A
male
age
36-40,
*d12345
writes:I'm 25, a virgin and have never had a girlfriend. The strange thing is that I've always had more female friends than the average man does. (No, I don't get mistaken for being gay) I'm not a recluse and I cannot understand why other men have so many more opportunities than I do for relationships.There have been a load of time when I think that I'm getting on well with a girl and hoping that it'll develop into a relationship soon, but then it becomes just another friendship. It's great to have friends of course, but I'd like to have a girlfriend at this age. I don't understand why I always fall into the "friends zone". Am I not attractive enough? Am I not flirtatious enough? Does it all depend on the first impression? (I've noticed that I don't always make a great first impression)I must say "Thank you!" to anyone who responds to this.
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flirt, never had a girlfriend Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Ed12345 +, writes (18 October 2010):
Ed12345 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThis is all useful advice. I just wish that I had known this when I was younger and had more time on my hands to find a girlfriend. I'll try my best now, but it's annoying having to work so much at this age. Fingers crossed :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2010): I have some male friends who are in that same situation and they also find it hard to have a girlfriend. What I think the problem is that they treat their female friends all the same. When they like a girl, they treat her as a friend so the girl ends up not knowing that she is wanted. You should send a clear signal that you want the girl. Give her special treatment that you don't give your other female friends like talk to her more often, open the car door for her etc. This way, she would know that you see her in a different light compared to your female friends.
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A
male
reader, Moonknight +, writes (7 October 2010):
 I like your answer xanthic it's good, However Ed12345, the "safe" method has been failing you. so please drop it and try something wild and new, know your place when doing so, i can tell your a good guy and know the limits to wild so no worries there, just don't stick to what doesn't work.
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A
male
reader, Ed12345 +, writes (7 October 2010):
Ed12345 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the quick responses! These answers both say that I must make my intentions clear. You might be right. It's very rare that I make any physical contact with anyone, and I've never felt anyone up the bum. I think it might take a while before I'm willing to try that :)
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A
female
reader, xanthic  +, writes (6 October 2010):
 Make your intentions more obvious, and be confident about it. If a woman doesn't see you're interested in her, she's going to assume you're not. However, I wouldn't suggest taking the route of feeling someone up unless you're just looking for a shag and already know how to recognize the type of girl that would go for that. Otherwise, one of the worst things you could do is invade her personal space and treat her as an object. Women like to feel wanted, but also respected at the same time. Touching 'safe' places like her arm or back are fine and sends a clear message, but anywhere else without the go-ahead first sends a different message and will kill your chances of getting past that first conversation.
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A
male
reader, Moonknight +, writes (6 October 2010):
This is an easy one buddy, when you first meet a potential partner you need to make one thing clear, You need to make you interest in her other than friendship VERY clear.This is all apart of the first impression thing too, once you've made it clear that you want more other than friends she will of course treat you like a potential partner, if you are all respectful and never making a move on her from the moment you need you get stuck in the friends zone, and often when you actually develop a relationship from being friends to start with, the other person doesn't feel the same...It's simple, women don't find it offensive to know that a man wants her, there is no shame in wanting a woman, and women enjoy feeling wanted, so make it clear to her YOU WANT HER.If you are a bit flirty with her a confident feel up on the bum is a good way to show your sexual intent, know your moments though, because this can go horribly wrong, when it goes right though, there is no doubt and she will be on the same page as you, if she is into you or not, that is a different thing. Just always make your intent for more than friendship clear, don't be shy, don't say weak stuff like "i like you a lot" that's what a friend would say, a potential sexy time friend would say something like "I'd like to get to know you from head to toes if you know what i mean"Another tool you should use that you probably don't even notice! women like men who are around a lot of other women, it makes them feel safe around that man and that he is at home with making a woman feel good, so use your female friends to attract other women. this even works with your sister to be honest, going out for the night with your sister will ensure you pull when other female sees how calm and relaxed she is around you.If you doubt this method try it and see for your self...
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