A
female
age
30-35,
*eg2989
writes:Hello. My boyfriend is a porn fanatic. He looks at it whenever he gets the chance, even with me around. He asks me to leave. We have sex regularly, at the very least once a day if not (usually) a lot more. I dont have a problem with him looking at porn, but he does it ALL the time!!! In class, at his moms when we are having dinner, and it makes me feel horrible. Like Im just not worth his time. It really hurts and he can't stop looking at it, and honestly I dont want to ask him to do that just for me. However I'm at a loss what to do. Any advice? Thanks!
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female
reader, meg2989 +, writes (23 February 2009):
meg2989 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you all soooo much! I really appreciate it. Im am very happy because about a week after I posted this he really decided to man up and stop looking at it so often. He even deleted ALL of it off of his comp which I never implied or asked him to do, but he did it anyways! He said it would stop the temptation if he deleted it and that looking at porn really had nothing to do with making up for something lacking in our relationship. He also didnt want me to feel like I wasnt good enough because he kept looking at porn. Anyways everything has been going great since! Im so happy and proud of him too ^_^ Again thank you all so much and Im grateful that I could give a happy update! ^_^
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (14 February 2009):
 I agree with the other posters. He's an addict. Your in a relationship and deserve to have him respect your request. These behaviors can damage relationships. I think he needs help to overcome this, and he needs to focus more on you and building your relationship.
If this continues you may have to make a change. You don't deserve to live where someone places "porn" above being with you. You may want the relationship, but at the same time you don't need to live where you're being mistreated either.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2009): ew porn over you???thats just not right.tell him its porn or youand if he doesnt do anything dump him.let him come crawling back.and if he doesnt? then find a real man who can enjoy a real woman!
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A
female
reader, meg2989 +, writes (12 February 2009):
meg2989 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI agree with you. But Ive told him how it makes me feel. It doesnt really change I am not against him looking at porn but so often?
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (12 February 2009):
OK, you do mind, or you don't mind, which is it? I believe he's being completely inappropriate with his addiction. He may need help toning it down a bit. What's causing this? He's getting enough from you, so you're not depriving him. So why does he see this as okay. If it makes you feel horrible, it's something he shouldn't be doing. Talk to him, don't tell him to stop, let him know how you feel, his reaction will tell you how he places the importance of your relationship.
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A
male
reader, lovelynightmare +, writes (12 February 2009):
 Tell your boyfriend he has to get help (sex addicts anonymous, etc.) or make a change or you're out the door. You don't deserve to compete with his little fantasy world. As I've stated before, the "oh they're just guys" thing DOESN'T CUT IT and pornography is bad, pure and simple.
lovelynightmare
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2009): Looking at porn isn't a bad thing but if he is asking you to leave so he can look at it then he's crossing a line, especially if it bothers you that he's doing it. When my boyfriend started smoking I refused to kiss him on the mouth, even during sex I'd kiss him everywhere but, and after a couple weeks he asked me what was up and I explained it to him. Maybe try cutting him off of sex and when he asks why you can explain your side of things to him. Let him know that you don't mind his porn but when your around its either the real thing or pictures in a magazine, not both.
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A
female
reader, lightningrod247 +, writes (12 February 2009):
shouldnt ask you to leave. Try watching it together it could be fun. :)If it really is an obsession for him I would say that is a problem.
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