A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Help me please i thought he loved me im 14 and my 15 year old boyfriend Raped me :'( i havnt told anyone what shud i do i thought he loved me, He was walkin me home and he suggested we go the long way round so we have longer to talk and then he pulled me down an alley and raped me :( please help me all i feel is Dirty i cant get rid of the dirty feeling and after he did it he just laughed Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Sabulian +, writes (17 July 2009):
My BF of 2 years also date raped me and broke up with me 2 days later. I don't know whether it had to do with his parents or him, but I am feeling guilty. so much so, that I retracted the truth to protect him. My Mom and I both called our local Rape Crisis Hotline. Unfortunately, we were informed that because he is underage (16), he is not guilty of any inappropriate behavior. I am also 16. The difficulties began when his parents were going through a divorce. His father cheated on his mom and thought that this other woman would leave her husband, but she did not. The mom would not accept the dad back and the dad was angry. My BF and I were doing well, until the dad started talking badly about me behind my back. It seems like my BF's dad took out his anger and disappointment on me. He had been nice, but eventually started to complain about me taking his time away from his son.
I suspected and asked Julian about it, but he denied it. When Julian turned 16, his father asked him whether or not he had "done it to me." When Julian said no, his father replied that by 16 he had "dome it." Julian spent the next couple of months talking about having sex. I talked about it with him, but always said that I wasn't ready yet.
I went over his house, but there was no parental supervision and he took advantage of me. I thought that we loved each other, but he was lying to get what he wanted. He is able to get away with what he did to me, and I will have to suffer for the rest of my life.
I've already tried therapy and crisis hotlines, but no one can help me.
Can anyone offer any advice to me of how to get through this, stop feeling guilty, get over my stupid feelings of love and move on with my life?
I am afraid of my future!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2008): GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE. If you"boyfriend" raped you, you probably shouldn't give him that title anymore. Tell your parents and the police. If he threatens you or any of your family members play along with it. But as soon as he leaves for work or something leave. Don't do it while he's sleeping either. Then from there god should handle the rest and his deary air won't be going to heaven. I hope you're alright. And i'll pray that for you every night that you're okay.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2008): you need to tell your parents and let them know everyting, if it comes to telling the police don't disagree, i think the police should be informed.You should have also gone to the doctors to make sure you didn't catch anything.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2008): Hey, im really to hear what happened! Thought i would reply to this as i guess im in a simular situation. I went to a party a month ago and ended up rather wrecked so i went to bed and i woke up to my friends friend raping me! I felt dirty too and really didn't know what to do. I decided to tell me friends two weeks after and the first thing they said was did you go to the first but i didnt as i didnt feel there was much point as i couldnt remember who this person was. Now a month after what happened, im pregnant! I really don't know what to do, ive asked my friends for help but they just dont understand where im coming so im hoping you can help me too. If i was you you should go to the police, you never know he might do it to somone else and they get off alot worse than you. I would suggest you tell your close friend or something, but i regret telling my two best friends because when there together thats all they talk about. Was going to get rid of my baby on tuesday but couldnt bring myself to go, my friends then kept ringing me and trying to see me yesterday just to find out what i done but i wouldnt tell them. i told one of them today and she was like well you need to decide whether your going to kill your baby or not, and she said that she wasnt going to help me anymore, as if she actually helped. Heres me going on about myself, i would suggest you go to the police to [prevent him from doing it again, you should take a test to see if your pregnant and maybe talk to your doctor about what happened. Hope your okay and to hear from you soobn. x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2008): At least tell your bestfriend.
