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female
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anonymous
writes: I am 21 and my new husband is 23. We have been married for 2 weeks now.I came home from work one day to find my husband in bed with my mother kissing and having sex!I can't face either of them and feel sick to the stomach after finding out the affair has been going on since we were engaged 2 years ago!What do I do??
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female
reader, tatiana +, writes (22 September 2005):
And this is were this chapter of this book should end for you. You need to leave your husband and your mother there. There are so many great people in this world you will find them - they will love you more than your mother and your husband. At least you know now, they can't lie to you anylonger. Thank God it wasn't like 10 years or so. What a terrible thing your mother did, I don't even want to talk about him - that f...n idiot. This is so hard for me to write to you and I am trying to feel your paid, but if I was you - the next time I would see my mother would be at her funeral - just to make sure she is really dead. You will get through this.
A
female
reader, Delila +, writes (14 September 2005):
Your Mother is the woman who gave birth to you! What the hell was she doing? Was she on drugs? She must have a mental illness then? You will never get over this as long as you live! Move on with your life? How the hell can you do that? How can somebody even suggest that you move on? I mean are you actually able to get up everyday and live? If you are then I take my hat off to you. This is like so unbelivably shattering it goes beyond BETRAYAL! Long slow torture would be too good for them both. I bet that you are feeling ashamed to tell close family members what has happened? Its weird how this is one of the reactions. TELL THEM! SCREAM IT OUT OF YOU! DISOWN YOUR MOTHER! If I were you I would want to burn the house down preferably with them in it! This will always sting. This is not only betrayal but it is the loss of a husband and mother. Grieve them both as if they were dead. I swear if you get over this and still be sane write a book and tell people how you did it.
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A
reader, pops +, writes (14 September 2005):
What do you need to get you to see an attorney about a divorce? Come on. End this relationship, and give your mother a piece of your mind about her behavior, too. These are adults, and they knew the consequences of what they were doing. consciously or unconsciously, they chose a location to have sex with the hopes that you would discover them. Your mother's behavior is inexcuseable. And your husband needs to become your Ex- husband so fast his head will be mounted on his shoulders backwards. If there are other family members around- like your father, or brothers and sisters, or aunts and uncles, don't hesitate to tell them why you aren't having anything more to do with your husband or mother! If they think what your mother was doing is okay, you want to learn that very soon, so you can avoid them, too. You are the victim, here, and there is no shame in being a victimized by two selfish relatives.
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A
female
reader, Happygoddess +, writes (14 September 2005):
I am so sorry this happened to you. You are an innocent victim here and there is nothing you could have done to control two other people's actions.
Please take time now and focus on yourself. Do not make excuses for them or accept any "explaination" that they may give you. Clearly they continued a selfish, indulgent, deceptive practice despite your love and trust for both of them.
You need someone professional to talk to, and some supportive friends around you right now. I suggest putting space between your soouse as well asyour mom so you can devote time to YOU.
I truly wish you the best. Take it one day, or even one minute at a time if you have to. XX
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A
female
reader, jaime +, writes (14 September 2005):
Get rid of him! he is no good! either he just wasnt getting enough from you, or he is attracted to your mum, either way you must confront both of them right now, see what they has to say for themselfs, he sound like a cheating scum!
How dare he use your mother for it!
and how can your mum do that to you! i cant tell you exactly what to do but if i was in your shoes i would be as far as way from both of them as i could!
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A
reader, Tabbie +, writes (14 September 2005):
You poor thing...That is horrible that your own mother would do that to you.. oviously this man isn't worth you time either.. so I also advise to get as far away from them as possible, I know it will be so hard but it will be the best thing for you to do.
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A
female
reader, missdee +, writes (14 September 2005):
Move out and move on with your life. Your mother is a sick woman and your husband isn't any better. Make you a life that doesn't include either of them. This wasn't a one time deception it went on for 2 years. I don't see getting over that easily. Space and time will help though.
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