A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ladies, would you ever change your personality for your boyfriend? Personality as in being more assertive, more sexy or just overall more "loving" to them even though you have been doing just fine since your relationship kicked off. Just a simple question I would like to know. Thank you. x Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2011): I do not think ANYONE can change their personality permanently. Behavior yes personality no. Always be true to yourself changing for someone else is not being true to yourself or honest with your partner.
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (5 February 2011):
Depends on what it is. If I think changing something about my personality would make me a better person, I would. For example, I used to be extremely insecure up to the point it held me back in life.
For example, I didn't like to drive with other people in the car because I was afraid they might think I was a bad driver and/or navigator. My boyfriend forced me to drive whenever we went somewhere togther until I was over my irrational fear. In this case it's something about me that should be changed, but because it's easier to avoid than to do something about it, I didn't change until he came along.
I think it's fair in a relationship to adapt to eachother and being open for criticism so both can become better people.
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A
male
reader, Kenj  +, writes (4 February 2011):
 From a guys point of view I wouldn’t want a woman to change her personality for me.
Personality is what makes the person, changing it is just putting on a false image and you can’t get to know each other properly.
My girlfriend has picked up little traits of mine as I have hers, sayings, mannerisms etc... but that’s as far as it goes on changing personality.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2011): I can't lie: I WISH I could be more assertive, loving, and sexy, and I try to challenge myself to be these things.
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A
female
reader, Manya +, writes (4 February 2011):
Don't do it! Don't change your personality for a man. He will walk all over you and you will wind up submerging yourself into him until one day you get very angry, and then, if you still have the strength, you will leave unless you are too beaten out of shape.
What TasteofIndia is talking about is not really changing her essense (identity), but compromising her way by being more affectionate,for example.Bcause you wish to show love. Probably she had that capacity for showing affection, and he brought it out. Sometimes love can change you more to yourself or to your best self, and that is the best kind of love! But it is still yourself.
Most guys feel the best thing you can do is BE yourself so that you give them the privilege of wooing you.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (4 February 2011):
 I'd have to give a general no. I don't feel like I should have to even tweak my personality, that's not who I am. That person got into the relationship knowing that this is who am I me, this is what you get.
I maintain a certain amount of loving in a relationship, anything more I believe is just overkill and makes me look clingy. One needs to maintain a certain amount of independence in the relationship.
Is this a personal request made by a man? If you're not one who just throws yourself at the guy covering him in kisses to begin with, then it's going to be hard to make yourself be more loving overall.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (4 February 2011):
 That's a tricky question. I wouldn't change my identity, but I might shift my personality a bit. If my fella needs me to be more loving to them, that is something I will listen to and consider.
For instance, my fella is SUPER affectionate. Really craves attention and touching and extra love. Ordinarily, my 'personality' is somewhat distant and not super affectionate. But I've adjusted to cater more to him, and he has adjusted to cater more to me. I suppose that is a personality shift, but it has made our relationship so much better. The change didn't hurt me, really change my core character or upset my life.
If you don't feel good about changing something about yourself, you shouldn't do it. Sometimes change is a good thing, though. Good luck!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2011): No, just be yourself. In the end it is the best way to let someone get to know you.
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A
female
reader, chita22  +, writes (4 February 2011):
 I would never ever change who I am as long as I'm happy about myself. If the man doesn't love you the way you are then why is he with you in the first place. Obviously, he chose you for the way you were when he met you. If the guy is not happy, tell him to move on so you can do the same. I hope you stay the way you are, unless you decide you want to change for the better.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 February 2011):
 I would not change my personality for anyone but myself. And even then it would be hard.I can change how I behave in terms of being more attentive, if I feel the need, but that's not a personality trait.
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