A
female
age
30-35,
*outure816
writes:Hey, Okay here's the deal. I am a junior in highschool. I really really like my history teacher. I'm 17 (legal in the state of Missouri) He is in his early thirties. I'm not just attracted to his looks, he is definately no Brad Pitt, he is just an average guy in his thirties. I love his personality mostly, and he has a sexual aura about him that drives me crazy. He is a big flirt. He always talks to me for like 10 minutes before class. He's so awesome. He isn't afraid to let his guard down and show his silly side instead of his serious teacher side. I wouldn't mind a "special ; )" student-teacher relationship. In fact, I'd be ecstatic. How do I know if he is interested in being more than a friend? If he does want this, how do I get him to trust me? I would never tell anyone, so there's no way his career would be ruined by anyone finding ouy that he is 'dating' a student. If you're just going to tell me to forget about, grow up, or anything like that. Then do not bother replying.I just need advice.
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female
reader, couture816 +, writes (29 May 2008):
couture816 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah, I'm not going to be doing anything illegal. I just like to flirt :P who doesn't?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2008): He TOUCHED you?? Just because he can sense the attraction doesn't make it all right. It's not okay for him to break the rules by getting physical (even if you liked it, LOL). Seriously, he seems a bit, I don't know, underhanded to me. Even hearing about him from your perspective made me suspicious. Not a good sign.
Here's the deal with those flirty guy teachers: A lot of the time such teachers start out as nerdy kids and avid students, they don't get much attention from the ladies. Especially since he's, as you said, "no Brad Pitt." When they become the young and by default "hot teacher," they get pretty full of themselves. They often get carried away with the amount of attention showered on them by young, pretty teen girls. Mostly they don't take any of these girls seriously, because they know they're just kids compared to them. On the other hand you have the male teachers who DO take some of the more forward girls seriously and end up on the evening news.
If you really like this teacher of yours and you know him to be a good guy, not the creep I'm picturing, then do yourself and him a favor-- wait until you graduate to ask him out. Don't let him take advantage of you in the mean time-- no copping a feel or intimidating you. It's NOT okay, even if you do like him. I mean, it wouldn't be okay for him to feel you up on a first date, so a classroom is hardly any better, is it?
If he is a good person and genuinely interested in you he won't mind waiting until you're no longer a high school student. If he just wants you for sex or to boost his ego then he will accept your advances (PLEASE don't make any towards him before graduation) or make some of his own. PLEASE don't do something that will embarrass you for years to come and hurt your self-esteem. More importantly, don't do or allow him to do something that will land him in jail and ruin your freakin' rep. It would be MORTIFYING. Be wise, be mature. You're seventeen!! You have just a little while to go! Believe me, if you guys have a promising future together (not necessarily marriage, but at least a good relationship), it will be well worth the wait.
On a final note, I don't see anything wrong with SUBTLE flirting. No touching, no overt stuff that could get either of you in trouble or under supervision. Flirting takes away some of the stress brought on by school and passes the time. Also boosts the self-esteem. Work it. Just be smart. No one should be allowed to take advantage of you.
(I wrote this because I have a tendency to fall for teachers; last teacher I liked announced to our class he was getting married, yowch. It was only after that I realized I didn't genuinely love him as I'd thought.)
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female
reader, couture816 +, writes (19 April 2008):
couture816 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell thank you so much, Last week he heard me singing and he said it was beautiful. I haven't really gotten a chance to talk to him lately, we have a deck in front of his class that we usually talk on, but lately it's been raining.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2008): haha when i read your question i couldnt help but think "wow..this is EXACTLY how i feel" i am also 17 (the legal age in illinois) and a junior in high school and well, im going through the same thing. its not exactly my teacher but my dean who's got my heart in knots. i have spent more time with him than ANY other staff or student in my school. he has been there with my every problem and had a shoulder for me to cry on when things were bad at home. he put up with my cussin out teachers, ditching class, and getting suspended but idk..it feels like i can do anything when i am near him and i cannot go a day without him. i evn look for his car in the morning outside after 1st period to make sure he's at school tht day haha. but, like you, i really wouldnt mind getting in a serious relationship with him..ya kno, a more than teacher-student relationship. the thing is tho, i have promised myself too that i would keep the secret but ppl tlk ya kno. thts just how they are..it has happened to me so many times. ill have kids come up to me b/c they saw me with my dean goin.."ooo how's ur lover"..crap like tht. but coming from someone totally sympathyzing with u..i say flirt it up girl. get as much time with him as u can but take it slo. i kno every1 says to wait til u graduate and maybe u should but for now..u gotta follow ur heart. i try to tell myself tht too and it works sometimes. as for figuring out whether he feels the same way tht is gonna b a lil bit harder. just pay close attention to how he treats u...does he try to get alone time with you? does he stand extra close, tlk about his personal life, compliment u? things like tht.. good luck :] hopefully we'll both get our fairy tale endings
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2008): I can relate..and I realize that it's better to wait until I'm out of high school, then there are less laws to have to worry about, and what my parents think about it won't really matter because I'm an adult, college-bound, and free to do what I want. Good luck, gurl :)
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female
reader, couture816 +, writes (11 January 2008):
couture816 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you everyone :D
what is your msn tevote?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2008): Hey its fine, i understand, falling in love or deeply caring about someone has nothing to do with age. Just let it work itself out, it sounds like you 2 are way close, so i wouldnt rush. =] good luck!
