A
male
age
36-40,
*amen Somasu
writes:My body has always been late in everything to deal with the subject of sex. I lost my virginity when I was 17. The first time I ever masturbated was when I was 19. I didn't even hit puberty until I was 16. Whereas men typically hit their peak sexual years between 17-21, I am a 25 year old men that senses his body changing once again to hit my sexual peak. Supposedly, my peak is supposed to last a bit longer than 5 years.Is this normal? And does that mean I am too sexually inexperienced for a woman my age? (the median 25 year old American woman has had roughly 35 sexual partners by this point).
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 April 2011):
 oy vey!
I'm 51. I'm hot. I'm as sexually fired up at this point in my life as I've ever been... just ask my 37 yr old boyfriend who can barely keep up with me.
At 25 I was married with children and had not had many partners. I think that book you hold so dear to your heart sounds much like garbage to make men feel better about themselves. My degree in Psychology tells me so...
What I see for you is a long lonely future with yourself until you figure out that WOMEN are PEOPLE too.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (17 April 2011):
 I'm familiar with that book. That book was published in 1996 and is regarded as "fringe psychology" - that means it is not supported by actual scientific evidence. I would be careful as to the books and sources you take as truth. Many claims from that book have been discredited as fictional. I'm just finishing my BA in Psych, and we've addressed a lot of (offensive) incorrect theories from that book. If you base your knowledge about women on that book, you have destroyed potentially good, fulfilling, loving relationship with crap created by Robin Baker. Be careful with what you claim as truth.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (17 April 2011):
 Then I am afraid you are visiting the wrong European countries.
I don't know about Ukraine and Poland, but I know Scandinavian countries and Scandinavian women. They are well known for being fiercely independent, not much family oriented, and not at all marriage oriented. In Sweden,over 50% of the population is composed by singles ( 59% in Stockholm. Over 50% of children are born from unmarried couples. Divorce rate is 43% ( not that bad- but then again, they don't get married that much to begin with ).
Slightly better in the other two countries, but the difference is minimal.
Scandinavian women will demand , well, not even demand, simply EXPECT from you a level of cooperation in domestic chores and management that's unheard of in the most " liberated " parts of USA. You won't have to hide your income, because, believe me, an income of 55 to 65K is not likely to impress anybody over there.
Plus, they are traditionally... I don't even like the word " promiscuous " because it has such negative ,condemning connotations, but surely they have a very spontaneous, experimental ,light hearted approach to sexuality. Of course there are individual exceptions , and Norwegians virgins ( very young, though :) or strictly monogamous Swedish women, but ...that's not the way their society it's oriented in general.
I wish you good luck, but frankly I doubt you will find what for you is " wife material " there.
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A
male
reader, Jamen Somasu +, writes (17 April 2011):
Jamen Somasu is verified as being by the original poster of the question By the way, there is no such thing as a "sexual peak" for women. What you call a sexual peak is simply the increase in testostorone production in the female body (which happens roughly on her late 20s and early 30s). She naturally becomes a bit more independent-minded and assertive. That is why that woman starts desiring other men, to the point where she would destroy her entire family to have that "high" she gets from doing so. This happens because nature, being the great balancer it is, gives every female primate a more aggressive approach to compete with the younger females (in our species, a woman's peak on looks, as well as her most fertile years, is between the ages of 17 to 22 on average). Since males would naturally prefer the younger, more fertile female over the old and less fertile, the female is designed to be more aggresive in its approach of other males to be competitive.
Unsurprisingly, promiscuous women, as well as women with a promiscouos past (never mind those who discarded their femininity) will be more prone to allow those hormones to control her (no least thanks to having no practice at controlling themselves when they were light in comparison earlier in her life). If you are a single mother in your 20s, obviously you made your choices.
And when I though deeply about this, I realize that the great bulk of American women fit into all of this. That clears it up to me as to why foreign women are becoming a popular choice today.
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A
male
reader, Jamen Somasu +, writes (17 April 2011):
Jamen Somasu is verified as being by the original poster of the question"The median American woman has had roughly 35 sexual partners by the time she is 25" comes from the book "Sperm Wars". I highly recommend it to all men. It deals with female promiscuity, infidelity, and more. I trust the sources on that book far more than some cheap experiment from a website. In a nutshell, I have hit psychology books for the past 6 months like my life depended on it and it has changed me a great deal (and made me far wiser). Now, that hot girl who I would have had a mad crush 8 months ago is pretty disgusting despite her outward appearance.Well, a while back I asked whether I should simply become promiscuous. I know the game and it took me 2 weeks to be fairly good at picking up women to take to my room (I made some lame excuse as to why I couldn't go no further. In reality, it was simply me experimenting). I have less than 1 year and 7 months years left on my BS degree in Network and Communications management. With 3 years of savings, an MBA is very possible within 6 years (starting salary is as low as 55k to as high as 65k, depending on where you are at).I made a sane choice in not being promiscuous. I value having a family together. With my degree, finding a job in the IT industry will be no problem (jobs requiring my degree are highly sought after). In order to have a family, I need a women that will be loyal to me (I do not want a robot or a maid). To be loyal, she must have the heart, intellect, and know why morals are so important in one's life (something eradicated in America). Most of all, she must value her femininity (which most American women doesn't). Couple with my sexual inexperience, I finally understand why more and more American men are opting to go overseas; simply put, I am not picking up the tab on women who had a great party, a party I was not invited to or wanted at.Basically, after finishing my degree, I will take excursions overseas to find a wife (without letting her know of my financial status until the last possible moment, of course). I am currently saving up for a trip next summer to Poland, Ukraine, Denmark, Sweden and Norway. I am more than halfway there.We good guys do not finish last (only the desperate and needy do); we finish well.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (17 April 2011):
Where in the WORLD did you hear that by 25 most women have had 35 partners?!?
http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/PollVault/story?id=156921&page=1
This was pretty interesting. Among all the stats, one of them said that the female total sex partner average was 5. 5!! And that's an average. So please do not think that you are surrounded by über sexed up women. Wherever you got this 35, well that source sucks and is full of lies!!
Guys with less experience are catches. I would think that the majority of women would be looking for a fella with as few sexual partners as possible. The more sex partners a guy has had, the more paranoia and self-consciousness can get in the way. We ladies have a tendency to worry about you comparing us to past trysts, so the less baggage you've got, the happier a lot of us will be. Some women may care about your experience. Any girl who does is not the type you want to be with - they are focused on sex exclusively and not intimate connection.
No worries about sexual peaks. Don't worry so much about the numbers, when things are supposed to happen, all these expectations. Everyone goes by their own schedule, let yourself go by the one natural to you. And yes, women's sexual peaks on average, come much later then mens. You've got that going for you too. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (16 April 2011):
 Women your age are closer to their peak, so seems to me that would be a better way to "catch up" as it were.
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