A
male
age
36-40,
*23romeo
writes:Sorry this may be a little long, but i want to put in as much detail so you guys can understand my situation and to better help give me advice.Me and my ex gf dated for 18 months. but a couple months ago she found out i was flirting on the internet with another girl (friendly flirting) but nonetheless i lied to her about it but i ended up telling the truth afterwards. She was devastated. She cried non stop because she loved me so much that she would never think i would do this kind of thing to her. She didn't leave me right away we stood together and fought for our relationship for almost 3 months until one day she left me because she thought that was best for us. She came back to me a couple of days later because she said she couldn't stand a day without me in her life. Everything went smooth until a week later we got into another argument which led her to yelling at me and breaking up with me again. So a week later after my final exam i drove down to see her to surprise her (2 hour drive) and when i got there she was more shocked then surprised and she broke the bad news to my face. She said some cold things to my face like i don't love you anymore, everything you say means nothing to me, and i don't care about you anymore. I was devastated and drove home. So i decided to do no contact, and a week later she calls me on Christmas to say that she wants me to move on, and we started talking and i asked her several questions and she said she still has feelings, that its hard for her to do this because she doesn't see herself happy with me because of what i did, she said she only said those mean things to my face because she wanted to help me move on easier. So then a week later on new years she calls me and says that its really really over, and that i should just let her go, because she can never be happy with me and she just wants to be her normal self. BUT she said she still loves me, she said she just wants to forget about all the things i done to her and be normal again and all she wants is to love me in passion again but doesn't think she can. The final thing she said to me was if you love me as much as you say you do then let me go, that i wasn't giving her space. But overall she seemed more determined to tell me to let go of her because she chances of us getting back together are slim. Now some additional info: she has never loved anyone as much as she loved me, she has never cried so much for a guy, and we did EVERYTHING together, i was her first and everything. So now i seek advice from you guys, if you ever had a similar situation and what can i do to help get her back, or if you have any good tips on how to win her back because i love her so much and i know what i did was wrong but i changed and she knows it. Please help this broken hearted soul =(
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (13 January 2008):
 If you love a person , let her go . If she comes back to you then she is yours , if not she is somebody's.
Just go easy on her and treat her like you would to a friend.Time will heal her hurts and pains and if you were to meet again, she will be yours.
This is the time she wants to be away from you and you have to give her some space or slack. If you force yourself on her, it will hardened her heart.
A
male
reader, shikari424  +, writes (13 January 2008):
This sounds like something similar i went through. Except in my case my girl ended up loving a new guy, apart from that the situation is incredibly similar. If you love her, don't let her go. Persuade her you want to see her one last time, just to clear things up. Then promise her the world. Promise her everything, that you'll be the perfect boyfriend and that you'll love her more than you've ever loved anyone, because she is the one. More than anything promise never to hurt her again. If you really love her that much, and are missing her so bad, then make sure she knows it.
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A
female
reader, always.you  +, writes (13 January 2008):
 i learned my lesson the hard way with my first love we did everything together and i was in love when he left i was devastated and then i fought to get our relationship back but i started to realize that god gave them to put an impact on your life but no to be in your life.
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A
female
reader, i might be a girl but i can help +, writes (12 January 2008):
 ok you really shouldn't lie and that was your fault if you told the truth in the first place she probably would of been angry but she probably would trust you much better. too be honest she doesn't know what she wants either. so you both need to decide what you want before you mess eachother about, you feel you have a hold on her because you were her first everything yer so what in the end she probably wants to get more experience she needs to have space and you should give it to her and that means no texting as well. if she truely wants you she will text or call you. talk and you will find out whether you should move on or fight for the relationship.
good luck xxxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, just-ask-xx +, writes (12 January 2008):
 Ok, let's see, I understand what the girl is going through right now, she feels betrayed by you and is wondering wether she can trust you again or not, she wants to know that you love her, and that you're faithful.
Not long ago, actually, my fiancee cheated on me so...I'm still hurting, we don't even want to get back together so...that's that. When I found out I was so heart broken and I'm hurting so much. Your gf may be feeling like this, I don't know, but if she keeps calling you then she doesn't want to let go of you, and she still has feelings, as she's told you. She wants to move on but she loves you too much.
If I was you, I would call her up and give her a really moving speech. You're on your own with this one but ony because I think you should do it because you know her better and everything. I'm suggesting calling her first because you don't want to freak her out. At the end of this speech, go visit her, tell her you meant everything you said on the phone and you feel lost without her, and maybe take flowers, just to soften her up ;]
But believe me, she is hurting so much, and you need to take that into consideration.
I hope everything works out, and keep in touch! I'm nebby, and I want to know how things turn out =]
My heart goes out to you. Xo
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