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female
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*ellymaster1
writes: I have been with my boyfriend for two years. I have never achieved an orgasm during sex. He has made me orgasm using his hands and usually after sex he will "finish me off". This is always nice but lately I've been feeling a bit turned off and fed up as I really want to have an orgasm during sex. The other problem is that when he does touch me I tend to finish off quite quickly and I don't take long to get warmed up during foreplay but once he enters me I stop feeling enjoyment. Sometimes I feel pain, but not always, and tend to get quite bored. He is the first person I have slept with so I don't know if this is my problem or if there is something he could be doing?
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female
reader, krstl05  +, writes (3 June 2009):
I'm not sure how old this post is but I'll throw my two cents in anyways. You see all the people that replied to this post? They all have problems orgasming during sex. So it is obvious that it's normal. I can't orgasm during sex either. The only way I can is if I use a vibrator. But at least we can orgasm!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2008): I know how you feel. I can never orgasm when I'm having intercorse either. Perhaps this is because my boyfriend dosnt know how to please a woman. And when I try to teach him he gets frustrated and dosnt want to learn. What ever the case may be we still have a lot of problems... I'm just trying to figure out how to teach him with out getting into a huge argument with him. Or maybe I'm just one of thoes girls who dosn't orgasm by intercors at all. I sometimes can't even feel it when he touches my breasts. When I don't notic it he thinks I'm ignoreing him. this may seem weird but ever since I was little the only way iv been able to orgasm was through applying pressure to my clit. I'm not sure how to explain it but I still do It today. It dosnt involve rubbing or thrusting anything inside me. Its just pressure and pleasure. Anyone know what I'm talking about? I heared guys can do it too.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2008): I feel for you as I have exactly the same problem. Initaially I would feel quite resentful towards my partner but now I'm just depressed. The problem is I should have been more clearer with my boyfreind about what pleased me sexually from the beginning but I was too shy, so now we are stuck. If you can talk honestly to your boyfreind I would advise you to tell or show him what you like, also remember that a large amount of women cannot orgasm during penetration and you are completely normal in this area. Also don't pressurise yourself to have an orgasm or you will become so stressed it may not happen. The society we live in creates all kinds of myths about female sexuality so don't try to live up to a often false image, for example woman who can spontaneously orgasm without much foreplay or stimulation becouse what we see in films, books and magazines is a load of rubbish! Please only yourself and your own expectations.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2007): I was a virgin and i wanted for me and my girlfriend to both experience orgasms. I have made her orgasm, but through her clit. but i read online a g-spot orgasm is more pleasureable for woman. after we had sex the first time neither of us orgasmed, but the second time i did but she didnt. and i was kind of pissed. so i thought maybe the position was wrong and well i love when shes on top but we found a position that worked for both of us. the female should lay on her back with her knees around the shoulder or breast area and the guy over her, facing her wit his hands by her shoulders. this position worked great, not foreplay needed and within a couple of seconds she was feeling it more intense for me. ( do research about your gspot is kinda hard to stimulate your clit while having sex but ur gspot seems to be easier if u know what you are doing
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2007): i think oral sex do help most us women.and kissing as well
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2006): If you find the anwswe to this question i want to know cause i can eather
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2005): re: Laurette - Don't use vaseline: use a water-based lubricant. Vaseline (and all oil-based lubricants) can damage the condom and you won't be protected!
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female
reader, laurette +, writes (26 September 2005):
It is true that alot of women experience this problem but there are many ways to get get an orgasm in bed. Before we go on to the bed senario , try a few things firstly and alot of women might or might not know this but Take a relaxing bath firstly to unwynd, after you bath take the shower head or run a tap( warm water only) and hold it close to your clitoris and you will feel sensations you have never felt before but whilst doing this think of you partner and the stimulation will be intense, do this a few times a week to get you body fimiluar with these sensations.
Now into the bed scene , touch and connect with each other, rub your hands up and down each others body, kissing each other from top to toe then slowly take positons for oral either do it at the same time or take turns but only for a few minutes, then go back to kissing and touching, then back to oral . Some men do tend to be rougher than what we like so let him know how you like it, soft and gental round these parts.
Orgasams and climaxing are two totally different things, (I call it my funny feeling) because it is hard to explain the feeling you get when you climax , your legs go like jelly and after you climax you feel as though you can't go on because you clitoris is so sensitive and you feel you have run a mile or two.
