A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 19 year old virgin and know that in the next few months me and my boyfriend, who is also a virgin, are going to have sex. Although I am ALMOST mentally ready, and more physically ready than I thought, I'm still anxious about it, the whole thing. I'm more of a follower than a leader in life generally, therefore in the bedroom I am a receiver not a giver, and I would like to feel more confident about giving rather than always receiveing, which I think will also help with the build up to us actually having sex. I can't help but get embarrased when it comes to things like this, although I did give him a handjob for the first time today, so I know I can't be all that nervous. I just need some advice as to how to take things, seeing as I am totally inexperienced. I want us both to enjoy it and me not feel like a fool.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2011): You need to relax and understand that sex is a thing that improves with practice, education and experience. Read up, listen to Podcasts ("Sex is Fun" is a great one -hours of listening pleasure and info there!).
The primary thing is COMMUNICATION! Talk about how you feel, what you're feeling, what excites you, scares you, gets you off. Given him real time feed back ("that feels good", or "no, like this...") and he'll get better, and you'll enjoy it more.
As for giving, that's where many find more the fun! Giving pleasure is fun!
A
female
reader, hotredhead +, writes (19 February 2011):
 okay you're both virgins so it shouldn't be too awkward just relax and take things slow just enjoy eachother for a bit explore see what tuns you on.Second thing don't be embarassed it's totally natural remember confidence is sexy! The most important thing here is communication talk to eachother and lots of foreplay make sure you're totally ready and comfortable with everything you/he want to do.
Sex won't be amazing for the first time especially not for you but i promise it gets better much better but don't expect too much it puts pressure on you both to perform just relax and enjoy :)
Be safe and have fun!
Hope this was helpful x
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A
female
reader, GettingHelp  +, writes (19 February 2011):
Give each other handjobs and maybe move onto oral sex.
Make sure you're enjoying these things before you move onto actually having sex though.
Google "handjob tips" or "blowjob tips" and they've got plenty of advice to help you feel a bit more comfortable with everything and get better at it. If you feel like you're good at it, you'll feel more confident (always sexy on a girl) and you'll be more comfortable.
But dont do anything you're not 100% comfortable with!
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