A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Guys I need helpMy girlfriend says she is not gay or bi but not 100% straight neither… I am sooooo confused …Although I understand that we shouldn't be putting labels on ourselves but I just don't feel our relationship is secure. Almost all my friends knows her but I don't think any of her friends knows me..(even her best friend ) I know there are some occasions where it is not appropriate to tell or discuss about sexuality with other people but this does not apply to her. I feel as if she is completely denying the fact that she is in a relationship with me. And she told me a few times that if there are chances, she might be even more prefer to have a boyfriend. We've been together for 2 years but our relationship was not so stable.We've broke up for quite a few time.. during the time when we are not together, she often goes back to her ex and I sometimes got myself a new girlfriend.However we'll somehow always find our way to make up again. This has been on and off like a unbreakable cycle between us.Ever since our first break up, our relationship becomes weird….Maybe our relationship is more like a 'need her to be there' rather than 'Im attracted by her'. We don't say 'I love you' to each other like how other couples does. She says its too childish to do so, 'we are all grown ups…as long as we have each other in the heart, it's fine…' etc etcAlso .. we are always breaking up for a similar reason… communication and when I got too sticky. I think maybe we are both being to cool to discuss our feelings with each other?We are doing okay when me+her are face to face. But sadly most times of our relationship is in long distance relationship and I find it really hard to deal with and we often run out of things to say on internet etc…. Im finding myself again in the same situation as before. I am so sick of getting into this endless cycle thing. Maybe we are simply different fishes from different sea? I don't think this will gets any better until when we can finally make it to end this LDR and live together (it will takes 2or 3 more years maybe?). What do you guys think of our relationship? Is it really getting nowhere? Should I really have to end this relationship completely by now??
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female
reader, lilly123  +, writes (11 June 2013):
 i myself have been in a relationship with factors like yours and i officially put an end to it afew days ago after being on and off for the past year ( 2 and a half years in totoal we were together) as hard as it is and believe me i understand how hard it is you need to put an end to it now and try with all youve got to not let yourself find a way back to eachother, just like im doing. if you need to talk about this anymore please feel free to message me and we can talk further
A
female
reader, fishdish  +, writes (19 May 2013):
 Are you sure she is "out"? Sounds like she's hiding you because she's hiding her sexuality, aside from her own ambivalence about her sexuality. When you two break up, does she go back to a male ex?
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (18 May 2013):
 I think living together will not help your relationship. One accepts the girl + girl relationship, and the other denies it. Why? Is she insecure about the relationship, about her sexuality, or is maybe confused about what she really wants? I don't sense that your relationship would go anywhere, even if you two are available to see each other all the time. Until she sorts out what she wants, and who she is, you two will continue this destructive cycle. Find someone who's near you that accepts who they are, and loves you for who you are. I don't care if it's with a boy or a girl, just someone who you relate with, and who is on the same page as you. You will never be truly happy being stuck in this cycle.
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