A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 13 years old, my boyfriend and I have known each other since we were 4 but we only started dating last year.My b/f and i are really close, but he keeps begging me to have sex with him.I trust him alot, but i'm not sure what to do. Please help. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, orangejuice24  +, writes (2 February 2009):
dont have sex with him. you have to respect your body, he is just another guy looking to get laid. i am a virgin and i would never pressure a girl to have sex. you are too young, wait until you are older and are truely in love with someone
A
female
reader, mnoique13 +, writes (30 January 2009):
I don't think you should do it now, it's not my business but you really don't want to be one of the girls that people can call a hoe. My friend who I have known for years likes me, at first I thought it was cute cause it was a crush but now he wants to do it with me, I am 13 and he is 14 he keeps on telling me to trust him and that he will use a condom but I have a problem with trust. He is a very good flirter he sends me songs on my cell about how he feels like one wish and his voice it is so sexy over the phone his voice makes me like him even more and I'm thinking about doing it but I'm glad he is willing to wait, he will just keep asking till I say yes but I just want to say don't cause can you trust him and if you have a baby will he take care of it? My friend said that he will and I know it's true cause he is rich but will yours and the question is can you get pregnant?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2008): i am fifteen and i lost my virginity when i was fourteen,i don't think age is a massive problem (within reason)what i do think is a massive problem is the fact that your boyfriend is 'begging' and pressuring you into sexdo you know how many boys are out there fucking young girls and then moving on to the next one?i have three friends who do this, they go out and compete to see how many idiots they can make fall for them and believe that they actually love them just so they can get laid.my advice is:say no, then see how he reacts?if he says okay, i will wait as long as it takes, then wait until you're ready and then go for it!however..if his reaction is anger/upset then he isa) a complete wankerb) not going to be soft/gentle e.t.c but is going to completely change as soon as he gets into your pantsc) eventually going to break your heart.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2008): If you are not ready, then tell him that and if he doesnt like that then dump him cause you know all he wants you is for sex, but if u say no and he stays with you then you know he reli likes you. and just tell him you are not ready yet.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2008): u r very young my sweet sister..
u may know him since long but the thing he wants to do with u is not fair..so my sincere request is say no to him in a very sweet manner ok..
i guess u r not a dumbo u r very genious girl.. this is ur life and u have to handle it carefully...
bye sweet heart..take care
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A
female
reader, scrazy  +, writes (28 June 2008):
 You both are way too young to be having sex, much less thinking about having sex!
Tell him NO!
If he keeps pressuring you; he's not worth it, he should respect your decision to wait until you are at least the legal age of consent before making such a choice.
He will wait if he really cares about you, but if he doesn't...Then go shopping for a new boyfriend.
Along with your age, there are WAY too many other risk factors to take into consideration and at your age, you are in no way ready to think about all of that.
Enjoy your youth while its still easy because trust me, it only gets worse.
Hope this helps! Feel free to message me if you have any more problems with your boyfriend!
xo
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A
male
reader, nicky79 +, writes (25 June 2008):
 I hate to say this but I don't think your boyfriend really loves you. If he did, he might ask you if you were ready. When you say no, he would drop it. It's sweet of you not to want to hurt him, but I can tell ya, stay strong. Don't do it until you are completely ready. I know a girl my age who had sex too early and she said it was the biggest mistake of her life.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, bammy  +, writes (24 June 2008):
 well, you've gained a lot of answers there & all of them are pointing in the same direction. at the end of the day you are a teenager & you're probably going to go do it anyway. If you do go ahead & have sex with him you'd be only doing it to please him because you care & don't want to hurt him. think of yourself honey, & your're self respect.chances are if you do it to please him you wont enjoy it. You're better off waiting until the time is right & you feel comfortable. If he doesn't want to wait then he's not worth being with & he doesn't respect you. thats a sure sign he's only out for the "one thing". If he cares he'll wait. best of luck x
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female
reader, JennyIsSmoking!!  +, writes (24 June 2008):
babe if your not ready don't! as other people have said if he loves you hell wait untill your ready! ok slow things down a bit; ask yourself:
-do you really love him?
-are you really ready for it?
-do you want the chance to get pregant?
and if you answered yes to them USE A COMDOM!!!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2008): Hunny, if you don't want to have sex, then don't. If you don't feel ready yet then you're not.
You need to talk to your boyfriend about how is "begging" and pestering is making you feel.
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A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (24 June 2008):
 I dont think you are ready yet as if you were you would have done it. If it feels like you are being pressured then just explain to him you want to but are not quite ready and he should respect that. Your not saying never, just not yet.
I do personally feel you are a little young yet, there is a reason there is a legal age limit but at the end of the day its not my place to pressure you either so you have to make your own decision here but make sure you are prepared with contraceptives and are truly ready before you take the plunge x
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A
female
reader, confusedinkent +, writes (24 June 2008):
 Ok, Im glad you are mature enough to realise that you are not ready, And also mature enough to ask for advice.
Now the best thing you can do is tell him that you are not ready, and if you do feel ready in the future then you will let him know. But I strongly advise you wait until you are at least 16-17. Thats just my opinion, but you sound as if you have your head screwed on correctly!. So just use your own judgment, you'll know when the time is right. With regards to your boyfriend "begging" you to have sex with him, I personally would tell him that if he keeps asking me after I have said no, then I will dump him!. if all he is concerned with is sex then unfortunately it may be time for you to move on.
Hope I have helped, feel free to contact me direct.
xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2008): You have much more of a risk factor with sex than your boyfriend....just say no! Would you play with fire if he wanted you to?
