A
female
age
30-35,
*eba
writes:My boyfriendWhen he gets mad he says mean things to hurt my feelings -your a bitch/whore/loser/patheticGets madder, and makes fun of me and acts like a complete jerk when I'm crying over himWont listen to me when I tell him that I need him to be more sensitive and that I need emotional support?He shuns me when I'm begging to talk to him to makes things better (cause I can't postpone a fight/discussion or else I'll cry all nght and that's not fun).I cry every single day. I'm 20 with everything in the world going for me except love.He always says he loves me and that he's sorry. I used to believe that and feel better for some time, but now after every instance of shit treatment I'm just afraid. Like a deer in a cage with a lion..Except that I'm afraid he'll leave...how sad is that? I'm too fucking stupid to leave someone who gives me a reason to cry every single day.Some please give me advice, go ahead be mean, no one can make me cry but him. Share some success stories, give me something. My heart breaks every single day, no joke. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (13 January 2011):
 Good for you! You made the right decision. Things WILL get better for you in time.
A
female
reader, beba +, writes (12 January 2011):
beba is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni did it. blocked every means of communication i could. can't wait to feel good again. but everyone promises me that time cures all.
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A
female
reader, beba +, writes (8 January 2011):
beba is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAlso to the anonymous reader, please get away before he hurts you. As bad as emotional abuse is, some physical abuse doesn't heal.
Thanks everyone for answering. But I think their may be more to this than my original post let on (i was in tears when i wrote it, and looking at things one-sided).
He's not a monster, he's a loving, but immature kid with a bad upbringing and good intentions (for the most part). But i know I cant help him grow at my own expense...
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A
female
reader, beba +, writes (8 January 2011):
beba is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't want to sound like an idiot, but maybe I am being one.
I was thinking it about it, and talking over it w a friend who doesn't know him except for what I tell her. STalking to her made me realize that I complain a lot, that I'm distrustful, and I jump to conclusions. All of these things I was supposed to work on when we got back together (I broke up w him once), but I just stayed close to my fears and assumptions of ulterior motives that aren't really there.
He had a bad upbringing, and he rarely gets mad at me, i'm always the one getting upset and fighting. Maybe I hurt his feelings by never acknowledging his progress and blowing every thing out of proportion.
He stuck to his end of the deal: He stopped doing coke, stopped name calling (except for the other day when he flipped), he got his grades wayyy up. When I met him he was a total mess, clearly, but he is changing and he says it's my influence (cause I never actively tried to "change" him).
Am I brain washed or just seeing things from a selfish perspective?
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A
female
reader, ahhhhhhhh +, writes (7 January 2011):
We should be friends girl Im in the exact same situation.. I cry everyday usually all day if I have nothing to keep me busy.. Im so sorry I would never wish this pain on anyone I hope we can get it together were only 20 you know life has to have more instore for us then depression over a boy who wouldnt chase after us even though we chase every day... good things are suppose to happen to good people hopefully this is true :) I feel better just knowing I'm not alone, atleast if anything I'm not as crazy as he says... Keep strong 2 things can happen 1 hell figure out you are worth it or youll figure out he never was..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2011): Trust me im on the same position and it isn't nice atall! My boyfriend makes me cry almost everyday too. And when I cry, He knows im weak. So he laughs at me. That gets to me even more and he knows it. He treats me like utter rubbish. But I do love him. Its strange how can I love someone who possibly would want to treat a girl like that? He says he loves me time and time again. And in the past hes actually proved it without him knowing. I know he has feelings for me but he simply CANNOT love me if he would sit there, watch the girl he ''loves'' cry and laugh about it! Who would want to hurt the person they love? I sure wouldnt! I would want to make them know how loved and special they are. Im a coward I can't leave him even though he treats me this way! He's even resorted to violence now. Only occasional punches to the arm or leg here and there but that is not the point of it. He still bruises me and it still hurts. He thinks he is so clever that he ca actually turn that around on me! Make me feel bad that he has hit me. Love makes us do and think all kinds crazy thins!I love him and im to afraid to leave him at the moment. I am afraid of being alone. I dont have many friends so going out with them to take my mind from things is difficult. I know that one day I will have enough and leave him. And I dream that one day a guy will come along and treat me like a princess. Like every girl deserves to be treated. And I will apprichiate that more and learn from this rlationship now! I will be a stronger woman by it. This may be the wrong relationship now but in the future I will benefit from this. Time is everything!
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A
male
reader, Donealot +, writes (6 January 2011):
Emotional Abuser but worse! Kick his ass to the curb and do NOT think about him again. You sound sweet, I hope you find another guy. Seriously kick his ass out.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (6 January 2011):
 Gather up your remaining self respect and get the heck outa there! nothing good will come of this relationship. find a real man,one that respects and worships women.
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (6 January 2011):
 This is very simple. Leave him. Get out of this abusive relationship right now, I know it's hard to leave, but it has to be done. This relationship isn't going anywhere except down the road of "going to get worse" so you need to get out of it now.
Sounds like you might have some co-dependency issues that need to be dealt with. He doesn't love you. No person who loves someone would treat them anything like this and perhaps somewhere deep down inside you feel you deserve this treatment, but you don't. It's time to stand on your own two feet and leave him.
You are not pathetic, he is pathetic for treating you the way he does. Get out. Get out now before things get worse. I did and I found the man I want to spend the rest of my life with and being with this type of guy before I met my fiance made me appreciate him more.
Please get out of this relationship, it's not healthy and will eventually get worse. Good luck to you and let me know how everything goes, okay?
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (6 January 2011):
He doesn't love you the way that you need to be loved. If he was a good guy, he would never do the things he does. Good guys listen. Good guy don't keep doing things to make you cry. Good guys don't run away when you need them emotionally. And most of all, good guys do not verbally abuse you.
Your boyfriend is not a good guy. He verbally abuses you. He's not sorry. When he tells you that, he is lying. If he was honestly sorry he would stop.
If you leave him you will find a better man. He is keeping you from finding a guy who will make you smile and laugh every day. That's how miserable he is, he has to dump on you and keep you miserable to make himself feel better.
You're not stupid either - he just has you thinking that. That's part of his game and how he keeps you around for him to abuse.
Start telling yourself you are strong and that you deserve better. It's true. Tell yourself that every day. Soon you will find the strength to get rid of this guy and find a real man - the one you've been waiting for all your life.
You can be happy. It takes one step - the step you take out the door.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (6 January 2011):
 Then why are you still with him? You know what you have to do, you are currently just too afraid and for what? You know you do not deserve this sort of abuse. What he is doing, using your own feelings for him against you is nothing like love, this is hatred and torment, it is how someone would treat their enemy. You have to start thinking about leaving him, seriously think about it and then soon, do it. There is little else to say.
I hope that helps.
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