and don't feel dirty, he did it not you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2008): I know wat u going thought I'm 14 right now I got raped my by my step-dad when I was 4 years old tll I was 9 them my mom left him and I was glade that she left him but I feel like some way is my fault don't know why thought and til thise day I haven't told any one I'm not going to tell u wat every one else it telling becouse I dodnt tell and if u don't fell right telling anyone don't becouse its ur body and u should now wats right and wats wrong to you oxoxo email me [email address blocked]
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A
female
reader, Emj85  +, writes (14 December 2007):
 Aww babes, Im really sorry to hear that. I was raped by my stepdad when I was young and my birth mum laughed. I know its not your situation but I can relate to how you feel. Please, please, please tell someone. Have you got a best friend? Parents, fav teacher, best friends parents, sister ANYONE please babe. I found this on the internet, even if you only tell these people, they will listen and advise you what to do. Call them
Rape Crisis Help Line
Po Box 47
Norwich
Norfolk
NR3 1HA
tel: 01603 667687
You are NOT dirty, HE is dirty and he needs to be dealt with before it happens again. When I went to court over my stepdad at the age of 6 he was behind a screen so he couldnt see me and he got 3 years but even people in prison hate rapists and peodaphiles ect so let him be punished by reporting him.
I was listening to the radio a few months back and a girl went on there because she had been raped and couldnt tell anyone. Even if you go to your doctor, someone you can trust. I told my foster mum and she immediately got it sorted and even though I still feel the hurt and pain att 22 I am glad I reported it. Please sweetheart, you dont want to think about it ruining your life at your age, dont live your life feeling dirty, I bet your beautiful with loads of friends and you need to look in the mirror and say that.
Please email me and let me know how you are doing, even if you just need an ear fronm somebody who has been through the same thing.
He is not human enough to be called a boyfriend, he is an evil little boy and you are stronger than he is. May i just I am so proud of you for coming on here, now you need to tell somebody who can help you get through it who you trust.
Hugs and kisses and please email me if you need someone
Em xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2007): hey, i know this wasnt too recent but i think i can help you out, im 14 and yeah i got raped a month ago. i havent told anyone yet either, not even my best friend, but you just have to talk to im about it.. and if you dont think that will work.. tell someone.. im still trying to tell him that i fucking dont wanna see him.. but idkk.. im madd scareddd.. so just go with it.. if he is still even your boyfriend.. idkk..
but good luckk.
and btw. muh name is lindsey..
and muh screen name is partyhrd69
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2007): You need to tell SOMEONE!
A parent, an adult family member, or even a teacher.
This boy is wrong for what he did to you and it is NOT your fault at all.
There is also a 1 800 number you can call, you can find it in your yellow pages or try and google it. Sorry I dont know it. Please find someone to help you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2007): ok first of all your boyfrieind is probably going to try and just take more and more advantage of you. So i would say just leave the relationship unless you feel its working out.Otherwise he's not going to respect you at all.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2007): hey...i dont knwo who you are but if he raped you...you should tell the police!!! you could be in danger
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2007): hai,,my name is priliantina from Indonesia. I am moslem. u know,,in my religion,people who have sex with his/her unmarried partner,will get a punishment called "rajam". rajam is an activity to punch s1 by a long rope. but there is also a faith in my religion that say God never see people from what it is looks,but from the heart. so the rajam is cancelled to the girl that got raped. and what im trying to say is that, of course u are not dirty !!! dont even think about it !!! u are still holy. just see the doctor to check ur health.sorry my bad english. my email [email address blocked]. good luck !!!!!!!1
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2007): hi..you must feel dirty but i felt that way before you feel as if you can't cry anymore because theres nothing left tehy took it ALL..you feel broken,unclean, alone & degrated. But in order for all of that to go away tell someone & if that someone doesnt do anything about it then tell someone else the best person to tell is your mom or bestfrand..you'll get through this..i never had that ahppen to me but my da hit me once and he bolted my windows shut and locked me in my room & i didnt do anything wrong & i felt like it was my fualt and itold my bestfrand and she said that it wasnt my fault that i should report him..i nevr did but that was my fualt..you'll make it through dont take the fast lane...3melissa..