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A
male
reader, Uncle Sneaker +, writes (24 June 2008):
 It's not a matter of trusting him, and it's not a matter of how close you are. It's not even really a matter of how old you are, although quite apart from the rules about how old you are supposed to be, the younger you start the more likely you are to regret doing it so early.What matters more than anything is how you feel. I don't mean how you feel about him, but how you feel about yourself and your body. I know very well that the more people tell you you're too young and you don't understand it properly yet, the more you will want to prove them wrong. The emotions and the sexuality that draws you towards him physically is still developing at your age. It will have its up and downs, and sometimes the physical desire will be very strong while at other times you will probably feel that sex is the most awful thing in the world! It's not because you aren't able think like an adult about many things, it's because the hormones are still sorting out a proper balance, and your thoughts, needs and emotions need to settle. At 13 you probably have most of the physical characteristics of a fully grown woman, and desperately want to behave and be treated like an adult, but you really do need time for your emotions and desires to settle a little more before you consider sex or commitment to a long-term relationship.I'm not going to tell you how old you should be when you have sex for the first time. I would only say that there's no rush and it's got to be when you really feel completely comfortable with it, not when an over-enthusiastic lad tells you that you ought to. There are still many girls who wait until they're either married or until they are much older than you and in a relationship they're fairly sure is going to last for many, many years. There are also many who don't wait for that long, but it's your decision not anyone else's.He'll wait. Of course he will. He's no different from any other boy whose hormones are also raging. There aren't many who don't want sex and, unfortunately, boys have far less sense at that age than girls (or at any age?!!).Enjoy learning and exploring your emotions, but let them, along with all your feelings and your sexuality move forward at your own speed and in your own time. Don't try to rush it. It will be SO much better when you actually do it if you can leave it for a few more years.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2008): Ok, here is the grim reality of having sex at the age of 13 for women.
Most people are unaware of this, young people think they are bullet proof and think, this will never happen to me, I don't personally know anyone that this has happened to, so me worry?
Besides the risk of an unwanted pregnancy, which would be physically daunting for your young body, and the risk of std's...there is one risk to your health that seems to be directly linked to having sex underage and it is a medical one.
Your sheer youth makes you highly likely to contract the human papilova virus which causes cervical CANCER.
You don't contract it by having multiple sex partners, or having sex numerous times....the biggest risk factor is having sex at a very young age, and by that I mean below about the age of 20 for women....for some reason your body at this age is at risk if you have sex to get cervical cancer.
Now this is a potentially deadly situation, I personally know a 19 year old girl who has this, and she has only had sex twice in her life and started only a year ago when she was 18. I also know a 36 year old woman who put off having a pap smear for seven years, found out recently that she has the HPV virus and cervical cancer....She has gone through a series of unpleasant procedures because of this and she is scheduled to have a hysterectomy in a couple of weeks at the age of 36, when she can still have children if she wanted too, no more....and then she will undergo chemo to treat her cancer.
Think about it, is putting out for your boyfriend to make him shut up and stop pressuring you worth risking your life, your reproductive future all for a few minutes of what most likely will be pain for you anyway?
Tell your friend to take a cold shower, learn to masturbate and leave you alone....seriously tell him to back off and you don't want to be pressured into doing something that is morally wrong, that you are too young for and could potentially physically harm you in more ways than one.
Take care of you, at the end of the day, you are the one in charge of you, not him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2008): Say "No" to your friend emphatically.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2008): Your way too young to be having sex or really have a b/f as this sort of thing happens. Even if you say no to sex, he'll try and pressure you into doing other type of things. Dump him, you are too young for this sort of thing. Do you really want to be that type of girl, and you know what type I'm talking about.
God what happened to holding hands??
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2008): This must be so difficult for you; I understand, because you really care for your boyfriend; you want to keep him happy;
BUT
if he cares as much for you; (oh and I am sure he is telling you how much he loves you and that it will be forever;) he will not push you; he will value and respect your feelings and be happy to be with you; without sex;
If he is not happy to be with you without having sex; LET HIM GO; then he is not really caring about you; then he just wants to have sex;
DON'T let any guy, not him not anybody convince you to have sex if you are not ready; you are still very young; try and leave that untill you are a little older; even if your friends are doing it; even if it might be "cool"; don't do it yet;
Save your first sexual experience; for now hold hands hug and kiss;
Think about it this way; what makes Christmas presents exciting; we have to wait all year for our presents; once we opened the present the curiosity and excitment is gone; let it be the same with your virginty; SAFE IT!
When you are older and ready to really explore further let it be very special; there is only one first time! SAVE IT!
TREASURE IT!
Tell this boy how you feel and if he does not like it; LET HIM GO!
A decent boy, will value and respect your wishes!
Be strong; stand up for yourself;
GOOD LUCK!
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A
male
reader, Wulfgrimm +, writes (24 June 2008):
If he really cares about you he will wait. You have nothing to prove my sleeping with him. Besides your young, wait as long as you can.
My Girlfriend is 20 years old and a virgin, sex can always wait plain and simple.
-Cris
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A
female
reader, XxAnGelXxx +, writes (24 June 2008):
 Well your still underage i do believe, but saying that, that doesn't stop most teens, Do Not be pressured into Anything! You haven't said whether you want to or not, but It's pretty clear that you don't wanna have sex with him at this age/stage. This is where you'll be putting your relationship and how he feels to the test; tell him that if he respects you, then he'll stop pestering you and wait until you are ready. Don't be scarred off about how i said that you'll be putting your relationship to the test! If he doesn't respect you and your wishes then he's not worth it sweetie. x take care x
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female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (24 June 2008):
 Sweetie, you are too young to consider having sex, and for that matter, so is your boyfriend. You need to tell him that the answer is NO and will remain NO until you feel ready.
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