A
female
age
26-29,
*ngelsgurl
writes:I'm in a really tough situation and i dont know what to do.i am in a relationship, and so is my best friend.our boyfriends are both bestfriends also and usually the four of us get along pretty great.my best friends birthday is coming up soon, and her boyfriend is writing her a love song for it. this is really sweet, except i found out that MY boyfriend is the one who actually wrote most of it. I think the song is really good and he deserves credit for his work, but he doesnt mind being a good friend and letting her boyfriend pass it off as his own.i do sort of have a problem with this however, and i told him this. it seems dishonest! they are leading her to believe that her boyfriend wrote this sweet song for her, but really it was MY boyfriends idea and most of his lyrics as well.they don't think its not a big deal, but now that i know, i feel bad not telling my friend this. it seems so dishonest to her.i told my boyfriend to just let the other guy think for himself, but my boyfriend has been helping him through the entire relationship with her apparently, and the other guy really relies on him.he's worried that he may be the downfall of their relationship if he stops helping the other guy, and that the other guy might lose confidence and such. even though i know that my friend will love ANYTHING her boyfriend writes for her, the other guy doesnt feel like his own stuff is good enough, or that his own romantic ideas are good enough. he is somewhat dependant on the advice my guy gives him.the whole thing is really complicated. am i making too big a deal out of things? should i tell my friend the truth about whats going? does she have a right to know? i don't want to crush her and tell her that every sweet thing her boyfriend has ever said was thought of first by my boyfriend, but i dont like knowing that she is, in a way, living a bit of a lie.
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female
reader, angelsgurl +, writes (14 August 2008):
angelsgurl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all for your help!
the situation is over now, and it all worked out fine
it turns out the the other guy took out the lyrics that my boyfriend wrote, and my friend found out what happened she agreed with me that it would be weird and not right if stuff my boyfriend was included in the song, but its all not a big deal i suppose and its over now
thanks for all your advice everyone!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2008): hi well thats wrong but its not up to you to tell her,the only person who has to tell her is her boyfriend not u or ur boyfriend,only her boyfriend,i know she is ur friend but its not ur job to do is his!
p.s.it has happend to me and everything worked out well!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2008): I agree with the others, you are making a big deal over nothing. It is the boyfried's idea, and a very sweet one at that, where the poetry comes from doesn't matter much, it is the idea that counts.
If you are feeling hurt because you didn't get a love poem from your boyfriend, why don't you drop a hint to him that you would like one as well.
You could say, "Wow, that is a great poem, I didn't realize you had such a talent. Would you write one for me too?. He will probably be flattered and happily oblige you.
Good luck sweetie
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A
female
reader, scrazy +, writes (10 July 2008):
 Yeah, you're definitely making too big of a deal out of nothing.
It's just a song, anyone can write a love song dedicated to their favourite sandwich, for goodness sakes!
I'm sure your BF didn't write most of the song, he probably used his friend's contributions to word right for him. Which is very sweet and thoughtful of him to do.
Even if he did write it and let his friend pass it off as his own work, so what? Its going to make your friend happy, which she deserves to be on her birthday.
I don't know if you're feeling a little jealous that he's never written a song for you, but don't ruin it for everyone by telling your friend.
And please, don't interfere with your friend's relationship. You're young. Of course your friend's BF may be a little unsure and need advice on how to proceed with things - you should be proud that your boyfriend is the one to help out!
Have YOU ever asked someone for relationship advice? I'm sure you have and there's nothing wrong with that, its not living a lie.
I'm beginning to think you are feeling a little jealous and I suggest you work on reigning that in. Jealously is an ugly emotion and it can ruin your own relationship, which I don't think you want.
Take Care.
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A
female
reader, purplecloud03  +, writes (10 July 2008):
 i think you are making a big deal out of this. im sure that not EVERY SINGLE THING he has said to his gf has come from ur bf...if hes in a realtionship with her he does feel these things..maybe he just isnt that great at expressing it. Couldnt ur friends bf feel the same way ur bf does about u? if that was the case then the song lyrics mean the same thing to him as to ur bf...to be honset u sound a bit proud of ur bf and a bit demeaning to ur friends relationship. U dont know how they act with each other while they are alone...this other guy could be a sweetheart and u dont know. So i see no need to tell ur friend that its not his lyrics...why would it even matter if it wasnt..its still a sweet gesture. MMaybe he just wants to impress his gf. If ur bf is fine with the other guys saying its his own lyrics then so should u.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (10 July 2008):
 I agree with Aeval, I really think that you are making too much of this. I sincerely think that you boyfriend is trying to help his friend with a very sweet gift idea. I'm not sure if you're a little jealous that your friend gets a song or if you're upset that your man is thinking about all these lovey-dovey lyrics for somebody else or WHATEVER...
...but either way, I think that you are concerned over nothing. Your boyfriend is super sweet and awesome to be helping your friend with such a romantic idea. You are truly a lucky girl! And maybe your man is taking hints and thinking up something just as romantic for you.
Don't tell your friend, it will ruin the sweet gesture. Even if her boyfriend is not naturally gifted with a knack for lyrics and melody and he relied on your man, her boyfriend still had a genuinely sweet idea and you know that your best friend will just love it.
So yes, lighten up a bit and smile and gush over how nice her boyfriend is. Give your best friend her moment to get attention from her man.
Hope I helped!
xx India
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A
female
reader, Aeval +, writes (10 July 2008):
 Yep, your making too much out of this. If your BF is happy to let his friend take the credit for something than let him.
I am sure his friend has helped him out many times.
Why would you want to interfear with this? Leave it alone and focus on your own relationship.
Your friend will just be happy that she has a nice gift on her birthday. Why spoil that for her? Its not dishonest. Maybe he just needed a little help from his friend.
As for the "downfall" of their relationship... i don't think so. It sounds like your boyfriends friend just has low confidence. Its good that your BF wants to help his friend. He seems sweet.
Just let it go or you stand a chance of ruining it for everyone.
I think its a very sweet suprise.
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