A
male
age
41-50,
*ds28916
writes:Hi, I am a 24 year old male from England. I am quite a good looking lad and don't really have any problem getting the girls, the only problem is I am confused as to what turns me on at the moment and it is the wrong sort of girls i attract.Since i was about 15 I have fantasied about silk and satin ladies underwear and the idea of being forced to wear them. I even went through a stage of getting some then wearing them just for pleasure, not as a normal item of clothing. I then met a girlfriend at 17 and did nothing and thought nothing about it. It was more the pleasure of seeing the silk and satin on her that i liked and she knew it. I was with her for about 3 years.But after we broke up I found a pair of her silk knickers and I tried them on. It kinda has spiraled since then. The next GF i had one night actually wanted me to wear a pair of her knickers as a joke i think (she knew nothing about my fetish) and that was awesome, however from then i subtly let her know i liked it and i think that turned her off completely and now we are not with eachother. I don't own any pairs now but often think about it. My picture porn collection on my pc is all ladies in silk and satin. When i think sexual thoughts, the only way i am finding that i can get aroused is if i think of being dominated, force femmed or humiliated in some way. It started with just the knickers and being in them and having normal sex, now i imagine being fully femmed and humiliated in front of people. Each web site has led me to another, i like reading stories on it and the fetish has now spread to... small penis humiliation, strapon (not imagining it in a gay way but as a humiliating act being performed and the woman laughing.I have also for some time now been going to sissy chat rooms as such and roleplaying fantasies where i have been hypnotised and are 'forced' to carry out acts that the chatroom dom wants e.g, 'go put your housemates knickers on' etc etc... but some far more humilating. I would then pretend to go along with it. I am confused as to what i can do about this. Is there a way to maybe reverse it, like maybe become a more dominant person? I would love to live out one of these fantasies but I can't see how much of a future they have if i want to start a family or have a normal relationship, let alone what my family and friends would say if they found out. I guess there are a couple of questions here, but more just for me to be able to write out what i am going through and to see if you have heard of it before? Thank you in advance.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, NightStalker +, writes (9 December 2008):
Hi, don't worry about normal! No one is, and now thats out the way... hello and welcome to BDSM! Bondage, Domination, Submission, Sadomaserchism (spelt terribly). Basicly mate your a sub. Meaning your a submissive, I am a switch (swap) and too like the same idea's as you! However you aren't wierd. I assure you. I told my gf about it (we are openly into BDSM with each other just to get that off your minds) and she already knew, i got 'forced' (if forced means voluntry) to wear one of her outfits and the works. There are many many many of us. And if you are looking for a BDSM life style I recommend www.fetlife.com its like a facebook for people like us. Hope this helps!
A
male
reader, coconuts +, writes (25 November 2008):
 Men wanting to wear and even wearing sexy silk, satin or lace underwear is common and there are MANY men who do but will never admit it openly to those they know.Wearing women's underwear it may make you feel sexy or feel submissive and that is not a bad thing. Try buying yourself some, pretend your buying a girlfriend a birthday present!As for being dominated this is also fairly common but is a rarer fetish. There are many women who will want a family and also enjoy pegging you with a strap-on and making you feel humiliated in the privacy of your own room.Keep true to yourself and when you find someone who accepts you let them know who you are and what you like - but not all in one night!
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A
male
reader, loveforsatin +, writes (8 July 2008):
i myself am a straight male in my 20 s . and have a silk satin fetish . and as far as i am concerned you are perfectly normal . you would be suprised how common it is . wagner the composer had a love for silk garments . i have had a few girlfriends willing to humer my fetish . wearing there satin pjs juring sex .ect but like yourself i still am not fufilled in finding the right partner to truly act out my desires . i think the problem is that we live in a scoicety where sensuality is not present in many peoples lives because feminists making women feel bad about enjoying being a girly girl instead of ruf and bitter . thus this has manifested into women wanting to be like men therefor if most women cant apreciate the sensual touch of satin then how are they going to beable to comprehend a man wanting to get intouch with his sensual side?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2008): The other aunts all have valid points. It does sound to me like you're just enjoying some fantasies of sexual submissiveness, and there is a place for fantasies. If you want to buy women's underwear for your (strikingly "normal", as in common) fetish - why not? You may well find a girl who likes watching you wearing silk and satin undies, and will help you fulfil your fantasies in a safe way, so they don't keep intruding on your life.
