A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok here goes I am 16 years old and my fiance is 20 years old we are now 9 weeks pregnant and we have been together for a while, I was 15 when we got together and I'm about to be 17 in September. I want to marry him but my parents hate him and don't want me even talking to him but he doesn't know, it would hurt him if he knew. I know I need to be honest but I love him and I never want to see him hurt and I don't care what my parents say I'll always love him, I want to get married and I keep putting him off and it's breaking our relationship. I'm ready and everything but my parents wont sign the papers. I tried to tell him that but he says just beg them but the won't give me the time of day.Earlier this year he got put in jail for sleeping with me and we have made it through that, I'm tired of hiding us and want to take that step of marriage but I'm not sure how when noone wants us together, I'm real stressed and fear I'm going to lose the baby I just went through a D and C with the last pregnancy I had, me and my fiance go pregnant in like January and the baby died, I'm guessing due to me stressing out all the time and I don't want that. please advise please .............
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female
reader, i might be a girl but i can help  +, writes (9 July 2007):
 first of all ur parents have control of u till ur 18 so till than there is no point tryin to make them like ur bf. and i can understand why the don't like him he is a bit older than u, i no my dad doesn't like my bf his 22 and im 17 but i can understand why, but anyway ur bf got u pregent so that makes it worse give them time and talk to ur bf about it all and try to get on with ur parents i no its hard and u probably really hate them right now but remember u r still young and u think tht now u have a baby together the next step is marriage but just think forever with this guy u won't experience it with any1 else but him good luck hope u will be ok
A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (9 July 2007):
 Hi im 16, my boyfriend is 20, 21 in 3 weeks. we got together when i was 15, and he was 19 ( 20 in a week ). my mum was ok, kinda about us going out, as she knew we had a sex life, soon into the relationship.. she kept her eye on us etc.. but the thing is, your parents are protecting you, you are still their lil baby girl.. why didn't your bf ask your parents before proposing, or did you propose? You should really have the baby and then decide to get married, at a later age.. I'm not sure but don't you have to be 18 without parents permission to marry? mail me if u wanna talk x x x x
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A
female
reader, LauraE +, writes (9 July 2007):
Hi there,
I absolutely agree with flower girl. Your parents are behaving like this because they love you and want the best for you. You think they are wrong, but you have done a good job of proving them right so far.
You are pregnant, so you have to deal with it. The way to show them that you are grown up enough to know what is best, is to take a mature attitude to this pregnancy. This means putting the baby first – before your personal happiness for the time being. To do this, concentrate on keeping well and bringing a healthy baby into the world, and give up on changing their minds for a while.
All your parents know of your boyfriend so far is that he had underage sex with you. By doing that, he did his best to destroy any liking which your parents might have had for him, and now he has a major uphill struggle ahead to change their minds. He has to prove that he is dependable, responsible and committed. You are convinced that he is, but you can’t expect your parents to be convinced without evidence. They would be failing in their duty towards you if they let you go ahead with your plans as young as you are.
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (9 July 2007):
 I think you are going to have to prove to your parents that you are grown up enough to do this.
Whats the rush you are having a baby with him thats by far enough commitment at your age.
If i was in your parents shoes i would not agree to signing the papers either, but hey the only reason they are doing this is because they love you.
You have not been together long and been through so much already, so if you are that strong you can ride this one out and wait until you don't need permission.
If the fact you are not able to get married yet is already putting a strain on your relationship, then maybe you are not as strong as you would like to think.
Take care.xx.
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A
female
reader, queenS  +, writes (9 July 2007):
i don't mean to sound harsh but your parents have a point, you are young and you and your boyfriend were not responsible to make a child at the age of 16. but what is done is done.lets look at this situation from your parents point of view, their sweet child is not only sexually active but she is also pregnant that has to be a hard blow and i guess that is the reason they dont like your boyfriend very much. my advice, there is little you can do at this moment and the law is against you so stop stressing as it is not good for the baby. live with them until you 18th birthday and decrease having sex with your boyfriend we dont want him in jail again. tell you boyfriend to get a job so that your parents see that he is getting responsible. if you cant marry him now there is no rule that says you cant start planning for your future. he should get a flat, furniture and staff so after you get married you already have a house to move into. beliieve me if you parent see how serious he is they will like him guaranteed.
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A
female
reader, TaylorChu +, writes (9 July 2007):
 If you parents wont sign the papers there is nothing you can do. You arent of adult age and I am going to guess that you still live with your parents and they take care of all your needs. You best bet is to stay at home, have your child and when you are old enough (considered an adult) marry your guy. Other than that the law will always be on the side of your parents and you guy will get in trouble for having sex with you because you are underage. Stop stressing and look at all the possibilities.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (9 July 2007):
 I'm afraid you can't force people to like someone. That comes naturally.
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