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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Today I was hanging out with my best friend(a guy) at a park and we were just talking and having a great time just hanging out. Well then my boyfriend came and got really mad that I was hanging out with my friend.My boyfriend was super mad and he punched my friend in the face.Of course my friend punched him back, and that started a HUGE fight. I kept yelling at them telling them to stop but they wouldn't. Anyway so it went on for a while.Then my boyfriend pushed me against the rock wall thing and said that I can't hang out with my friend anymore.I pushed him away from me. Which just made him more mad.He left and went home. When I got home the fighting started again, in the end my boyfriend set my car on fire.I know I should probably leave him, but the thing is that i'm still in love with him.What should I do?
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female
reader, AuntyMaur  +, writes (3 February 2011):
 I have tears of joy for you because you found the courage to walk away. Well done !
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (2 February 2011):
Well, you were good enough to try again with him. But as you've sadly found, once someone has revealed that side to their character, it never really goes away.
Good for you for for trying. Even better for you that when he abused you, you left and got a restraining order. Hopefully you'll never have to deal with someone like that again. Hope you're better too.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell its almost been a month since I posted this. So the anger management classes didn't work. After about 2 days I think it was, he punched me and slapped me. I left him after that. I also got a restraining order against him. I also had to move because I lived with him. Now I am way happier than I was before!
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female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (6 January 2011):
 You are 16-17 years old. This is far too young to commit yourself to anyone, let alone a guy who needs anger management classes.
THIS IS NOT A NORMAL GUY!!!!! How many people do you know personally who have set a car on fire? He obviously has NO concept of cause and effects yet, he's not responsible for himself let alone anyone else.
Try thinking about having a baby with this guy. Now picture his temper and let him hold the baby when he is out of control. Does that wake you up? Now put the baby in a car seat in that burning car. Are you starting to see the choices that YOU are making for yourself and your OWN future?
Leave him NOW while you still can and find someone who will treat you the way that you deserve to be treated.
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A
female
reader, AuntyMaur +, writes (6 January 2011):
It's a positive sign he is attending anger management - however it will take more than attending a couple of classes. Proof will be in the pudding.
I do hope things turn out well for you - but promise me that should another episode deveope get the hell out of there.
take care.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@AuntyMaur: he has hit me before, and also with this question I had put that he slapped me then he pushed me. But the question wouldn't post so I took the part out about him slapping me and then it was acceptable to post.
So i'm still with him, but he is now going to anger management classes. Which i'm not so sure how that will go because he can always go back to the way he is now.
Which is scary, but i'm gonna give it a try.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2011): I think your boyfriends loves you too much that is why, he don't want his girl friend should be with someone else, so he did all this, therefore before having an affair with someone you need think and go ahead and even if you want to be with same b/f then don't change the partner and give him the trust that you love him and you will not cheat him, then he will be fine
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female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (5 January 2011):
 I hope that your friend went to the police and pressed charges against this bastard of a boyfriend.
I`m sorry but you deserve so much better than a scumbag like this. Your friend is a good person and this creep of a boyfriend is a danger to your friend, who loves and cares about you. You should both go to the police and press charges against your boyfriend for assault. I don`t know what the legal procedures are in Barbados... but your boyfriend belongs in JAIL... I hate people like him. :( You deserve BETTER!!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2011): If your daughter described this situation to you what advice would you give her? Its time you showed yourself (and your friend) some respect and get rid of this man. This is not simple jealousy it is physical abuse and he broke the law. What next?
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male
reader, spnwinchester +, writes (5 January 2011):
Yeah hes clearly deranged in some way, leave him, seriously im sure you wouldn't punch one of his female friends if he was just talking to her.
And he set your car on fire. Id take him to court for that or at least make him pay for it, then you should leave him.
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female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (5 January 2011):
LEAVE HIM.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2011): Most people are going to say "get outa that relationship FAST". But love is a silly little thing that nobody can change, not even you. Your affection for him has a base. Ask yourself:Why did I start liking him? How and why did our relationship start?Even if you think terrible thoughts about him and learn every bad thing about him, there's a chance you'll still like him.But my personal advice is to slowly (not too slowly but not speedy fast) back out and see him less. Make excuses if he wants to go out to a movie or something. But DON'T make an excuse like "I'm hanging out with my friends."If he knows what your doing and makes a fight (hopefully more a verbal than an action), just tell him you want to break up or "maybe we should take a little break from all this". If he threatens you, sorry girl, but go to the police! Your safety is something really important (sure, love is too), but you, getting in danger and possibly getting killed is (personally I think) worse than getting your heart broken.Heart broken is just as painful as getting beaten or raped, but if you choose heart broken, then you'll get distance between your boyfriend.Good luck hun:) Remember God is always there to comfort you as well:) and me:)
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female
reader, AuntyMaur +, writes (5 January 2011):
Run Forest run!
Perhaps you find it flattering for now to have a man fight to show his feeling of love !!!! however the longer the relationship goes on the more volitile he will become.
One day he will turn on you, he has already shown signs - pushing is the first step - in time you will wake up with broken ribs, Black eyes, perhaps a broken leg or arm, U may even wake up in hospital with a ruptured spleen or fractured pelvis- he will say sorry - be remorseful perhaps even sink into a depressed state and you will believe him --- but this person has issues - you can gaurantee he will become worse and be rest assured he will do it again because this is his personality - this is the way he communicates - with his fists.
This is not love it is posessiveness.
Your 16-17. Please let this person go --- do not stay a minute longer in this relationship.
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (5 January 2011):
Dump your boyfriend. Next time it will be you who gets punched.
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female
reader, SirenaBlusera +, writes (5 January 2011):
This guy is dangerous! He`s destroyed your property and attacked your friend. He`s an abuser, and you need to GET THE HELL AWAY FROM HIM!! What if he KILLS you in the future?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2011): Ew this guy has severe anger issues. For your own safety and that of your friends get the hell away from this guy. He is creeeepy. And completely psycho.
You stay with this guy I guarantee you are going to end up emotionally scarred, physically hurt (if not worse) and friendless.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2011): Huh?
You think you should leave him?
Why?
All he did was punch a friend over you, fight with you, push you into a rock wall, and set your car on fire.
Seriously, get some distance from this guy, don't ever talk to him again unless you like being beaten, like being raped, like being left for dead in a ditch.
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (4 January 2011):
 What are you in love with, exactly? Is it the fact that he has a horrible temper? Is it the fact that he destroys your property (which I'm guessing he isn't paying for)? Is it the fact that he put his hands on you, shoved you, and is now telling you what you can and can't do?
If the answer to any of these things is "yes", I hope you are even happier when he tells you what to wear and what not to, starts destroying more of your things and beats the shit out of you when the two of you get into an argument.
Your man has problems, and if you stay with him, your life will be living hell, even more than it is. He's isolating you from your friends, destroying your stuff and shoving you around.
It should be over the moment your boyfriend decided to commit arson. In fact, if I were you, I think a restraining order is in your future.
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male
reader, The Realist +, writes (4 January 2011):
 Here's what I'll tell you. My friends have stuck by me through terrible past relationships when they knew that I was in pain. They are still my very good friends to this day and probably will be for the rest of my life. These past gf's have come and gone but friends stayed the same even though I pushed them away when I wish I hadn't.
You should choose your friend because in the end he is the one who really cares about you while your bf is only looking out for himself. Don't go through this relationship pushing a close friend away because he may not be there when you need him. I was lucky to get my friends back and I would never test that friendship again. It's better not to test it in the first place.
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