A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend and me have been in what i would say is a serious relationship for about 6 months. We are the same age and have got to the point where we kiss a lot, for a long time. recently, whilst kissing he's been pulling me a lot closer than usual and touching places he never used to. Does this mean anything? or am i just being paranoid? please help x
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female
reader, ova-valentine  +, writes (24 January 2016):
 If he is touching you in ways that you do not feel comfortable with (you know what im talking about here) then please bring it up with him. It is not a reason to break up if he stops doing this. If he continues doing this after you have addressed your feelings on it, address your feelings again. If he continues doing it, that's a warning.
You are both 14, and I personally think that is too young for serious physical contact. Your concern with this is certainly appropriate. Do NOT let this contact grow to a level that is not appropriate for your age.
Best of luck with this.
Ova
A
female
reader, Songwr1ter +, writes (24 January 2016):
I agree with the other poster, in that its quite normal. Because you're both at that age, its the time when hormones are all over the place, and puberty is kicking in. But be careful at all times, 14 is quite young. I'm 15, & havent even had my first kiss yet! So if you're not comfy with the way he's touching you make sure he knows.
And if he tries to guilttrip you into doing it, or isnt happy with your choices, it means he doesn't respect you. It takes two to tango, and you have as much say as he does.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (24 January 2016):
You’ve had good advice. What he is doing, as RubyBirtle explains well, is perfectly normal in that this is how a physical relationship develops. I’m not sure why you used the word “paranoid.” If you mean is anything wrong, the answer is no: this is normal. Dean 93 is also right: take things at your pace. I am old-fashioned and, to me, this is too much at 14. No-one ever regretted not rushing to grow up and plenty of people regretted doing too much, too soon with some-one who wasn’t the right person. But ultimately you have to make up your own mind about such matters, so the golden rule is this: no means no. If he touches you in places you don’t like or does anything else that you’re not comfortable with, you need to be honest with him about that and it is your right for that to be respected. Don’t be pushed or pressured.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, RubyBirtle +, writes (23 January 2016):
Does it mean anything? Yes! It means he's a normal horny, red-blooded, heterosexual teenager who fancies you!!
Does it mean that he's in love with you? No, not necessarily.
What you describe is a natural progression of a physical relationship. Just do what you feel comfortable with, don't feel pushed into anything you're not ready for. There's nothing wrong with taking things slow or asking a guy to slow down if you need to.
What do you think it means? Just wandered why you might feel "paranoid". Or did you just mean that you're over-thinking things?
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A
female
reader, dean93  +, writes (23 January 2016):
Hi! I think it's normal :) He could be kissing you for a longer time because he feels closer to you, and/or perhaps he wants to go to second base and/or maybe even third base. It is a normal part of teenagers growing up to want to explore each other's bodies. That being said though, there might be other people who disagree and say such should be left for when you are older. The more important thing to me is that you are ready for it and you want it yourself (physically and emotionally) and don't let yourself get hurt. By getting hurt, I mean moving things too quickly and if things go sour, you regret having done any of those things with him. If any of his actions make you feel uncomfortable, you have the right to say no. It is your body so take care of it :)
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