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female
reader, Tevote  +, writes (8 January 2008):
 Hello i'm in the same situation. Let me just say don't let anyone tell you that it's just a stupid crush or something. Or that it's just stupid because it's not and only you know how you truly feel. I'm not sure how to get him interested...if you add me on msn then we could talk more and stuff and I can share more of the things that i know....Well I think i know anyways lol. If you're ever in a room with him alone or with other ppl try to see how many times he looks at you if its more than 3 times id say he probably feels something more for you.
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female
reader, Amy2007x  +, writes (18 December 2007):
 first off, may i say to a certain sum1 in this forum thing- jst bcoz she might wnt a lil attention from her teacher doesnt mean she aint loved or whtever... i come from a stable family and a really family life... yet i still wnt more attention from my teacher... so to wnt attention now tht makes you wht? not loved and from a unstable bkground...
ps dnt judge sum1 jsut becoz they wnt sum attention its jsut so wrong...
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2007): If a 30's male teacher was asking for advice on how to go after his 17-year-old student, would everyone still be giving him advice and support for it?
Of course not. He'd be called a sick pedophile for even thinking about doing it. Abuse of a position of authority, etc.
Double standard.
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female
reader, couture816 +, writes (22 November 2007):
couture816 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys.
Well last week I was talking to him and after class he kind of touiched my butt. I don't know if it was an accident or on purpose because he said my name at the same time. What the hell does this mean?
oh and anila, what is your aim yahoo or msn? You said we should discuss this further.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007): heyy i had the same problem!
just kind of take the jokes to a sexual or funyy way.like for example:
he coaches tennis and he was like come outs side i was like no its cold he said put a jacket on i said no u come inside he said no cuz its hot i said them take you clothes off!
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2007): how long have you guys been like this. maybe you should give it more time and see if there is "really" something going on. why don't u pm me n we'll talk more about this.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007): If you are really that serious about it, then talk to him about it. First, find out if he has a girlfriend. If he doesn't, ask him what he does for fun. Then, ask him if he would like to go out sometime. Just be sure that your state doesn't have any laws forbidding sexual contact between teachers and students. We have such a law here in Texas that makes it a crime if teachers have sex with a student, even if the student is legal age (also 17 here in Texas).
Your parents probably won't approve of this relationship, so you may have to keep it a secret from them.
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female
reader, Zanza +, writes (9 November 2007):
 I know you sont want to hear that this is a bad idea. But it is! Everyone goes through a stage where they have a "crush" on at least one of their teachers. But thats exactly what he is, YOUR TEACHER! Schools have rules about those things, students and teachers having relationships. Its wrong. He could lose his job, and no school would want him after hearing about something like this. If you really like him, you will just leave him alone or you are going to screw both of you over.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2007): My advice? Don't go for it, even if you are legal. While it might be awesome while it lasts, it very well might be awkward afterwards, your teacher might be pissed at you, et cetera. There are so many ways this could go wrong, and only one way that it could go right. Point is, it's hard to simultaneously retain a teacher-student and a romantic relationship. Really hard.Plus, I'm not even sure it's legal even if you are of age. Anyone know what the teacher-student relationship in public schools policy is? He could be fired, I know that for sure.
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female
reader, selflove-always-first +, writes (8 November 2007):
 Please love yourself, it is so beatiful and classy to do that. As a woman is important to keep that in mind. I think the reason you want to get his attention is because you don't feel loved at home and you are looking for it outthere. Think twice cause yo may be subject to his abuse and that hurts way more that seducing or having a crush on him. Love yourself please.
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