A
male
age
36-40,
*jw
writes:Hi, I have been in a relationship for the last 3 and a half years, which has not been particularly healthy in the last 6 months, about 3 months ago I started doing a show(theatre) with someone I've been friends with for a long time but kind of lost contact. We hit off getting on great, we started texting occasionally until it became every day, then all day everyday right up to bed time each day. My girlfriend knew we text but not to the extent we did. The texts were occasionally quite flirty but not overly. Also she invited me round hers abd we met up alot! Although nothing really happened ever we can't take our eyes off each other though when we are around each other. Now ive split up with my girlfriend she says she feels awkward but really wants to text me and see me but thinks she may have caused the break up( which is not true) . I really have fallen for her but I don't seem to get and signs back from her. Im nervous about making move and looking silly, or even then losing our friendship! What to do?????
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male
reader, aaringurl  +, writes (16 April 2011):
I feel a bit bad for your newly-separated girlfriend of 3 years. The years of efforts and making things work out would simply go to waste. I really don't want to see any long relationship end just like that. x.xHmm Guys, esp. those that had been in a long relationship, often look for that 'something', that 'something' that used to be there before with your ex girlfriend but you kinda lost it/ or felt like you lost it along the way. That's why you feel like, every time you're with the long-time friend, it feels so new and refreshing, and exciting, and you feel good about yourself again. One very big reason why there are guys who cheat to their partners? It's not because they want pleasure or the xxx, but it's because they just simply want the re-assurance, that they're still of worth, and everything they do is still magic. ~.~You could also try asking that long-time friend of yours what's the real score between you two. Good news is, if she does like you, but was just waiting for you to say it first. Or if she doesn't really see you both into that level of intimacy. Or if she's still not ready to dip into that pool just yet. But don't get your hopes down, girls are very good at hiding how they truly feel. When they act so reserved outside, but is really squirming like shizadle inside. Be ready for everything that could possibly happen. Fingers crossed ^.^
A
male
reader, anonymous_jp  +, writes (16 April 2011):
this is only an opinion but...go for it dude. if you're only friends, whats the point if you're only going to be unsatisfied. plus if you stay friends and stay liking her this much it'll keep you from moving on.go somewhere fun with her or something then afterwards tell her you need to talk to her and then talk to her about how you feel. be fully honest too like "i don't know where to start" etcbtw making a move would be really risky, wait til she agrees to go out with you or something then after a necessary amount of time...failing is not trying and you only live life once
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A
male
reader, mrg123 +, writes (16 April 2011):
 Well its kind-of but not really true. Your relationship was dead in any case and what she did was provide the spur you needed to end it. Credit too you, you did the right thing by everybody concerned in ending it before it went too far. Your new girl is obviously feeling guilty and thats why shes now holding back where as she wasnt before. I'm not entirely sure but the signs here are good in terms of her wanting to be with you. So, what to do? The barrier to this continuing along the course it was set on before is the guilt she feels so you have to overcome that with gentle reassurance and maybe a simple waiting game. You need to illustrate to this person as you have done to this that your previous relationship had reached the end of its natural life-span and would have ended sooner or later in any case. You may also have to take things more slowly and gently for the moment.This new girl may well feel, not entirely without foundation, that pursuing you at this moment in time is indecent and shows a lack of respect to your previous relationship. This will especially the case as she feels guilt already and wont want to add to it. I'm afraid there isnt much you can do but bide your time, and gently pursue this one. I am quite confident if you do that, the end result will be worth it.Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Solidus  +, writes (16 April 2011):
 From everything you've said it sounds like the feelings are reciprocated. you should just me more assertive and say "hey I like you, you know I like you. why don't me and you start seeing each other?" what's the worse that could happen? You get married and have kids?
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