A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I really dont know what to do. Normally I am a happy postive person who's always helping other people out. but lately i haven't felt like this person at all, I've felt this way for quite a while now, although others can't see it as i hide it well by going on as if everything is fine and still trying to be like i normally am. I dont want to change into this person i'm becoming because i hate feeling how I do.I feel as if I've lost all confidence in myself. I don't feel I can even talk to new people or friends like i use to be able to do really easily, because i keep thinking they are judging me or becasue I don't know what to say.I rate my self as being the lowest in everything out of my friends. Also i seem to have lost most of my motivation to do anything anymore, which is not like how i am at all as i am normally very active. I do not want to blame this on my relationships i have but i seem to have begun feeling this way after i got togeather with my boyfriend of 6 months, as he was down quite alot in our relationship due to other things in his life, i had to help him with this and try and make him think positive although i beleive by having to do this I 've lost my postive ways and know he has gained his. I know that this is nothing compared to what some people are going through which is why i feel so stupid for feeling how i do, but I can't stop feeling this way and have tried talking to everyone i can, although it helps for a while it doesnt last. please help if you can.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2007): Hello,Do you exercise? Do you exercise every day for at lees 30min?Do you eat well or have enough Vitamin and minerals every day?Do you smoke?Do you drink? Do you take any drugs?If you can exercise very day - even just walking for 30min.Take two tablet multi vitamins/ mineral every day for 30 days, you will feel better.
A
female
reader, LittleTwoLegs +, writes (5 April 2007):
 Do you have a parent figure you can go to about this, or a mentor? Tell him or her about what you've been feeling, and let them know that even though they've seen you happy and carrying on fine, you're actually having thoughts that are continuously weighing you down. Most likely they won't be able to help you directly, but they can get you to a counsellor or psychologist.
I know what you're thinking: "I don't need therapy! I'm not crazy!" Don't worry, most people who *seek* help like this aren't crazy, they're just smart and they care about who they are, which you seem to as well. When I was in high school there was a time I felt similar to what you're feeling, and I did this. I went to this psychologist two times, and one time I even saw a friend in the waiting room which was really nice, so you'd be surprised but this isnot uncommon especially with the pressures high school gives everyone. Nonetheless, it was good to get my thoughts out to a professional, but I found that she was so bizarre and at a loss that I felt a LOT better about myself! At least I wasn't some 50 year old with bad plastic surgery, scribbling on paper while pretending to listen to this kid's problems! Haha, that's a funny way to recover, but it got my head out from under the rainclouds and back into a breezy sunshine.
I recommend not going to school counsellors because I knwo they're good for nothing in high school...but please do as I advised. You may end up going only twice like me, you may end up going more, but at least you're taking the steps you need to to get better, and that in itself might help you to start feeling better.
Best of luck!
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A
female
reader, Patient1 +, writes (5 April 2007):
 You know, I have been through the same exact thing, and though I wish I had the answer for you as to why this happens, I don't. It could be a phase or a chemical imbalance or something unexplainable. I never persued an answer as to why the change took place with me, but I know it's worth looking into. It's not a good feeling to feel like you've lost youself, especially the self that you like and makes you feel good inside. I can tell you that it's happened to me on more than one occasion. I'll start to bounce back and feel like that self again that I like and then out of the blue I can wake up the next day and it's gone. I would truly recommend discussing this with your doctor, have him/her check for any chemical imbalances first. If that's what it is it can be corrected and you can feel like yourself again, the self that you like. No one spends more time with youself than you, and if you don't like yourself, chances are others won't either. You're still young, don't wait forever like I did. If it's not a chemical imbalance then at least that will be elimated as the problem. I'm sure your doctor will be able to help you in this matter, don't be afraid to tell him or her exactly how you feel. It's not a comfortable feeling, I know, so don't hold yourself back from the answer, and if you do figure out why this happens, could you let me know! Thanks. The best advice I have for you is to not just let this go, seek the answer and you'll feel much better. If you wait like I have, you'll regret it. I wish you the best of luck!
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A
female
reader, Lia  +, writes (5 April 2007):
 Hi there
Firstly, let me just say that you shouldn't feel stupid for feeling like this! Everyone goes through this at some stage.
In fact, I can totally relate to what you said about your relationship. I was recently in a relationship where I had to help and support my partner, with the result that I totally forgot about myself and his negativity and depression rubbed off on me!
I think what you need to do is start focusing on yourself. What makes you happy? What are your interests? Once you surround yourself with things that make you happy, it will make you feel like you again.
However, what you said about losing motivation and rating yourself as lowest among your friends made me think that maybe you're suffering from a bout of depression? I can tell because, once again, that's what I've been through a few times. Sometimes life impacts us and we don't even realize how its affecting us until we stop and feel down. It's good that you're analyzing what you're feeling and why. It's also good to talk about it (as you are). Why not keep a journal and try to get to the bottom of your feelings? That can be very therapeutic. Write down a list of all your good qualities - this will also keep things in perspective when it comes to thinking that you are not as good as other people. Keep the list with you and whip it out when you need a bit of a boost and reality check!
Then I must just say that if you've been feeling like this for over two weeks, it's a good idea to chat to your doctor because it could be depression and not just a bout of the blues. He/she will be able to help you out, so it's worth booking an appointment. After all, it's never nice to feel like this. Hope you feel better. Please don't hesitate to write again. Let us know how it goes, okay?
xxx
Lia
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