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2007): I am really sorry to hear that someone would do this to you. I can understand where you are coming from when you say that you feel dirty. I am 21 and was raped a couple months ago and it made me disgusted with myself It makes me angry to know that someone put you through that. At first I also did not report it to anyone and I found that this made the feeling get worse and worse. Finally I talked to my parents and they reported it to the police. Please take my advise and tell someone you don't need to live feeling dirty and worthless. The fact that he did this to you has nothing to do with you, he has some problems and it needs to be dealt with. Trust me it did not happen because of anything you did. You did not deserve it. You need to know that you are an amazing woman and one day you will find someone who truly loves you, Don't let what happened to you determine who you are or set the pattern for the rest of you life. I hope you take my advise and get someone to help you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2007): I am so sorry this happened to you. Please report this to the police if you cannot bring yourself to tell your parents....This 15 year old is in serious trouble himself to have done this thing to you.
Don't feel dirty, it isn't about sex, it is about power and control, he got his jollies by forcing you, this is not the act of a normal person, but a sociopathic criminal and he is on the path to become a permanent resident of a jail cell unless he gets some help. You will be doing everyone a favor by reporting this to the police.
If you don't do this he will do this to another girl at a later date, how would you feel if you knew that and you did not do anything to stop him?
Please get some counseling as soon as you can from a therapist, ask your doctor for a referral. You have been traumatized and you need some help and support from a professional to get you through this and get you back to feeling like you again, if you avoid this step and refuse to admit to people that this happened to you, you will carry the shame for YEARS punishing yourself for something that happened to you that was really out of your control. Avoiding dealing with this will hurt you more than you could possibly know, so please head this advice if you do nothing else, get help!
What an awful excuse for a human being this guy is, I am so sorry that you were taken in by him in the first place.
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A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (24 February 2007):
 Where are your parents? You need to confide in somebody and you need to do it NOW!
This boy has committed a criminal act and you need support to get thru this.
At NO point is this your fault. HE performed an act that was against your wishes and I strongly advise you to confide in your parents or a teacher and to do it NOW!
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A
male
reader, Dakotanative +, writes (24 February 2007):
He is not your boyfriend if he hit or raped you. Turn him in ASAP. There might be a chance that he will get off, but if you don't report it, there is a 100% chance he will get away with it and will likely do it to another girl too.
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A
female
reader, me616 +, writes (24 February 2007):
Like every other person has said, TELL SOMEBODY!!! This is a SERIOUS crime and you should not have to suffer from it. This jerk needs to be sent to jail. This to to bad to keep it a secret. TELL SOMEONE NOW!!!!! I know that you don't want to talk about it or think about it but you need to do something!!!! so sorry and hope to hear from you soon :'(
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A
female
reader, dollparts  +, writes (24 February 2007):
 tell some one!!! hunny like all the other people who have been on here and said its not your fault
you need to tell some one and get this guy put away
so that he doesnt do it again to some one else, you know?
tell your parents they will understand
and if your worried about going to court don't be just like kenny said I don't think that you will have to go up on stand you know? they can get the evidence on video tape link thing
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A
female
reader, vina_101 +, writes (24 February 2007):
 NO it is NOT your fault. You cannot be blamed for his wrong actions. DO NOT blame yourself for this. You can still prove him guilty. Forensic testing will prove what he did to you. Do you still have the clothes that you wore on the day? Especially your underwear? Maybe they could use that for testing. The sooner you report it to the police the eviedence will be fresher.
I know you don't want to go over it again or even think about it, but if you don't face these things now you will have unresolved issues when you get older. Please tell your parents or someone you confide in. Don't be scared. It will help you if you tell someone. Your parents will shower you with love and they will be very understanding and you will be a lot easier for you if you have people who love you to help you along the way. Don't do this on your own. You are not alone. You are in need of help now and you should reach out to those who love you to give you that help. Your parents will not get angry at you. Please do not be afraid to tell them. I'm sure sooner or later they will notice a change in your behaviour and wonder what has happened. They will start asking questions. They care about you and want to see you happy. They will notice your change in character and wonder where their little girl has gone. 'Where's the daughter I used to know?' Isn't it better to tell them now than to have them force it out of you when you're trying to forget about it later?
