A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my ex-boyfriend got a hold of me a few months ago.he tells me he loves me and i sitll love him too.we broke up ten years ago and lost contact.i moved out of state.he recently found me on facebook and we have been talking over the phone and texting. i went back to the state were were from to visit family and i finally saw him after ten years.hes been honest from the beggining that hes married, hes been for seven years, iam also in a relationship have been in one for eight years but im not married to him. we both love each other still very much, he has asked me if i would take him back.i hve two kid with the man i live with and i think of my kids first, but i love adam and i know i will always love him.i dont know what to do?
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male
reader, faenon  +, writes (27 December 2010):
 Ten years is a long time to say you love someone when that relationship broke up ten years ago obviously for a reason. Whats the real motive for him wanting to get back with you after 10years? If he was that keen on you to start with he wouldntve waited ten years to re-establish contact he wouldve tried his hardest to make the relationship the two of you had work to start with.This is a recipe for disaster you have kids you arent married be honest with your other half his married and tries to worm his way back into your life after ten years and how many men say "i'm going to leave my wife to be wife for you' only for the woman to be gulled into being the mistress.There's a saying I like , You can't move forward if constantly living in the past. There was obviously a reason why your relationship with the other guy didn't work leave the past in the past ten years and he creeps back into contact is suspicious in my books it sounds more like his too lazy to make his marriage work.
A
female
reader, MrsTetzlaff +, writes (26 December 2010):
omg, just do it. it sounds to me like you both want to just do it already. :-)
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A
female
reader, Basschick +, writes (26 December 2010):
 You have to be honest with yourself. Were you happy BEFORE he contacted you? If so, then don't be fooled by your lust and curiosity. You're messing with people's lives. And you may be caught up in a fantasy. If you loved your husband before all this happened, don't let yourself get side-tracked. Stay with your husband. Unfortunately, this is why facebook is so dangerous to stable, loving relationships. It puts toooo much temptation at your fingertips.
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A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (25 December 2010):
 This one's a really sad situation. You didn't mention the reasons why you broke up with the ex boyfriend.
Honestly, it sounds like if you go ahead with this, if he wants you badly enough, he should get a divorce. Then you and he have to decide how you're going to mend your breakup.
Just talking about getting back together again and actually doing that without fixing whatever it was the broke you up in the first place is an exercise in organized failure.
Finally, I used to believe in 2nd chances. But I don't see them as being workable without a ton of extra work. Things changed in 10 years. You had kids, he got married and had kids. Both of you moved on assuming that what you had together was over, done with. Finished. Now you're rekindling something which says to me you're both living in a fantasy world.
Honestly, do you want him to break up his marriage for you? Because if you do you better be prepared to put him first. And you said you put your kids first.
Reality check here is that you're asking him to make significant sacrifices for you. Can you say you're willing to do the same for him?
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