An orgasm is from deep penetration which can be enjoyable if you haven't climaxed already , that is why pacing yourself will benifit the both of you. if you have climaxed through oral sex, take a breather and start kissing and cuddling for abit until the sensitivety goes away. Once you're ready let him mount you for a bit, place two pillows underneath your bum to prop u up so that you clitoris is rubbing against him, if that hurts it's because you are too dry and you should try rubbing vaseline to that area so that you both slide with the motion. Fast is not always the best, so take it slow, if your partner is about to orgasm ask him to slow down some more....
Then turn him over and you go on top, sit almost on his belly button , place his penis inside and do your thing, whilst in motion, put you hand behind his head proping it towards your breast, he will atomatically latch on, if he doesn't ask him to, this will make you're orgasm and climax almost unbareable but extremely pleasurable.
If you feel sore in that area move up some more making sure he is still inside and continue.
Remeber you should feel comfortable and at ease with this , sex is a wonderful things and you are in control of how you want to feel , don't feel embarassed, feel confident and sexy and you shouldn't have a problem.
It is true what they say if you concentrate to hard on having a orgasm or climaxing it more than likely won't happen, so enjoy the connection and enjoy each other.
If you still don't feel that much has change and sex hasn't improved then maybe you are with the wrong person. You know when you're with he right person, it's when sex is always great and very much pleasueable all the time.
** hope this helps you **
good luck.
laurette
oral sex is great for most of us women and men love it just as much and it is a big part of making love,
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2005): I have experienced the same problem, and the advice AdrianB gave you, is well worth trying, because you won't be dissapointed. Also don't concentrate on reaching orgasm, as this tends to make you tense. Just relax and go with the flow.
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male
reader, adrianB +, writes (16 September 2005):
My girlfriend used to have this same problem with a previous partner, the answer may be that you can only get an orgasm from cliteral stimulation, this is not at all uncommon! This may sound a daft question but if you or he plays with you externally will it give you an orgasm? If you have not tried this then get on to the foreplay! try getting him to touch you whilst he is making love to you, if he doesnt feel ok with doing that then do it yourself!
This may seem like you will be telling him he doesnt satisfy you but every mans dream is to satisfy their girlfriend in the bedroom at what ever cost so you will proberbly find he is more willing once he has seen the effect.
The next most important thing is dont fake it! If you do then he will never know what really gets you going, so be honest and open in the bedroom and you will benefit from it greatly.
Remeber Im a man so I am giving you a mans eye view on this, trust me as I have spent my life trying to satisfy partners in every way and find their pleasure to be my turn on, so I wouldnt say it if it didnt work!
Most of all, relax and enjoy. I hope this helps.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2005): I don't orgasm through sex either but I don't care. I have spoken to a sex therapist and some woman don't - its as simple as that. I think you need to stop worrying about it and just enjoy the act of love making. Be happy that you can orgasm at all and some woman can't.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2005): well i know how you feel i have the same problem i find if you relax and try not to get nerves your sex life should get better
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2005): I have this same problem, and frnkly, I don't think any of the answers posted would work. I have had sex with alot of people and I have never had an orgasm during intercourse. In fact, the only person who can get me off is me. I've heard that an orgasm during intercourse increases you chances of concieving. I hope that's not the case. I don't think anything is wrong with either of you. I just think everyone has different ways of getting off.
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reader, pops +, writes (14 September 2005):
Only you can know how to make you have an orgasm. Learn. Then teach your lover. To help you climax during sex, he will have to mount you high so that his pubic arch rubs your clitoris. And, it sounds like you are scared of sex. Are you still worried about pregnancy? I assume you both are using adequate birth control, but you are not alone, as a new lover in being subconsciously afraid of sex. Having an orgasm during sexual intercourse does not increase your chances of becoming pregnant: Having sexual intercourse increases your chance of becoming pregnant, if you aren't using proper birth control !
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female
reader, jaime +, writes (14 September 2005):
This is very common, many girls cant get orgasms and can only argasm using vibrators, others can only orgasm when he touches you. My advice is, before you have sex, get him to make you really horny and then have sex, that way you will have beter sex, if it doesnt work, then theres not much to do about it, speak to a doctor or somone about it
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reader, Tabbie +, writes (14 September 2005):
I have your same problem, I can't have an orgasm during sex, this happens to alot of women though, so my advise is stop worring about it, because if thats what your thinking about durring sex then yes, it won't be good for you.. so just focus on your man.. and let go...:)
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female
reader, missdee +, writes (14 September 2005):
If you are feeling pain during intercourse or getting bored with it then he is not doing something right.
Women have certain areas where there are pleasure spots. Does your boyfriend know how to reach them areas, or does he know where they are. Porn is a great way to teach your partner what feels best to you. You can simply point out things that you would like to try or that you think might feel good. If you don't like porn you can try books that can show you various positions and pleasure points for the female and male.
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