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A
female
reader, tsurugi-ijin +, writes (30 April 2008):
 Ok since as loads of people have replied i'll just reply to the family bit. You shouldn't worry about not being able to have a family life while having a fetish, you will find some one who is fine or even likes the idea of your fantasiesl.
From here aslong as future kids dont find out or know about it too much it shouldnt be a problem.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (30 April 2008):
 I'm no authority on this subject, but I do recall that Cary Grant had a thing for wearing ladies underwear. He was probably the top sex symbol from his day an age, so you are in good company, at least! To some extent, most people have fetishes and fantasies, and as long as they don't become the dominant thing that drives you, it's a little something extra to enjoy! Cheers!
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A
female
reader, Susan Strict +, writes (30 April 2008):
 It's fine. It's not an unusual "fetish", but it most definitely is a fetish. That's not to say that it's bad, it's just not something everyone finds interesting - and there will be some people who find it decidedly unpleasant. Lots of people, far more than will admit it in public, have fetishes like this and play out their fantasies with their partner in private. You certainly don't want to broadcast your interests to everyone, but there are plenty of potential partners who will be only too pleased to do these things with you and there is absolutely no reason why you shouldn't have a normal relationship.
Firstly, and most importantly, with an out-of-the-ordinary fetish it is very easy to become fixated on porn. That's dangerous, because it can make you withdrawn and unable to cope with normal life. Porn isn't real. Porn is, at best, somewhere to find ideas, to explore areas that might interest you, or simply to look at something you find pleasant. The danger is, particularly with an interest that you don't talk about to anyone else, that the porn takes over your life and becomes your sole interest. Watch that you don't end up like that.
Secondly, you probably aren't going to find a girlfriend whose one thought is to force you to wear her silky knickers. It doesn't happen. It's something that she might find she is happy to do as and when you have a relationship and she is not afraid to tell you her particular fantasies and/or fetishes as well - and nearly all of us have something that we have a fantasy about and that can be "played" within a relationship. You need the solidity of a friendship and then a relationship first, and to reach the stage where you can tell each other your innermost thoughts with total trust and knowing that you will try to please each other.
Feeling like this definitely DOESN'T make you any less of a man. It doesn't make you particularly unusual either - if your fetish was unusual then there wouldn't be half as many webs sites like the ones you have found, because no one is going to create and run a web site if nobody goes there.
The short answer is to enjoy your fetish, but make sure you don't lose touch with reality.
Good luck in finding the right girl to enjoy it with you.
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A
female
reader, fishdish  +, writes (30 April 2008):
 This probably isn't the answer you're looking for, but nobody's normal, normal is a construction, and sexually normal pretty much just means being missionary the rest of your life. I think that you should just accept that this is the scene you're into and pursue it not just virtually but through a relationship, you can probably get help in your online communities to find a match. Sure, your relationship will be a different one, but it sounds like one that you can feel more yourself in--and I don't mean as a sissy, I mean that if you can fully express yourself sexually as you wish, then maybe you'll be more open emotionally and you'll generally live a happier, fuller life as you wish. Also, most dom women I believe are just that way in the bedroom so I wouldn't worry about any children down the road being traumatized by your S&M lifestyle (because if you're good parents you'll keep that behind closed doors anyway!) This is a private matter that doesn't have to come out of bedroom, but I would definitely go into relationships with both of you on the same page in terms of what you're looking for, because then you won't have to deal with a lot of closeminded people who are more interested in run of the mill sex. courage!
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