A
male
age
36-40,
*rancedRhythmEar
writes:I think the West may frown on this but I don’t care .I don’t live there anymore. In my country not being married by age 30 is weird n nor normal generally. I’ve been in relationships and they have failed in part because of immaturity and bad decisions. Now I’m looking at relationships logically not emotionally as I was raised. I have a close family we all communicate and know each other well and know the value our family name.Our family name holds meaning we are all on the same page with many things. My aunt and uncle are great people and I’ve known how they have raised their kids into moderate conservative beings and I have come to admire this. I’m exploring the possible option of marrying my first cousin. My American side would not approve for obvious reasons. But my family here would, they rather see me with someone who knows how I and our family think when it comes to succeeding in marriage, I think? Or would they rather see me take a risk on someone from the outside that may not mix well with me? Marrying a cousin keeps the family knit together especially the blood. I cannot marry her if the test results show we would have genetic issues with kids but I want to know what you guys think.
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female
reader, cmarieky  +, writes (3 January 2013):
Dito R1 and Serpico responses, its not healthy if u intend on or unintentionally but successfully producing offsprings. Talk to some Genetic Doctors about this.
A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar +, writes (3 January 2013):
TrancedRhythmEar is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (3 January 2013):
 I think you should marry someone you love, not someone who makes logical sense. Ideally the two overlap and for a relationship to work long term the relationship has to make sense, but you can't just pick someone to marry and expect a happy marriage. You have to actually fall in love first.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (3 January 2013):
 If your first cousin is blisterin' hot....who could blame you for wanting to marry her??????
Good luck....
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A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse  +, writes (3 January 2013):
 Personally, I wouldn't think of any family as suitable no matter how distant. However, I'm from a different culture and that's just me. There are plenty of women out there without needing to date/marry family.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (3 January 2013):
 Hi TrancedRhythmEarA long time ago in families in the West it was not uncommon for cousins to marry cousins. I know that it would not raise any eye brows in your country even today. And if you did come to the west as a married couple then I honestly doubt that anyone could prove that she was or was not closely related to you as Arab names are a complex riddle to Westerners. Especially to those personnel manning the Immigration desk.Royal families have often married distant cousins. Even Prince William is a 15 times removed cousin of his wife Princes Catherine in England. In Generations past their respective ancestors were grandsons of the same 15xgrandparents who lived in Tudor times in England in the 1500s.Often prior to the mid-1800s, in the West, the only social occasions people attended were events where only family and extended family (cousins) were invited. And this is why very old family trees so often reveal cousins marrying cousins.Even today in the West cousins do marry cousins but they often try to keep it hushed up. People can marry on a ship or at a resort and then come back to their country already married.And I have seen a Palestinian family where it is very obvious that descendants of the father's relatives and descendants of mother's relatives are being chosen as partners for their children. Often this is to keep family wealth within the family. Another example is one where a Professional person born in Iraq, but who lives here, went to great lengths to source a bride who suited him, and had his values and attitudes, but who had no genetic links to his family. I would never ask how he did this, but he found a good woman from a good family in Jordan. He travelled there to meet her and they married there and then he brought her here to live. He is highly educated and I do not know if he was concerned about genetic issues. I have seen photos of his children on his office desk and they are all beautiful looking children, but he has never brought his wife to any work event. So I assume that she may be very traditional. Similarly there is a trader whose shop I visit sometimes and he is from Palestine but he has a wife is from a different Arab country, but is not Palestine. He also went over there to meet her. He married her and he too brought her back to live back here. She still does not speak English and she wears the abaya and permits her eyes to be seen. She has beautiful eyes and I can tell when she is smiling. Once again I just accepted that he wanted to do this. I would never ask why. Maybe he used something like this site? http://sheza9.blogspot.com.au/As long as the medical tests do not reveal potential problems then I think it should not be a problem. But does come with a higher risk of genetic issues if she is too close to you by blood. The article below will give you more information on these genetic issues in the Arab world, plus some possible contacts for experts in this field.http://www.bmj.com/content/333/7573/8311. Lihadh Al-Gazali (algazali{at}hotmail.com), professor in clinical genetics1, 2. Hanan Hamamy, professor in human genetics2, 3. Shaikha Al-Arrayad, consultant geneticist31. 1 Department of Paediatrics, Faculty of Medicine and Health Sciences, United Arab Emirates University, Al-Ain, United Arab Emirates2. 2National Center for Diabetes, Endocrinology and Genetics, Amman, Jordan3. 3Salmaniya Medical Complex, Ministry of Health, Bahrain, Kingdom of Bahrain
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 January 2013):
 If it works for you and your family and it's acceptable where you currently live, I give you my blessing.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (3 January 2013):
 Hi, Tranced.
Maybe it sounds strange, but I think that for you it would make perfect sense. We don't live in a vacuum. You were born half American, but you have willingly, consciously and happily embraced your Saudian half, from the location where you live, to the religion, and the local society with its views and costumes. If you are going to live there, work there and raise your family there, plus you are comfortable with the local habits , costumes and life vision, might as well to live your love life Saudian style.
If you've found your niche in the world , where you are reasonably happy , and feel accepted and respected, why forcing yourself to do things the American way ?
Don't skip that genetic testing, though.
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (3 January 2013):
Not a western thing, but a science thing. There is a scientific reason incest is taboo, and its because closely related DNA is not a good mix for offspring. Almost all of the recessive genetic diseases/defects will be passed on.
I recall reading a journal related to this, and they were testing a woman's attraction to pheremones in a mans sweat. The one thing they didn't tell the participants is they used the sweat of one of of the females brothers. When this girl got to her brothers shirt, she almost vomited when she smelled it, and she was the only woman who reacted this way.
Its simply not a good idea.
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A
female
reader, R1 +, writes (3 January 2013):
 Marriage is one thing kids another. You shouldn't purposefully inbreed there could be all sorts of health issues for the child and obviously they will have reduced intelligence.
If you want to get married to your cousin and she is up for it do what you want, at least you will have less people to invite to the wedding as you are both in the same family!
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