A
female
age
41-50,
*ylieekristina
writes:I'm curious....; What is the big deal with anal sex?Guys: Does it feel better than the natural way? If yes or no please explain! Can you tell by the way a woman looks in that area if she has or has not been active in that way? I heard some men like it only because they know a woman has to be very relaxed and trust their partner and it makes them feel special. Ive also heard guys like it because they know it hurts and they feel special that we as women let them do it anyway....like we love them that much or something.Girls: What was your first experience with it. What made you deciede to do it? Do you actually enjoy it? Does it feel good fast or slow or never? Do you always use lube? Are there positions that are easier for you to do it in? Is it possible that my partner may just be too big and thats why when Ive tried I havent liked it, or is it because neither of us really know what the heck we are doing?Guys: Do you like to be licked in that area?I hope this isn't too sexual of a question to ask, I haven't been a part of Dearcupid for very long so sorry if i offended anyone....I've been wanting to ask these things but wasn't sure....it doesn't have any regualtions that I could find that says I'm out of line so sorry if I am.....thanx for the feedback!
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female
reader, kylieekristina +, writes (10 June 2011):
kylieekristina is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you everyone.....in regards to one of the comments asking why bother trying again if i haven't liked it? That's the purpose of me asking the question.... I'm a very open-minded sexual person that is comfortable with my sexuality and my very high sex-drive. I'm all about trying new and exciting things with my man (and my man only) that being said, I wanna do everything a man and a woman can do with each other alone. If I had been doing it right and still didn't like it, I would never do it again....but i wanna try it right, because a few of my friends say it can be amazing. I also love to please my boyfriend beyond what he could ever imagine.....he hasn't earned a threesome yet lol this is as much as he gets for now.....he really doesn't care whether I do it ever again or not. He is 6yrs younger than me and loves to explore new things and has an incrediably large sex drive as well. Thanks again for all of your feedback! Itreally helped me.
A
female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (7 June 2011):
I've only had anal sex a handful of times. I wanted to try it because I tend to like to try things at least once. And you hear about how it can be really good. It hurt like hell. I think I had to work my way up there before actually doing it. It gave me the weirdest sensations, and it hurt. So sometimes I never go past fingering. The times that I actually was able to do it it took quite awhile. Usually I like being lying down on my tummy with my partner lying on top of me. Lots and lots of lube. Lots of fingering beforehand. Maybe even a buttplug. I generally like having a drink or 2 in me to relax me more. And just taking it slow. The beginning part hurts a lot. And if I can get past that, it generally starts to feel pretty good. But if he pulls out or slips out, putting it back in hurts. So I try to get him to stay in and keep stretching me.
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A
male
reader, freeme +, writes (7 June 2011):
 In answer to your question to the men:
Yes I like to be licked there, but only if I've had a shower just prior.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2011): I have done this with a few GF's in the past, the first time was actually because my GF at the time asked me to do it because she loved it so much, It is tighter so can be more intense. If the partner is relaxed thay can also really enjoy it, I do recomend proper lubrication though!
Its not just about domonance as the other answers have said it can be gentile and loving as well.
as far as licking there goes, it can be tingerly but doesnt do a massive ammount for me, hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (7 June 2011):
 I think it's all about dominance.
Ancient Romans were all bisexuals , and there was no stigma attached to having sex with another male AS LONG AS you were the active ( penetrating ) part and the partner was socially inferior ( master/slave,officer/soldier etc. ). On the other end, being on the receiving end was considered a sign of weakness and inferiority ,and "queerness " was ridiculed and disparaged as much as today , and more, as it's shown by the epigrams of numerous Latin poets.
To put it simply : I stick it into your a**,- I am "the Man ", I'm the boss.
I think this may be a more or less conscious motivation even more nowadays, when often men may feel insecure and not virile enough during regular intercourse. Women can be demanding, they WANT their orgasms, one may feel they are judging his performance. They can be more experienced sexually than the man, they can be very comfortable and forward with their sexuality, they can make you feel it's about they getting their pleasure ,not giving yours- and this can wake up all sorts of deep seated insecurities . While , with anal sex the feeling of being in control, to the point of being able to inflict pain or discomfort, may be much more.
As for the difficulties you have experienced so far, don't be surprised, anal sex is definitely an acquired taste, like oysters. For most people, as far as I know, it takes a lot of time, patience, lube and discomfort before actualy being able to accomplish anything, let alone to enjoy it. Which is hardly surprising, since after all the anus is an out , not an in, and was not designed to accomodated objects of the size and consistence of an erect penis. I think the stimulation is way more mental than immediately physical, from the idea of relinquishing control, or of doing something " forbidden" etc. etc.
But, frankly, if you have tried a few times and you did not like it, why exerting yourself to learn and like it ?
Nothing is mandatory in sex, and not all sexual acts are equally enjoyable to everybody. Maybe anal is just not your thing- and so be it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2011):
I am not expert, but I have had anal sex with a woman before and here are my answers:
Does it feel better? Hmmm. Well, not really. It is a little bit tighter, yes, and the resulting feeling is that your cock is bigger. That's not why I like it, though. I like it because it makes me feel dominant and my woman as submissive to me. When being penetrated in that way a woman has to really trust you, but more so she is not able to squirm around as much. She sort of just has to lie there and take it. The man is in almost complete control. Also, my partners tend to be a lot more vocal during anal sex both because of the potential for pain and because to be honest although it doesn't always get them off when they do get off (usually combined with vaginal penetration or rubbing of the clit) they are loud and enthusiastic and overall say they love it (and are surprised that they do.)
No, you can't tell by looking at a woman if she has had anal sex. Maybe if she has had A LOT of anal sex perhaps. I wouldn't know. However, there was no difference in my lover before or after.
I have never been licked there, so I can't really say. I think if it was a turn on then it would be mostly because of how nasty and how turned on a woman must be to get into that. However, I would never return the favor so overall it's not something that interests me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2011): I think for the guys its because its quite a 'tight' place if you know what I mean, its also kind of naughty..so it probably makes them even more excited. Personally I don't get it because why would you want to go anywhere near there
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