A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Im in desperate need of help and advice, i checked our pcs history the other day for wedding venue sites that i was interested in. I stumbled onto a porn site and one of the viewed searches was "f***ing while on the phone with your husband"!!! I was really shocked and unsure of what to make of this, im away from home maybe a few days of the month for work but i always want to come home to her as soon as possible. I asked her if she watches porn and she says no! If theres anyone that could give me a few pointers it would be appreciated
View related questions:
porn, wedding Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Hobart Carboys  +, writes (28 July 2015):
I am always surprised at the distance from each other's true lives that couples are comfortable with. Aside from love for one's children, sex is the most intimate activity possible for a couple, and yet people allow secrets, don't know or even care to know each other's desires, histories, fantasies, and so forth.
If you keep secrets from each, that closes off intimacy in that area. What secret areas don't you care to know about?
My wife, Brenda, loved to keep things private to herself. I didn't understand that but respected her wishes until the day I discovered she was a serial flirt and a serial cheater and always had been. I will never marry again-- at least not marry a woman who prizes her secret private life more than a close relationship with her husband.
A
male
reader, Silius Sodimus  +, writes (12 February 2013):
There's nothing wrong with your wife watching porn, if anything it can be liberating for the relationship. But if she's watching cuckold porn or something like that I'd be questioning whats going on, it'd be the same if a guy looked up "cheating on my wife" porn. I'm sure wives would be thinking wtf is going on. I'd ask her calmly and nicely what it was all about.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 February 2013):
 so what's the problem? that she lied or that she watches porn?
the lying would upset me but I can see why she did it...
it's supposedly understood by many (erroneously) that porn is the male realm... that women don't watch porn.
I am happily married. my husband does not travel nor do I. we both look at porn... but we never lie about it.
so again I need to know which is the issue... the porn or the lie?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2013): I am female and I watch porn of all different subjects, I did’nt realise that porn had to be for men only. I am single and have been for a long time, so I don’t know if that makes it ok or not. My ex used to be upset that I watched porn and I noticed his ego took a bashing as a result, but for me it is about fantasy and understanding what turns me on. Why don’t you use this knowledge to spice up your sexlife and have some fun with your wife, don’t take any of it personally or assume that your wife is someone that you don’t know.
...............................
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (11 February 2013):
You didn't clarify if it's the porn that bothers you or the subject matter.
If it's porn then you need to do a search here to see how difficult it is to stop someone from watching it.
If it's the subject matter you need to keep an open mind and remember that porn is a fantasy. What turns someone watches in porn isn't necessarily what they're doing in real life.
Either way you need to have a non-judgemental talk with her.
...............................
A
female
reader, MandUK  +, writes (10 February 2013):
I'm pretty sure one url doesn't = porn addiction. It could be that she got curious, clicked a dodgy link or was maybe looking for some ideas. Lots of men routinely view porn and no one really bats an eyelid anymore, but your wife is possibly embarrassed that you caught her out. I really wouldn't worry too much.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2013): As a woman who watches porn myself i can see why she did this. Porn is mainly considered a guy thing and most women who actually watch porn will feel that they just can't admit it especially if they know the guy they are dating/married to may not get it. I overcame this problem by "stumbling" across porn sites with my boyfriend. He also started to ask me what videos i liked watching but I felt I couldn't tell him that at first but as we watched more porn together we got more open about it. Now I'm happy for him to watch it when I'm not around and vice versa.I thinks it's a bit dramatic to say its the beginning on the end. If I knew my boyfriend would react badly to me watching porn I probably would tell him either.You need to be supportive and show her that its okay to watch it and even watch some with her. That way she won't feel silly as if you go in all guns blazing she will struggle to tell the truth in the future
...............................
A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (10 February 2013):
 If it was just a random porn site, I wouldn't have been concerned at all, but in this case, I definitely would be. You need to show her the history and ask her why she lied... Otherwise, this is going to be the beginning of the end...
...............................
|
