| A ,
anonymous
writes: I am happy and settled with my life-partner. Only problem is his old flame is still around (as a friend) and I wonder if she is a threat or if I'm just being silly.
View related questions:
his ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (11 May 2005):
 I don't think you're being silly, just cautious. The important thing is to bring this out in the open with your boyfriend and tell him that, even though you're embarrassed to admit it, the fact that his old flame is still around, worries you a little.There's a very good chance that he'll reassure you that nothing is going on -- after all, there's a reason she's an "ex", right? If they were still in love, they'd probably be together. Since they're not, it's probably a non-issue... unless your boyfriend is an unworthy cad! And if he is, why would you waste your time with him, anyway?I would be keeping your eyes open for any smouldering looks or any fishy interactions between them, but unless there's something that you can definitely sense, you'll torture yourself worrying about "what if"s, so just don't. Give your boyfriend the benefit of the doubt unless there's something pretty obvious happening.Good relationships have to have a foundation of trust or they'll fall apart. This is a good test of how much you can trust him... but don't forget that, whether or not she and your b/f are actually pals, she'll probably always exist in the background. If you worry about the fact that your b/f had something with her *once* and that he might again, you'll panic forever. It's just not worth it.Good luck.
|
