A
female
age
26-29,
*yla Mead
writes:I want a baby and so does my boyfriend but I'm only 15 this year and I'm worried about telling my parents. I reallly know I'm to young but I love kids so much and just want one to have 4 myself. I am a babysitter so I'm forever looking after kids and I just love them so much.We love each other dearly and we have thought about the costs of everything, he has 3 jobs and he said he would never leave. I know I'm a kid myself but I know how responsible and how great of a mum I would be....What do I do?? Honestly dont know what to do ?? :/
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female
reader, peace143  +, writes (26 February 2011):
lots of girls feel this way when young. dont get pregnant! i have 3 babies myself. its hard. we have levels in life we have to get to first. you are not there yet. if you dont get to these levels you want be the best mother you can be. it takes time. money is a big thing on raising children, must have... be a teenager. there is soooooooo many things to do young. i had lots of fun, got into teenage trouble too. but all in all i learned alot. give yourself time to learn. take care of yourself
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2011): Unless you can support your child financially, you should not have a child of your own. A child costs your money and time. I don't think that a fifteen year old have enough of either resources to raise a child.
Waiting doesn't hurt.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2011): NO don't do it!!!! Seriously, I thought I loved my boyfriends when I was 15, that i slept with, and now that I am older, I am so glad, so so happy that I didn't accidentally fall pregnant. Wait until you are at least 20. I had a baby when I was 19, I don't recommend it, It is still too early. I was traumatised from the birth. I couldn't believe that's what you had to do to have a baby. I tell my friends that it was like chopped in half with a chain saw. I'm in my thirties now. In hindsight, having a baby at 25 was a good age.
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male
reader, Kilcardy +, writes (19 February 2011):
You really should wait on that. Children are life altering responsibilities. You can't just pick up and decide you want to be a kid again, once you have children. Your life will be literally consumed once you have a child. You will not be able to hang with friends. You won't be able to do the things that kids your age want to do. Every living moment will be consumed by your child. And, while you bf says he'll never leave you, he's just a kid himself. Think a few moves down the road as to the spot you would be in if your bf did leave you all alone with a baby. You ... and your child...would be at a huge disadvantage emotionally and financially. People change as do circumstances. Having children is scary and overwhelming for adults, let alone someone your age. I would counsel you to wait until you are more mature, have lived life a bit, and been around the block once or twice before taking on such a massive responsibility. Enjoy your childhood because adulthood with all of its attendant problems and responsibilities will be here for you all to soon.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2011): You sound like a very intelligent 15 year old if you ask me. It seems you've thought of mostly everything.
But as you said you're young and I think you know it's not the right time yet. Please don't think you're alone or strange for wanting a kid, in fact most girls go through that in their teens. Let me just say this though you have to be an adult to take care of a child. I'm not saying you couldn't of course you could, but it's very different babysitting than it is to actually be a parent.
The most important thing here though Ayla and it's the one thing you have not considered is that it will be your parents raising this child not you. It will be more like a little sister/brother than your child because you're simply not old enough nor independent enough to do this on your own. You're not. Are you going to give up school to take care of this child? That would be stupid what kind of future can you give your child if you give up your education? Then who's going to take care of the child when you're at school and your boyfriends at work? Your parents or his parents, that's 8 hours a day that they'll be raising your kid. That's not fair on them OP.
Trust me you think that it's nice to have a baby but you don't consider how it will effect their lives, it would be very unfair of you to do this to your parents. They've just spent 15 years raising you, they've spent however long a time raising your brothers and sister too. They're nearly finished raising you OP, another 2 1/2 years and it's job done for them and trust me, they're looking forward to that because as much as parenthood can be a joy it's the most tiring and draining job you can ever have and it lasts 18 years minimum.
What you're proposing is forcing them to raise another baby and that's not fair.
"he said he would never leave" OP if that's what you're basing your decision on then you're not as intelligent as I thought. You should have a look around here and see how many girls thought their guy would never leave.
