A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have 3 kids and I'm engaged to be married. I've been with my fiance for almost a year now and one thing he says really bother me when we have sex. He always says my vagina is really tight and how he loves having sex with me. His average size down there and I can feel him inside me. But he says it I'm tight every time we have sex and it bothers me because I have 3 kids and I know I'm not as tight as I use to be, so sometimes I feel he just say that to make me feel good. Is this something I should be making a big deal about?
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male
reader, doublejack +, writes (8 June 2012):
The tightest woman I've been with to this point was the mother of two children. I have been with women who haven't had any kids who were not nearly as tight as her. I personally don't feel there's any correlation between having children and tightness, as I haven't found one in my first hand experiences.
So I would believe your fiance. He's probably telling you the truth, that you feel tight to him and he enjoys the sex.
Best of luck!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2012): If you can feel him, he can feel you. He is complimenting you and he is telling you the truth...a womans vagina can stretch to accomadate a baby's head, BUT the muscles also can contract snugly around a man during intercourse. While childbirth and age can loosen things up...using these muscles and being in decent physical shape help keep things tight.It is only too much sex if either of you feels like it is...otherwise it is just the right amount for your relationship. Don't compare your sex life with others...it isn't a fair comparison to make because every intimate relationship is different and what works for one couple doesn't always work for others.As far as role playing goes, if you both enjoy it, then continue. If he is being too rough or hurting you and you don't say anything when it is happening he doesn't realize he is being too rough and probably thinks that you enjoy him doing things that way. The best time to say something is just when things are becoming too rough or starting to hurt. Tell him gently that he is being a little to rough, and you would like him to go a little slower. Also, if he is going rough and fast at the same time, there is the potential for you to become dry which causes friction and can be unpleasant. By encouraging him to go slower for a little while, you can create more natural lubricant and he can resume at a faster pace without causing discomfort once this happens. Also, if you do not already, you can bring up the use lubricant (like regular astroglide or ky jelly) to eliminate discomfort when he wants to go hard and fast.Finally, if you are getting a bit burned put on the role play, tell him that you find him incredibly sexy and would enjoy some sessions that are anout just the two of you making sensual love to one another. You can arouse one another with sensual massage and take things from there...maybe find someone like a family member who can watch your children at their house and enjoy an evening together with some lingerie, sexy food play, a bath, candles, and more. Focus on your love of one another and express it while leading up to and making passionate love together.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (8 June 2012):
 I wouldn't want to have sex the same way each time either, it gets really boring and if it's always rough then you probably crave a bit of tenderness now and then. That's normal and reasonable and you should tell him. I once had a partner who always wanted to have sex a certain way - it was OK, even fun, the first few times, then got boring and eventually it became totally unenjoyable.
Maybe, perhaps, the "tight" comments are part of his role playing fantasises. I hope the role playing isn't creepy "older man with much younger women who's so lovely and tight and must be a virgin" stuff. I doubt it's that but if it makes it uncomfortable at all, it's perfectly reasonable to bring this up with him in conversation.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (8 June 2012):
 Is it too much sex? for you? with three kids.. maybe.. if you are asking perhaps it's too often.
As for being tight.. if he says sex is good then relax.
sounds to me however that there may be some issues.
if you don't mind it rough then that's good but if you want it differently now and then you have to talk to him about it...
tell him that you love xxxx but can we yyyy once in a while please?
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A
male
reader, Dr.LanceMerryweather +, writes (8 June 2012):
 Hmm, if he says it EVERY time, then I can understand your misgivings.
Anyway, if you have any doubts, then why haven't you done anything about it? I'm assuming that you're aware of the various exercises you can do to correct the problem?
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (8 June 2012):
It's a compliment! Even if you're not as tight as you once were and he's trying to make you feel good, isn't that still a positive rather than a negative? You're obviously not 'loose' down there so it's not like he could be making fun of you. Enjoy!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI do enjoy our sex life and I enjoy having sex with him. Maybe I'm just being self-conscious about it. He also likes having rough sex with me I do as well, but not all the time. Him in the other hand wants it rough most of the time, and he always wants to role play.. I know he really enjoys having sex with me because everytime his around me he wants it and we have sex at least 2 or more times a day. Is this to much sex?
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (7 June 2012):
 Look at it this way - you are here complaining that your boyfriend tells you how much he enjoys having sex with you. What would you rather him say, how rubbish having sex with you is?!
He enjoys sex with you. I presume you enjoy sex with him. You can still feel him inside you, therefore you dont have any issues with being too loose. So stop worrying and be happy you have a great sex life!
There are so many people on this site who have rubbish sex lives, their boyfriend's never compliment them and they are really unhappy. Whereas you have a fiance who compliments you and enjoys sex with you, I think you need to learn to accept the compliment and get on with it!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (7 June 2012):
Not at all. He's clearly very happy with you, and I'm sure he means what he says.
Let this go, focus on having fun.
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