You CAN tell someone. Please don't do this on your own.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (24 February 2007):
 If you are worried about it going to court, don't be. You can give evidence via vidio link up. This way you don't have to see him. If it did go that far im sure he woulden't get off for what he did.
I strongly recommend you do tell someone tho.
X
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (23 February 2007):
 Sweetness,
NO ONE will get angry at you for not being strong enough. I know you're plenty strong for having written this out and posting it on this website. If you tell your parents, they know you and they know you're strong. They'll know what to do. You aren't dirty, you're very strong, this guy deserves to go to court. Even if he's found not guilty (which he very, VERY much is and probably will be in the eyes of the court), the experience itself should give him something to think about.
Even though you'll have to talk about the details, and I know it'll hurt... it will help you feel better in the long run. Imagine what would happen if you didn't do anything and this boy went out and did this to another girl!! I think you're strong enough to help all the other girls he might hurt in the future. Do it for them and do it for yourself. Show yourself how very strong you REALLY are (and I know you are) by telling your parents or the police.
No one will be angry at you, sweetness. No one.
My biggest hugs, deepest prayers and all my strength go out to you.
xxIndia
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2007): im scared tho, if i tell anybody it makes it real and then ill have to talk thru all the horrible details of what he did and how he did it i just wanna forget it happened if it goes to court and they dont find him guilty itll all be a waste of time and he will make me look even more of a fool than i alredy do i kept telling him to stop and he wouldnt i cant tell anyone incase they get angry at me for not being strong enuf i Tryed my hardest you have to beleive me but he was to strong im only a little person. i dont weigh very much Its all my fault i should never of gotten involved with him,
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A
female
reader, vina_101 +, writes (23 February 2007):
Tell the police and tell your parents. This is a serious crime and a complete violation of you. He should be punished for what he did. I cannot believe he laughed afterwards. He really needs help.
I was nearly raped once but luckilly I managed to run away...I never reported the man to the police. And I sort of regret it knowing that he was on the loose and could've done the same to someone else. I did tell my parents and they gave me all the support I needed. I kept having horrible flashbacks and my family really helped me through it. If you tell your parents about what has happened to you they can be there for you to provide you with the emotional support you need. You cannot do this on your own. Get the police involved and press charges.
All the best. xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2007): hey hun your only 14, don't let this creep ruin your life and tell the police asap. don't be afraid to tell your mum and dad either, they will not get angry at you and will support you every step of the way.
dont keep silent babe do tell
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2007): well if you get raped you need to tell someone, he could have hurt you sexualy. you could've gotten an infection. if you had your period during that time then he could've gotten you pregnant.
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male
reader, kenny +, writes (23 February 2007):
You need to tell someone about this, preferably the police. You put your trust in this guy and let him walk you home through a secluded area then raped you.
This boy is a complete animal and needs to be stopped right now. If he did this to you he will most certainly do it again to another unsuspecting individual.
Tell the police, your parents, tell someone, you don't have to be alone through this.
The fact that he laughed after is a sign of madness, i mean how can you laugh after something like that. The crime he has committed at the age of 15, just think what he will be capable of when he get's to 20, 25.
Tell the police and get him stopped now.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2007): Oh dear, I am SO sorry to hear he raped you! What an awful thing to happen.
You need to tell your parents and report him to the police, to start. Talk to your teacher at school. YOU are NOT "dirty" - what happened is not your fault. But you do need to be able to talk this horrible experience out with someone, maybe your school counsellor. HE could well go to prison for raping you, especially as you are a minor. He deserves to be punished and WILL be, I hope.
Hugs to you!
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