It's easy to talk to your parents about it, just sit them down and talk to them. You know that. Can you convince them that it's the right thing to do? No, because you know it's not this is too much to ask of them. OP it is very selfish for you to think of this, you want a baby for you but you don't have the means of taking care of this kid on your own. They'll be the ones taking care of it. If you do leave school to take care of it then that kid has an uneducated mother and if your boyfriend were to leave, were to lose his jobs or anything bad were to happen him you wouldn't be able to manage on your own because you'd be uneducated and young.
OP babies need more than love to be happy and have a chance at a good future, love doesn't pay for medical bills, love doesn't change nappies, love doesn't give them a roof over their heads.
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female
reader, Eilish  +, writes (19 February 2011):
 Oh dear. To be honest I don't think you've thought about this properly. :/
Babies aren't accessories, they are people. They have feelings. They need emotional care, academic care & looking after 24/7 every day. It's a huge committment for somebody at your age! You should be enjoying your life, afterall, whats the rush with having a baby? You can do that later on in life!
Just think about it. You'll not be able to go on holiday with your friends, you'll struggle to go back to school and fulfill your dreams, you'll be watching all your friends live their teen years whilst your stuck inside changing nappys all the time. These are your teen years, these are the years you will never ever get back, and could possibly turn out to be the best years of your life!
Trust me, you are making the wrong decision. You may love babies, but having one at the age of 15.. You will regret it. You have the rest of your life for a baby, however your teen years are the most important years of your life. Don't throw them away.xxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2011): I find your post very sad. You are only a child yourself and you should want to have your own life, have some goals, ambitions. Even if it is just to have a good time. Life is very uncertain and you need an education, qualifications to make yourself able to fend for yourself. Babies are only babies for a very short time, then they are children with demands and needs. Whatever you do wait until you are at least 18 before you even think of having a baby. Your life choices will be limited before you are even an adult yourself if you become a mother before that.
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female
reader, GettingHelp  +, writes (19 February 2011):
Hun, I totally understand where you are coming from
But you don't want to be the girl that can't party with your friends on weekends for their birthdays or celebrate things because you have a baby/child to look after.
Amongst other things, a child ideally needs parents that will stay together for most of their childhood, if not all of their life. At 15, you have a long way to go in physical brain development: news: that means along with that your personality won't finish developing until you're about 23/25.
The same is true for your boyfriend.
If your personalities change so much in the next 10 years: will you be able to stay together?
You think yes now... But you don't know that.
wait until you can give your children the best life possible before you start having them.
Another thought? Have you started having sex with your boyfriend yet? If the answer is no, consider that he MIGHT*** be saying these things to get into your pants. Horrible! But its a possibility.
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female
reader, Battista +, writes (19 February 2011):
There are so many problems with this, but I am going to focus simply on one of them.
Your bf has three jobs. This means that they are probably all part time, and probably with no long term security. Long term financial security is what you need when considering bringing a child into the world. The real question is, how much does he earn? It was estimated last year that is takes £200,000 to raise a child. I don't know quite how that translates into dollars but I'm sure you can appreciate that this is a lot of money.
I am interested to know whether you and your bf have your own place right now, as of course this is a prerequisite to having a child- you clearly cannot impose this on your parents. How much do you plan to budget for accommodation? You need to ask yourself then, how much money do you have left over after rent or a mortage and bills, transport too because it is very useful to have a car when raising a baby.
You need to do these sums before seriously considering a child. Also when you become a parent you should get some sort of insurance policies in case anything happens to either of you; does your bf have income insurance, for example? Do either of you have life insurance? Do you even know how to go about arranging a policy? You say you have discussed the costs but I find it hard to believe that you really have sort of income required to raise a child. Moreover, if you have a baby now your own education will be seriously affected, lowering you earning potential until you can catch up and get proper qualifications.
Please can you post back with some more details on your finances, because this will have a large bearing on the sort of advice we can offer.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (19 February 2011):
 Let's start with saying that in Australia the age of consent is 16 ( and 18 in some states ) - you are not even supposed to have sex yet and frankly if I were your parents and your bf were over 18 I would much probably press charges.
