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Magic Number - 5 too many?

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Question - (7 September 2010) 9 Answers - (Newest, 10 September 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, *lsgmatc writes:

I told a close (male) friend of mine my magic number the other day (5). He seemed to think it was pretty high. I can account for these:

1. first time

2. 3 yr relationship

3. short relationship

4. 1 night stand

5. current relationship.

I have a couple of questions: (1) Do you think 5 is high (I'm 22) and (2) Does it bother guys that much? As a girl, it used to bother me (ex-from-hell had a 3 digit number), but in the relationship I'm in at the moment, we love each other for now - I don't know his number, he doesn't know mine, neither of us really care.

Thank you lovelies :)

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A female reader, LiveAnnLearn Serbia +, writes (10 September 2010):

LiveAnnLearn agony auntNO I certainly don't think so, some people just go through experiences faster than others, to some it takes hours and to some months before they're able to have sex with someone but people are all different which is exactly why the magic number can never be "too" high;)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2010):

Mine is zero. And I'm in my thirties.

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A male reader, serenity80 United Kingdom +, writes (7 September 2010):

Why on earth would you tell a male friend how many people you have slept with? 5 seems like a good number to me. You do know this guy you told is obviously in to you. Otherwise he wouldn't have told you the number was high.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (7 September 2010):

Honeypie agony auntI don't think it's a high number. I think the whole disclosure of numbers and who/when/what is ridiculous. Is it ever really important how many/few your partner slept with?

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A female reader, almc Canada +, writes (7 September 2010):

No its not high mine is 5, so don't worry about it.

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (7 September 2010):

tennisstar88 agony auntNo 5 is not high at all. I'm 25 and mine stopped at 16, well I risk sounding like a whore on here..mine rose after I called off my engagement whom I've been with for 4 years the last year no sex at all, well that can aid a girl in making irrational split decisions. It varies from woman to woman, people think my number is high but it doesn't bother me because I was safe the whole time, and I can't exactly turn back time to erase my slate. Now it's a rule of thumb don't ask, don't tell. The past is the past let it lie there. The only thing that matters is you two now, that you are practicing safe sex and both have had their recent STD testing...Papers do matter.

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A male reader, gigolojone Uganda +, writes (7 September 2010):

gigolojone agony auntFor someone that is self righteous,5 is high and for an open minded person,the number doesn't matter because in most cases it is not the way you want things to be but that is how life goes.

Men/guys are very jealous in nature and can not stand the fact that many other guys have been there before them.....so i would suggest you avoid discussing your magic numbers because not everyone who lends you their ear will understand why you have such a magic number.

People should not really care about the number since what you don't know doesn't hurt you in any way.

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (7 September 2010):

dirtball agony aunt1) I don't think that's high. It more depends on the "how it got there" versus the actual number.

2) It will bother some guys more then others.

I think your current relationship sounds like you both have taken the mature approach. It's usually best not to ask if you are at all unsure how you'll deal with hearing something you don't like.

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A male reader, Kenj United Kingdom +, writes (7 September 2010):

Kenj agony auntNo thats not too high.

It may be worth getting STD & HIV tested if you havent been already and ask your current partner to get tested too.

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