A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok im not sure if im in the wrong or not about my situation so here it is me and my boyfriend agreed to not hug anymore people of the opposite sex so today when i was in school i turned around and he was hugging another girl and i dont know but when i seen that i just got so mad i mean i guess its because im so afraid of losing him but im not sure if im being controling or not i know to some people a hug is nothing but when it comes to him any contact wit another girl fustrates me and i dont kno if this is something i need to change or not Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2009): Hugging is the new "Hi" in High School. This casual constant physical contact is something new to deal with in school. For the people that say it's fine, well, imagine your future; you're in a marriage or serious relationship and your partner is constantly hugging friends (not same sex) ALL the time. Just really think about it...I don't think it's normal. And guys, are you saying you have no problem with your girlfriend/wife giving full body hugs instead of a "Hi". I usually do the side-hug thing, if appropriate.
A
female
reader, iSmil3y +, writes (12 February 2009):
You're not in the wrong. Different people have different opinions on what they like and don't like. If you guys both agreed not to hug other people then he shouldn't do it. If you still hug other people then I think he should have the right to do so, also. But if this girl was a girl that you know, is a friend of his, I wouldn't worry about it as long as it wasn't a more than friendly hug.
...............................
A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (12 February 2009):
 I'm inclined to tell you that you're wrong here. We humans are very contact, social creatures, although some would deny that or otherwise try to suppress the quality (by that, I mean most guys would be like that). I think it's perfectly fine to hug one another -- in a relationship or not. Putting a restriction on that basic desire for contact can't be good. And just because he has contact with another girl means that your boyfriend has the capacity to care for another human being and not that he's heading away from you. And yes, it is a controlling thing to try to corral somebody else's emotional expressions. Assuming that your boyfriend is in the same age group as you have indicated here for yourself, I say more power to him! It means that he's comfortable with his emotions and is comfortable expressing them -- let him do it! And you do the same!
...............................
A
male
reader, lovelynightmare +, writes (12 February 2009):
 If you both explicitly agreed no hugging of the opposite sex, you wouldn't be in the wrong, you'd be holding him accountable for something he said he wouldn't do.
Tell him that your trust for him is in jeopardy and that he should be a man of his word.
lovelynightmare
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2009): i dont want to sound mean, but just being straight up with you... yes, you are being controlling... its not like they were kissing or making out... dont be so clingy..a hug is a hug, i hug boys ALL THE TIME and it doesnt mean i am dating them... i understand where you are coming from in you get jealous that he is hugging her then you, but really.... he likes you, thats why your his girlfriend and not anyone else... and if you want to keep it that way, it sounds to me like you have to just trust him... trust that he isnt cheating, and just let it be...
...............................
A
female
reader, lightningrod247 +, writes (12 February 2009):
Do you hug people? If so, I'd say that you are being unreasonable. As long as it wasnt an "extra-friendly" hug... don't worry about it.
...............................
|