Anyway, I hope you will talk to your parents, and I hope that either they can talk some sense into you ,or that they ground you for an undetermined length of time.
Your bf works 3 jobs, and that's commendable, but for raising a family he does not need 3 part time jobs , he needs a solid, steady career. And a place for you to live together. And an emotional maturity that I doubt he can have at his age.
And what about you ? Don't you want to go to school, or maybe get a degree, learn marketable skills, build up your own career ?... Don't you have aspirations, ambitions, dreams for your future ? Are you willing to spend most,maybe all of your time with your child while friends your age are out having fun ?
Being a good babysitter has nothing to do with being a good mum. I bet you babysit a few hours a week , take them to the park, do fun stuff and bring them back to their parents. Who don't call you when the child is keeping them awake all night, or is sick with a high fever, or in the hospital for a medical energency. There are things that girls of 15 not prepared to handle, at least 24/7, particularly if they don't HAVE to.
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male
reader, askmeanything2 +, writes (19 February 2011):
 Are you thinking straight?You are only 15 and want a child ,you say you have thought about all the costs i bet if you went to get the real prices for all the things you would need it is way more than you ever thought ,and what about all the hidden costs,there is allot to think about.Have you thought about when it was bourn and you take it home you will not be getting the type of sleep you are getting now trust me i have 6 kids and all loved waking up during the knight and would cry for ages .Would your boyfriend like having 3 jobs and no sleep because thats what happens i would say to you it will be very hard and you have to be prepared to bring it up on your own because your boyfriend will get sick of no sleep ,working 3 jobs. i presume he is around your age so i would think he will want to be able to do things still but will not be able to ,it will be a real strain on you bothsorry to sound harsh but i have been there and done that and i have a great wage. But kids cost so much .You need to really think about this and do tell your parents.if they are against it ,it will be even harder for you,just enjoy life and have kids later. you will apreciate kids more when you area bit older.I wish you all the best.
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female
reader, Rose22  +, writes (19 February 2011):
 sweetheart i know you think you have thought this through, and it may seem as if everything is going to be alright.But you really are too young to know the real consequences that a baby brings.your boyfriend may have two jobs but at that age he cannot handle the stress of a baby, even if he says he can't leave. now i dont want to tell you what you can and can't do but your mother will absolutely flip out when you tell her your plans. no mother wants that for their child and to her you are still her baby.i think the best most responsible thing to do here is wait until you're older. if it's too much, not to do anything about your baby urge, then maybe every so often buy some baby clothes and store them away? that way you are ready for when the time is right. which is not now.i would like to add that most people in there twenty s find it a big struggle bringing up a child, and you're still in school!! you have your whole life ahead of you. think about how much you want to do with your life, all your dreams and plans. then crush them with a big hammer for 18 years. thats what a child would do to your dreams and plans, when you are that age.please do the right thing here, think of your life, your dreams. your mum, i know you will the best thing for you and your family. remember you have a whole life ahead of you.redrosexxx
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female
reader, Broken157 +, writes (19 February 2011):
You are 15. You are too young. Point blank. They say they won't leave, but in most cases i promise you they do. They say one thing, but do another. Guys are all talk. You can say i'm wrong as your reading this, but i know first hand. Having child at your age can cause health problems not only for yourself, but the baby also. Your young, your body is not ready to have a child, finish growing. Wait till you are out of high school. If you have this child there is a good chance you will not finish high school. Then what? Your boyfriend is going to need a lot more the three jobs to pay for all those doctors and hospitals bill. Also watching other peoples kids is totally different then when you have your own. Honey, don't do it. Be a teenager, live, and have fun while you can. Don't have child and miss out because all the partys, friends, and the simple thins go away. So, just wait a few years. If you two are really in love and want a baby you will wait till you have a good job and most importanly when you don't live with your parents.
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