible about being treated in this way. Even though you can do it to each other at the same time, it's quite a pleasurable experience when she can lay back and have all her desires and needs attended to.
Please keep discussing your concerns with your partner.If he's happy to perform oral sex on you, consider giving it a go. If this is the first time he tastes and smells your genetalia..he will need to reassure you that it is not repulsive to him. It's highly likely, he will view your vagina as a "thing of beauty" like most men do. His openess about oral sex...will help you break down your oral sex barriers.
Remember, the genitalia, when cleaned with soap and water is just as clean as other parts of our body. If you feel embarrassed, try it after a bath or shower. When you're clean and fresh, you'll feel more comfortable. Worried about the way you look? Dimming the lights and lighting candles can boost your confidence. But do this-only when you only feel ready..don't ever feel pushed into it. My suggestion: learn more about the act by informing yourself through books, internet and videos.
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A
female
reader, Peasle  +, writes (2 August 2005):
It sounds like you and your boyfriend have a good relationship. I don't get the sense he is emotionally blackmailing you - as he has made it clear that it won't change his feelings for you if you don't try oral sex.
When I was younger, I too felt quite repulsed by the idea of oral sex (I think most women probably did before they first did it!!). Part of it was finding it disgusting (bodily fluids etc) and part of it was embarrassment - I wasn't sure how to do it! I thought the guy would ejaculate in my mouth and I'd vomit!!
Once I finally gave it a go, it wasn't as bad as I thought. And now I enjoy it! (Maybe I'm in the minority?!).
If you feel comfortable with your boyfriend, you could give it a go - see how you feel. You don't have to go down there and do the whole deep throat thing! You're in control - go down, take a look and do as much as you feel comfortable with!! You don't even have to put it in your mouth - start with a couple of licks (!)- and see how you feel. That way you won't come into contact with 'bodily fluids'!! If it's not too awful, you can build up confidence from there.
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (1 August 2005):
 I think most girls have been there, worried about what it will be like and whether they will like it etc. He is right, some girls do grow to enjoy giving oral sex but truthfully, most of us simply do it to please our other halves! Relationships are give and take and you should experiment together to see what suits you and what you enjoy. After all, how can you hate something you've never done? But don't feel pressured. If you don't feel it's right at this time, don't do it. If he is worth it, he will understand whatever your decision. :)
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A
female
reader, sunnydays +, writes (1 August 2005):
You need to give it a go. How do you really know if you will or will not enjoy it until you try. To be fair on him and yourself you need to give it a go. Remember relationships are about compromise. It sounds like you have a great guy that if you decide to not do it that it won't change how he feels about you. Go on girl, give it a go!
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A
male
reader, harshbutfair +, writes (31 July 2005):
 Suck it and see ?
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