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female
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anonymous
writes: When my boyfriend and I were first going out, he told me A LOT of personal stuff about himself like how he had an HIV test (results were NEGATIVE) and he had a stuttering problem sometimes and he had two things on his testicles that he was going to get drained...needless to say I was overhwelmed...and I was wondering if this is normal? He's been very candid and honest about a lot of stuff but he doesn't seem to have a filter...I myself am not going to talk about those kinds of things with my closest gfs nevertheless my bf--is this normal?
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male
reader, hurtandbitter  +, writes (12 September 2008):
You're looking at it the wrong way. It only shows that he trusts you enough to let you know. It shows that he considers you closer than even his best friends since guys pretty much never tell them about that kinda stuff. If you're stressed because you feel that he expects you to do the same thing, you don't have to. He might even be turned away from it at first. In the case that you can't take it anymore for some reason and want him to stop, politely let him know to cut down. Remember that having an honest and open relationship between both parties is the best kind. When you both understand that you'll realize the benefits that come from it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2007): Id give anything to have a boyfriend that trusts me enough to let me know about his private issues.
YOu are blest, but you dont know it. Its a pity:)
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2005): Hey this is in response to the person who commented on my bf not being an alien. I know he isn't, but okay you are an honest person, I don't have anything against that at all--I appreciate his honesty of course, but I was overhwelmed all at once with all this new information. I know he isn't going to cheat on me, and I definetly KNOW I don't deserve that--I did not say I didn't like it, but I just wnated to see whether this happens to other girls who get a lot of (what I would think) is personal information revealed to them by their boyfriends. I felt that him telling me about the state of his genitals was kind of weird (I'm sorry if I'm being crazy by not talking to him about my genitals)and I just wnated to see if other people experienced this. I think you are taking it a little too far with saying I'm going to cheat on him because I'm this snide, self-protected person...I'm not, when did I say I wnated to cheat on him? I just wnated other people's opinion, and I don't have any intention of hurting my guy or doing any of the sort...I just simply asked for advice. I think saying my bf is going to be continually tormented by poeple "like me" during his "lifetime" is going a little far. I don't think I'm being a bitch, but just trying to figure out what were the possible reasons he revaled so mcuh to me so soon...maybe you can talk about all your bodily functions 2 weeks into dating, but if it's normal for a guy to open up that much then that's fine...I just wnated to know that's all..just a simple question, I don't have a hidden agenda that I am going to pull out to hurt him..and besides most of the guys do all the hurting to girls..if anything, I would think you would be on the side of the female and help her out when she doesn't know something, not jump down her throat. I am glad he tells me things and we are happy together. Thanks and take care
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female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (10 October 2005):
 Honesty is a great quality in anyone in our lives, especially partners so I don't think you've got anything to worry about. He obviously just feels close enough to you and cares about you and feels he can tell you anything and you won't mind. At least you know he's happy to talk to you, most guys clam up at the first sniff of a serious conversation!
If he goes too far sometimes and does make you feel weird, just tell him. He doesn't know he's making you feel this way and the only way to stop it is to tell him. Good luck :)
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reader, kt +, writes (10 October 2005):
 he sounds very open, lots of boys do this with there gf because they trust them and want to share stuff with them. and trust me this way is better, you are lucky to have such an open bf he could not tell you anything and end up cheating on you.
just listen and pretend to be interested and if it gets to freaky just tell him its too much information or just change the subject.
good luckk!!
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female
reader, missbunbury +, writes (10 October 2005):
 I actually think your boyfriend sounds pretty normal. It's very common for men to talk about personal things like this with a girlfriend, because often they are reluctant to discuss them with other males, and see you as a kind of sounding board. The particular things you mention he's told you aren't all that private - after all, you'd have noticed the stuttering thing and the testicle thing for yourself, so maybe he felt he should tell you in advance so you wouldn't be surprised. It sounds to me as if you yourself are an intensely private person, as evidenced by your statement that you wouldn't discuss this sort of thing with your friends. Perhaps this is why you find your boyfriend's openness so odd? It may well be that this means you and he simply aren't right for each other, and that's a decision only you can make. I would suggest though that you give some thought to the trust and honesty your boyfriend is showing - it seems to me that he likes you and wants to share things with you, which is a good sign. You also might want to consider opening up a bit yourself; after all, a problem shared is a problem halved, and there's a good reason for that saying! There's no 'normal' when it comes to this sort of thing. Different people are comfortable with different levels of emotional intimacy, and I think you and your boyfriend simply need to carry on sharing and getting to know one another so that you'll be in a great position to build a really good relationship in the future.
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reader, wwww.datinghaven.com +, writes (10 October 2005):
Stop being a bitch, these things are very PERSONAL things to tell someone, he TRUSTS you alot and you should be grateful.
Its a shame, i feel sorry for him when you start to cheat on him or whatever, he deserves better, you seem just to doubt and criticise him being honest!
Not that its impossible, but he is unlikely to cheat on you and as long as you get on you are likely to stay together (unless of course you break up because he is too HONEST or eh finds someone better or have ahd enough of you) ... i think you should honour him by giving him a tiny bit more RESPECT back, and be HAPPY that you have a good ONE!
Many people who have been married for a while wouldnt talk about those things YET he told you when you started going out...
I'm sad to know that this guy is going to get hurt soo much in his lifetime by people like you.
This is personal, rite? I aint got those problems or nout but im very similar as im always honest and open... probably too honest; im full of cuts and bruises (not physical) - yet (sorry to stereotype) but all (not all, alot..) girls go monaing when their man cheats on dem BUT dey deserve it, they rather pick someone who treats them like shit with no respect then someone whos like this totally honest and lovely.
Now you need to talk to him, and tell him your doubts, its as if he trusts you 100% with everything, and you barely 1% - what would you feel if he found out bout this post? Even though it doesnt mention his name he would be upset as you didnt keep it SECRET - if eh foudn out i doubt he would ever trust you again and you would have broken up - and you doubting if its normal...hes a human not an alien, got that?
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