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anonymous
writes: I've been with my boyfriend for nearly two years. He has been divorced for about a year or so but he still wears his wedding ring on his necklace. This makes me feel like I am nothing in comparsion to his ex. He never tells me he loves me. When I ask him about it he says that he let himself go before and lost everything and won't do it again. His ring, he says, should not bother me as it has nothing to do with me. He cannot understand why I have such a problem with it. I do want to be with him and for us to have a future but am I just wasting my time?
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reader, dan102938 +, writes (16 May 2005):
If it's bothering you that much then say if you're not together with your ex then why do you still have it and stuff. Sorry if this doesn't help you.
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reader, star3482 +, writes (11 May 2005):
sounds as if you've not been together very long, maybe in time he'll get over the past and move on with you. if you have been together a long time... get out!!!
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reader, wwww.datinghaven.com +, writes (11 May 2005):
I agree with Rebecca.I also think you should end the relationship because it simply comes down to not having any respect for you and imo you becoming second best to a woman who he has been divorced from.I'm not religious or nout but people wear the cross on a necklace and wear it with pride, thus with my logical thinking its even worse then wearing it on a finger, the advantage of wearing it on a necklace is because its close to the heart which suggests he still has feelings for his ex -wife. I then think to go to say its his ex-wife that divorced him? I also think he is caught up with the past, you should leave him, then if he does like you he would try and get you back. But on a lighter note if you love him so much you should get him professional help, it seems his ex-wife is a barrier for him to move on and to be with you. If you can get that sorted and if he can jump over that hurdle then there could be a future in it for the both of you.
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (11 May 2005):
 It seems to me as if your boyfriend is still clinging onto the past by wearing the ring around his neck. As he is divorced, he shouldn't still be wearing it. Also, he should understand why you have a problem with it for this very reason only. I would normally say to couples to let the past go but as your partner is still holding onto his and affecting your future together, I think this needs to be investigated further.What does he mean that before he let himself go and lost everything? Ask him. Is he frightened of this happeniung again? Does he have any contact with his ex? And the sixty four million dollar quuestion: does he still have feelings for her? Does he still wish he was with her?It isn't normal to still wear the ring after being divorced, particularly for a man. I mean, at least with a woman she could say that she liked the ring, that if she took it off her finger, she would be lost without it but he can't say that.You could say to him that you would like him to wear something that signifies you both being together. Explain again to him that you can't understand his need for wearing it as they are divorced and that he should be thinking of you and your future.He doesn't tell you he loves you. You need to find out his feelings for you. Why is he with you? What does he hope for you and him?It could be that he is still caught up in his past and therefore not ready for a committed relationship. In which case, you will be wasting your time but you need to talk to him to find out if this is true.Good luck.
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