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anonymous
writes: I have been going out with my boyfriend for a few weeks and he is really romantic and does lots of gestures and he is getting obsessed with me. I don't like this and want to finish it but he is way too nice to tell him! I can't tell him to his face because he keeps telling me how lucky he feels! I am stuck because I don't want to break his heart but I don't fancy him no more. What shall I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2005): let him down as gently as possible he will most probably cry to make you feel guilty but dont give into him if he tries lots of romantic gestures and tries to win you back just tell him he could make someone else very happy
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2005): Tell him as early as possible in your relationship that you don't have the same feelings toward him. The longer he feels "into" you, the harder it is going to hit him to find out that you don't care for him. This is a common situation. Only mutually attracted people should start, or continue any relationship.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2005): At least someone is loving you...and you should appreciate that..and if you dont feel the same way..dont be mean..tell him the truth...dont try to avoid him or blocking his phone number...makes him want you more.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2005): I went through the same. It's so hard, but hey remember you deserve someone you fancy too. Would he date someone he didn't fancy? the answer is prob NO! so be kind to yourself and get out of this situation. He will get over it, he has too. Don't wait to long honey, I waited 4 months - Rather I wasted 4 months worrying & stressing about hurting his feelings. Hope this helps.
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reader, Rainee  +, writes (13 May 2005):
 It might be that he could just be very insecure with himself, and is doing everything possible to make you happy so you don't run off - all the while not knowing that he's just making you claustrophobic. He needs to know then that he should just relax and be the nice normal guy you liked in the first place. And if you still don't want him, it's not fair to keep him hanging on when he obviously likes you. If he really is obsessive you must tell him to stop, and tell him /now/. People like that need to be told straight away when their affections are unwanted because they will continue unabated. Make it firm, but don't go to such extremes as humiliating him in front of people just to drive it home - if thwarted like that, obsessive people can become violent and plot revenge, and you REALLY don't want someone thinking of you in that way, right? A good talk with the guy is in order.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2005): I am going through the same thing too and this guy thinks that I'm "the one", his destiny, and I'm stuck too, so I hope I can find answers too :(
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2005): Hiya hunny. I really hate to say this but sometimes we have to be cruel to be kind. You would be better of telling him how you really feel rather than stringing him along as he will really resent you for that because it will hurt him even more than being truthful with him. If you are OK with being friends, but don`t want to take it further with this guy for whatever reason you need to let him down gently but firmly by simply saying simply that.It may well hurt him initially but I am sure he will get over it a lot more easily than if you keep giving him false hope. I hope I have helped you a little with this. Thank you take care and good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2005): Stop being a nasty bitch for once in your life, you stated boyfriend, so you're both in a relationship together, why are you boyfriend/girlfriend if you don't feel the same about him as he does you?Why have you got a boyfriend you don't even like?Sounds like you have known each other for three weeks, I guess you met up or on your first date decided to be bf/gf straight away...why rush these things?? You should be going out for at least 3 weeks without being bf/gf imo.You should tell him straight away. Don't do no fake-ass shit, like some proper reason why you should break up then he finds you with a new bf the next day, proper sign on cheating...
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2005): Oh, the trouble of being loved by someone who you don't love. I have been there, and let me tell you it is hard. I have ignored phone calls, told him I was moving, and even tried blocking his phone number from my phone. Five years later, if he happens to see me, he still smiles and hugs my neck and tells me of his unending love. What should you do? I would try the truth first. Face to face will be extremly hard, I can guarentee that there will be hurt feelings. But this is the best way to go. If you feel like, you just can't handle the emotions, then do it over the phone. Just try to be as honest as you can, without breaking his heart. "Things are moving too fast and I need some time, I can give you a call when I am ready to go out on a date with you..." The final option is to ignore his phone calls, emails, etc and hope that he gets the picture. The most important thing to remember is that it would be HORRIBLY wrong to lead him on and to continue to date him.
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reader, andy +, writes (12 May 2005):
Tell him, you really will break his heart if you carry on much longer.
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